


Jet Lag

by gaysadandtired



Series: NCT + WayV Collection [5]
Category: NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band), WAYV
Genre: Angst, CEO Lee Taeyong, Character Study, Denial, Drinking, Heavy Angst, Heavy Drinking, I'm Sorry Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Implied Sexual Content, Internal Conflict, M/M, Mental Instability, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Denial, Self-Doubt, Some texting, Taeyong is away on a business trip, Unreliable Narrator, glamorising past, theres no cheating, this is just sad im sorry, twisted view on reality, yuta annoys ten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 45,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22605073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaysadandtired/pseuds/gaysadandtired
Summary: Ten was addicted to the attention. He needed to be someone’s centre of the world or else he would go crazy, and it just so happened that Yuta became Ten’s fixation. It was wrong to use the man like this, treating him like a quick high until Taeyong came back, but then again it seemed as if Yuta also needed something to do to keep himself entertained.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten
Series: NCT + WayV Collection [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1639213
Comments: 13
Kudos: 43





	Jet Lag

Taeyong struggled to keep his eyes pried open, his eyelids becoming heavy with each passing second he sat in the unsurprisingly uncomfortable seat. He kept his chin perked up on his hand, head tilted to the side to observe the clouds passing him by in a sea of pink and yellow sunset. The delicate pastel colours were Taeyong’s sole comfort on the flight, offering him a beautiful scenery amongst the cheap feeling plastic, small tv screens and the sickly warm smell which filled the cabin. He knew that if he kept watching the moving clouds, they would eventually lull him to sleep, and he really wanted that to happen _now._

He boarded the plane three hours ago and he wasn’t even half way through his journey. Even prior to this, Taeyong had been awake since six in the morning, frantically rushing to his last meeting in London before getting dropped off at Heathrow where he waited for his flight to Beijing. To make things even worse, the flight was delayed by an hour. Sure, he could’ve taken a nap in the meantime, but Taeyong could never take a nap in an hour, he required at least three. 

And so, after waiting the whole hour, Taeyong finally got on board. First class was standard for him at this point. He probably could describe each airline’s first-class interior without even thinking, which, whilst impressive, was rather depressing. Why? Because he barely remembered his own home. 

Each time he stepped foot into his penthouse in Seoul he’d get overwhelmed, struggling to make out what way he should go to find whichever room he was after. If the kitchen and living room weren’t open plan, he would probably get lost 

His soft, plush bed was replaced with the same unpleasant plane seat; warm and relaxing baths were thrown out the window, brisk showers taking their place instead; carefully prepared breakfasts had to be occasionally rushed, or even at times skipped completely, having Taeyong run on fumes for the rest of the day. It was a tiring, constantly changing routine that Taeyong would love to let go of, but he couldn’t. He wanted to live in a way that would be deemed normal by the wider society. 

True, there may be plenty of perks of running a company, but sometimes it felt as if there were more downsides to it than anything. What Taeyong wouldn’t give to sleep in his own bed again, to sink into his practically unused mattress and float away into a world of beautiful dreams that were free of business meetings, tight collars and choking ties. All he wanted was his bed. Such a minimal thing yet it felt like a wild fantasy to him. 

“Your drink sir,” the stewardess announced, carefully placing down a glass of iced whiskey by Taeyong, streaks of condensed water trailing down the sides, dripping down onto the few tissues underneath. 

The man nodded, taking the cold glass in his hand. Now, Taeyong wasn’t much of a drinker, however on days like this he needed something to loosen him up, to put him to sleep quicker. Whiskey always seemed to do the trick, rather fast as well. Over the past few weeks he’s gotten into the habit of drinking something before sleep, his body struggling to keep up with the constant changes of time. Just one glass of whiskey or maybe a bottle of wine did wonders, and as thankful as he was to the drinks for saving him from sleepless nights, he’d much rather just have a normal sleep schedule. 

Taeyong brought the beverage up to his lips, taking a small sip of the darkish liquid. Taste wise it wasn’t amazing – then again neither was any alcohol – but it would do for now. It burnt his throat as the whiskey travelled down causing him to grimace, scrunching his face with each additional sip. Slowly, Taeyong managed to empty the glass, putting it back down once done. He felt warm on inside despite the coldness of the beverage and so he deemed that as a good sign. 

He turned back to the small window on looking the layer of fading clouds. It was funny how quickly time passed around you without you noticing. All you had to do was look away for a minute and the skies have already darkened, the long night approaching without your knowledge nor approval. 

How did time disappear in the blink of an eye? Where did it go and why must it be so cruel? Why couldn’t Taeyong experience a full day where the clocks obeyed him and moved as he wished? And why were time zones even a thing? So many questions without any satisfactory answers. 

Right now, as he was somewhere above Europe (or at least that’s where Taeyong believed he was now) he could only think of the one person patiently waiting for him at home. For him, it was already a new day whilst for Taeyong it was only eight pm. 

Taeyong liked to imagine that Ten was still lounging around in bed, his alarm still a few hours away. He was probably hogging all the blankets to himself, their cat Moon curled up beside him on the bed where Taeyong should be. They’d wake up at nine, stretching their limbs out at the exact same time, looking identical despite being completely different species. Ten would probably groan as he tried to get up from bed, but after a few minutes he’d be in the kitchen making himself a nice breakfast. 

Taeyong has received plenty of photos from Ten where the younger man showed off his meal. ‘ _Jealous aren’t_ _ya,’_ was the message he attached to his most recent picture. The older could only laugh as he saw the burnt toast laying on the pretty much empty plate. ‘ _I forgot to do the shopping,’_ Ten added, explaining the lack of anything edible. 

Tired, Taeyong picked up his phone, using his fingerprint he unlocked the device, watching as his home screen came into view. It was the picture he took the last time he saw Ten, that being just over two months. Taeyong had decided to treat Ten out on a date after being gone for three weeks on a business trip. Those three weeks felt to long at the time, however right now Taeyong wished the months he has spent away from home were just a few weeks. 

Ten was wearing one of those obnoxious headbands with the mouse ears on top, a blinding smile on his face as he posed in front of a ride Taeyong remembered vividly. He could hear Ten’s laughter clear as day as the memory of him being flung about in his seat came rushing into mind. The younger kept teasing Taeyong afterwards, making fun of how petrified Taeyong was. ‘ _You looked like your soul left your body!’_ It’s not his fault Taeyong would much rather stay on the ground where it was safe and level and where he wasn’t being thrown from side to side. It’s funny really; Taeyong despised being off the ground yet he somehow managed to spend majority of his time locked up in a tin can flying at ridiculously high at speeds that petrified Taeyong to even think of. He’d take riding a stupid rollercoaster with Ten over this any day. 

Navigating through his phone, Taeyong opened up his Kakao messages, scrolling through his contacts to find Ten. Their last conversation was a few hours ago when Ten wished Taeyong a safe journey. The older replied with a bunch on hearts, telling Ten to sleep well and cuddle Moon for him. Sometimes, when he starts missing Ten and he knows the younger man is busy or asleep he’ll just scroll through their exchanges, reading about Ten’s day, what he did with his friends or how particularly boring work was today. Even the shortest text from Ten was enough to lift Taeyong’s spirits, he really was lucky to have Ten. 

_15:23 Tennie: hey old man how_ _ya_ _holding up????_

_15:23 Tennie: I cleaned the place and you_ _wont_ _believe the shit I found under the couch_

_15:24 Me: try me_

_15:24 Tennie: remember your watch???_

_15:24 Tennie: the one you thought you lost at_ _doyoungs_ _dinner party???_

_15:25 Me:_ _youre_ _kidding right?_

_15:25 Tennie: nope_

_15:25 Tennie: I found like 500000 won as well_

_15:26 Me: how on earth???_

_15:26 Me: how the hell did that get there_

_15:26 Tennie: I don’t know mister ‘i_ _cant_ _walk to the bedroom the couch is fine’_

_15:26 Me:_ _….._

_15:27 Tennie: all your fault_ _yongie_

_15:27 Tennie:_ _youre_ _lucky moon didn’t shred anything to_ _lil_ _pieces_

_15:27 Me: id forgive her_

_15:27 Tennie: why am I not surprised_

Taeyong smiled, yet his joy barely masked the sadness he felt imagining Ten without him. At times he couldn’t help but feel guilty; Taeyong was rarely at home yet Ten always waited for him, he always kept him updated on what he was doing, he’d send reassuring messages before any meeting Taeyong had because he _always_ knew Taeyong’s schedule. All that Taeyong could really offer Ten in return for all his love and patience was a short call when he wasn’t on the verge of passing out, or a few texts in between his busy day. One day he was going to pay Ten back. How? Well, Taeyong hasn’t really thought it through, though he likes to imagine it involves the two of them growing old somewhere nice, no meetings or suffocating suits in sight. Just how realistic that was, Taeyong wasn’t sure, but he hoped that he can reach that goal within the next few years or else he feared Ten might finally bid him goodbye. 

He envisioned a place by the coast, maybe in Thailand. Taeyong loved the country after the few times he and Ten flew over to visit the younger’s family for birthdays and weddings. There was something magical about the place; as soon as Ten would step off the plane he was practically glowing as if living in Seoul made him operate on half full batteries and Thailand was the one place he was fully charged. Ten would grab Taeyong by his hand and drag him everywhere, showing off the beauty and pride of his nation. They would spend the whole day outside, basking in the sun, drinking iced beverages and filling their stomachs up with various types of street food. 

The man reached up and turned off the gust of cold air blowing down on him, groaning from finally moving after what was probably an hour of statue like behaviour. His neck ached and his wrist felt stiff from holding his chin up all this time. Having had enough, Taeyong sank down in his seat forcing his eyes shut. He should just try to sleep, maybe the alcohol would start working soon and knock him out for the remaining hours of his flight, putting him out of his misery being so far away from land and most importantly, so far away from his home. 

*** 

Ten felt soft paws kneading at his back. The man made a disgruntled sound as his alarm of a cat woke him up... five minutes before his actual alarm. Great. 

He yawned, stretching his limbs out in every which way to relieve himself of the built-up stiffness in his joints. Sleeping curled up into a ball may seem nice at first but the aftereffects in the morning were far from pleasant. Moon, now satisfied that she had woken Ten up, jumped over the man, sitting herself down on the pillow besides Ten. She had a nasty habit of not only waking Ten up minutes before he planned on, but also meowing when she did snap Ten out of his slumber just so that the man would actually get up and feed her. If Ten didn’t love her so much he would have probably locked the cat up in a cage for the night. 

Moon began to cry, starting off mildly at first but after a minute Ten had no other choice than to heave himself up and drag his tired and limp body over to the kitchen. 

Of course, he fed the cat before he fed himself. The hierarchy of the entire animal kingdom was currently weeping at the sight of a cat bossing a whole human being around, making Ten’s life absolute hell of he refused to do as ordered by the greyish cat. No, she wasn’t a Russian Blue as Taeyong thought when getting her, instead she was a Nebelung. Ten refused to say that, insisting she was a Russian Blue because ‘ _she’s_ _gonna_ _act all high and mighty if she’s some weird ass special breed’_. That only amused Taeyong, arguing that the younger was being absolutely ridiculous. 

Ten emptied out the cat food sachet, grimacing from the unpleasant fishy smell as he tossed the packet away. Moon, finally pleased, rubbed herself against Ten’s bare legs, thanking him for the food. “Yeah, thank me you piece of shit,” he muttered without any actual venom. Moon purred, waddling over to her ‘ _prettiest kitty’_ bowl (Taeyong really spoilt her rotten). 

Now, time for Ten’s breakfast. Despite knowing the fridge was empty he still checked, only disappointing himself at the lit-up void of nothingness. He wanted to go shopping yesterday, however he got caught up with his friends at the bar. Jaehyun kept the drinks coming and the thought of having to replenish his supplies completely left his mind on his third bottle of beer. He certainly does regret it now. 

“Mind if I drink your milk?” He asked the cat, taking the silence as a valid response. “Of course you don’t. You wouldn’t let you daddy starve would you, you annoying yet lovable fluff ball.” 

Ten closed the fridge door with his hip, carrying the milk out and placing it down on the black marble countertop. He grabbed a bowl for himself and prayed that he still had some remnants of cereal in the cupboards or he was royally screwed. The man reached up to rummage through the shelves, exclaiming as he felt what seemed to be a box of something hopefully edible. 

“Fuck yeah!” He happily pulled the box down, checking the expiration date on the cardboard flap. He couldn’t quite make out the month but the year was correct so that was good enough to consume. If he started to get sick later, he could just cancel his day out with Kun and Sicheng, using the excuse of expired cereal and poisoned milk to gain their pity, though he doubted if his friends would actually feel sorry for him or if they’d laugh at Ten for being a complete disaster and threat to his own life. Ten may be twenty-eight but he could barely keep the kitchen intact every time he attempted to prepare anything more difficult than some spaghetti. How Taeyong trusted Ten to not set the apartment in flames truly baffled him at times. 

Shaking the cereal out into the bowl Ten wanted to cry. No wonder the box felt as light as it did, it barely contained enough cereal to fill the bottom of the bowl. What Ten ended up looking at was a few pathetic cornflakes dusted over in crumbs of the cereal long gone. 

“At this rate I’ll start eating cat food,” he said to himself, sliding the box away and grabbing the milk to pour into his... well, a shell of a breakfast. Still, it was better than nothing. 

Looking at the measly bowl of milk and a drop of old cornflakes made Ten think of Taeyong. Not because Taeyong resembled a depressing breakfast, but because it was something that would definitely lift the older man’s spirits after a long day of travelling. Haphazardly, the man pulled out his phone from his loose blue sweatpants. He opened up the camera, taking a picture with the meal. 

_09:21 Me: see_ _yongie?_

_09:21 Me: your boyfriend is the best chef around_

_09:21 Me: [image attached]_

Ten wondered how Taeyong was doing. Beijing was only an hour behind Seoul so, in an ideal world, Taeyong would already be up. However, Ten doubted that, knowing for a fact that the older was laid face first in in a mass of hotel pillows and duvets, his internal clock going haywire at all the time zones he just flew over. 

Beijing really wasn’t that far away, and this was the closest the two men had been to each other in the span of two months. But that fact made the distance between them so much more unbearable. The closer they were to one another the further it felt, because Taeyong couldn’t just hop on a plane and run over to Ten in the span of an hour, and neither could Ten. It was times like this where Ten felt greedy; he wanted – scrap that – _needed_ Taeyong beside him but Taeyong wasn’t available. Ten had the urge, on so many nights, to call Taeyong and beg him to come home, to throw away his business and just hold Ten, kiss him like he used to when he boarded the plane max twice a year. He was jealous of the bed Taeyong slept in because, unlike him, it got to experience Taeyong’s warmth, his slender fingers stroking the sheets that had no right to get all the attention Ten couldn’t get. 

Mood turned sour, Ten grabbed a spoon and shovelled what was basically just milk into his mouth. He scooped up some of the soggy cereal dust and downed it. Moon looked like she enjoyed her fish jelly, so at least that made one of them happy. 

“Any good?” Ten asked as Moon jumped up on the counter, sitting down next to the cereal bowl, her tail swinging from side to side as her olive eyes stared Ten down. “I figured.” 

Finding it pointless, Ten threw the spoon in the sink and picked the bowl up with his hands, tilting it back and chugging everything is a few seconds. If his stomach could survive the lactose dump today then Ten would be overjoyed. He wasn’t lactose intolerant per se, however his body did have a tendency of rejecting milk products on the most random of occasions. Eating two tubs of ice cream on the couch? Absolutely fine. Taking a sip of his friend’s milkshake when they were out in town? Indescribable, torturous pain in less than a minute. 

“Don’t fail me today,” he begged as he rubbed his tummy. His plan for today wasn’t thrilling, however it would really help if he didn’t have to worry about his intestines fucking up and deciding on what Ten could and couldn’t do. Eleven to one was Ten’s time in the gym, working out and sweating out all the frustration he didn’t release during his quality alone time in the dead of night. After washing up Ten intended on finally leaving the apartment and buying groceries because at this rate Ten will end up eating the silverware. Up until seven he was up to his own devices, mostly getting ready to meet up with his two close friends. Kun had recently stumbled on a cosy bar that performed live music on the weekends, so who was Ten to refuse such a tempting offer? 

In the corner of Ten’s eyes, he could spot the edge of his screen light up with a notification. He was sceptical about who the sender might be; Sicheng was a self-proclaimed night owl and hater of mornings, Kun never texted first unless someone was dying, Jaehyun recently banned himself from using his phone in the morning and Doyoung wouldn’t message Ten even if his life depended on it. 

Confused, Ten unlocked his phone only to be surprised at the sender. 

_09:49_ _Yongie: wow_ _tennie, your cooking is out of this world_

_09:49_ _Yongie: but please actually eat something proper_

_09:49_ _Yongie: this hurts to look at_

_09:50 Me: don’t worry_

_09:50 Me:_ _im_ _gonna_ _grab something before heading out to the gym_

_09:50 Me: I can take care of myself_

_09:51_ _Yongie: are you sure about???_

_09:51_ _Yongie: because I hate to remind you but you just had a pitiful bowl of milk for breakfast_

_09:51 Me: don’t judge me_

_09:52 Me: if you really care then eat something good for the both of us_

_09:52_ _Yongie: anything for you baby_

_09:52_ _Yongie: any other special requests?_

~~_09:53 Me: come back_~~

_09:53 Me: send a pic_

_09:53_ _Yongie: needy_

_09:53_ _Yongie: here you go_

_09:53_ _Yongie: [image attached]_

Ten instantly burst out into laughter, taking in the sight of his dishevelled boyfriend laying in bed, his hair strewn every which way. There were deep dark circles under his eyes yet he was still managing to force a smile, brightening Ten’s morning by a tenfold. Still, Ten couldn’t be help but be concerned as to why Taeyong up after a twelve hour flight. 

_09:54 Me: why_ _arent_ _you asleep???_

_09:54 Me: you look like death_

_09:55_ _Yongie: you sure know how to make a man feel beautiful_

_09:55_ _Yongie: my body is too fucked to go to sleep right now_

_09:55_ _Yongie: trust me that I REALLY do_ _wanna_ _go to sleep_

_09:55_ _Yongie: my body says siesta but my mind and internal clock is like fiesta mode if_ _ya_ _get me_

_09:56 Me: I think I do..._

_09:56 Me: anyway, do get some proper sleep when you can_

_09:56 Yongje: I’ll try_

_09:56 Yongje: anyway_ _tennie, how you doing?_ _Miss me?_

_09:57 Me: that’s such a stupid question, of course I miss you_

_09:57 Me: do you know when you’ll get back?_

_09:57_ _Yongie: I wish I did baby. For_ _now_ _we’re still chasing down investors and I_ _dont_ _know_

_09:57_ _Yongie:_ _theres_ _nothing I want more than to stay at home with you and_ _moon_

_09:58 Me: give me a time window_

_09:58 Me: give me something to look forward to_

_09:59_ _Yongie:_ _.... next month_

_09:59_ _Yongie: I promise I’ll be home by then_

_09:59_ _Yongie: I’ll spoil you and treat you to whatever you want when I get back. I promise_

_10:00 Me: you swear?_

_10:00_ _Yongie: on my life_

The messages died out soon after that and Ten couldn’t really be angry despite everything inside him telling him that he should be furious, that he should be screaming, that he had the right to be mad. Another month? That was ridiculous! At this rate Ten will spend the whole year alone, touch starved and needy in every way imaginable. There was a certain limit as to how much you can tolerate separation and, unlike some people, Ten had a low threshold. 

Ten looked down at his phone, the picture of Taeyong he used as his home screen stared up at him with the same eyes Ten had fallen for what felt like a whole lifetime ago. Back then they were still so young, so new to life and they hardships that came with adulthood. Taeyong was still completing his apprenticeship at the time whilst Ten worked part time at three coffee shops, all twenty minutes' walk from their shitty apartment they paid ridiculous rent for. Life was so different then. Was it better? That’s debatable. But was Ten happier then than now? Now that was a good question. 

Did Ten prefer worrying about having enough cash to last them the month but Taeyong was always there for him, always a phone call away and a thirty-minute wait for him to come back home with greasy takeout they’d stuff their faces with despite knowing just how terrible it was for their bodies? Or did he prefer now? Did he prefer living in a luxurious apartment located in the dearest part of Seoul, his bank account never empty and his job easy? Maybe that part was better, however no amount of money would fill the suffocating emptiness Ten felt each morning, day, evening and night as Taeyong was thousands of miles away. 

Taeyong didn’t take Ten out on dates anymore because _when_ could he? Ten hadn’t been kissed in two months, he hasn’t been touched or loved in the same way he used to be. And as much as he loved Taeyong, phone calls weren’t the same as having him around. 

So once again, was life better now or then? 

Ten yawned, stroking Moon as he walked past the counter to wash up and get changed. He'll leave earlier than usual so that he could grab something more nutritious to eat than milk on his way to the gym. 

***

Taeyong kept glancing at his phone all through the meeting, hoping that Ten would have sent him something, maybe a picture of Moon or of him at the gym. Maybe a single heart emoji that Taeyong would use to keep him motivated through the day ahead. However, there was nothing. Ten didn’t send anything since the morning which, whilst unusual, wasn’t a reason for Taeyong to get worried. The younger could be busy or tired, maybe he was with his friends, who knew what Ten could be up to. Unlike Taeyong the younger man didn’t have a fixed schedule and could therefore do absolutely anything at absolutely any time. 

Quite frankly, Taeyong was jealous of Ten’s freedom. He too wished he could reschedule a meeting as he saw fit just so that he could spend some more time at home or with people that he loved (Ten, thought Moon also deserves an honourable mention). So far, he couldn’t allow himself that, not until he felt secure in his company. After all, it wasn’t just for him. He has to be confident that his funds won’t dissolve and his years of hard, constant work won’t come crashing down, burning up in flames. If that were to happen then the life he promised Ten would be gone faster than it had appeared, and Ten deserved only the best after all that he’s done and gone through for Taeyong. 

“Mr Lee,” one of the investors called, snapping Taeyong out of his daze. “How does that sound?” 

Taeyong nodded without thinking, but there really wasn’t a need to listen, not when every meeting was practically identical. The offers and discussions were similar and even if they needed negotiating, Taeyong always managed to sort them out quickly without much of a hassle. Business was the same, no matter how much people argued it was an everchanging field, it always felt the same. Taeyong could step into any conference room and hear the same repetitive droning of a middle-aged man as he heard last week on a whole different continent. He allowed himself to zone out from time to time, because quite frankly, there were a million other things he’d rather be thinking of. 

“That sounds fine,” he replied half-heartedly. His mind was in a completely different place to where his physical body was but after years of practice, he finally mastered the act of putting up a front which seemed to be listening and interested when in reality it was far from the truth. 

“Hand a copy to Mr Jung and we’ll call you back with our decision,” he ordered, moving about in his seat to ease the stiffness of his spine. “That’ll be everything for today, thank you.” Taeyong smiled politely at the men and women in the room, standing up, fixing the button to his immaculate black suit. 

On the way out he had to shake a few hands, repeating the same “pleasure doing business with you” to everyone he spent the past hour with. He forced himself to smile when all his facial muscles were screaming for was for Taeyong to relax. He didn’t get much sleep today and ever since he texted Ten he couldn’t force himself to drift off into peaceful slumber for even a few minutes. At least Taeyong slept on the plane for about four hours which was most likely the longest he got to relax over the past two weeks. Concerning, yes, but not so unusual. 

Either way, he was done with meetings for the next few days which gave him enough time to recharge and hopefully walk around Beijing. In all fairness, Taeyong should probably have booked a flight back to Seoul to surprise Ten, however that would be more hassle than anything. Not only that, he’d have to fly to Seoul, stay for two days, one of which would probably be him sleeping things off and the other would be them doing whatever they can fit in a day before Taeyong has to fly right back to Beijing to catch his flight to New York. In the end it would be pointless to visit Ten only to be a lifeless corpse around him. He’ll make it up to the younger though, maybe he’ll buy him something nice as an apology gift. 

Ten liked sparkly things like rings, bracelets and earrings so Taeyong made sure to spoil the younger whenever he had the chance. It’s the least he could do to show Ten that he still cared – well, of course there were other ways such as calls and messages, but Taeyong thought jewels were a grand enough gesture to let Ten know he loved him. True, there was more to love than materialistic possessions, but Taeyong used gifts as a physical proof of his feelings. The more expensive, the more he could show Ten he loved him. 

_15:26 Me: long day_

_15:26 Me: how are you holding up_ _tennie?_

_15:27 Tennie: fine_

_15:27 Tennie: I finally went shopping_

_15:27 Tennie: maybe I_ _wont_ _starve to death now_

_15:28 Me: good to hear_ _tennie_

_15:28 Tennie: have you eaten anything yet??_

_15:28 Tennie: the answer better be yes or_ _im_ _flying to_ _beijing_ _just to whoop your ass_

_15:29 Me: please do_

_15:29 Tennie: unbelievable_

_15:29 Tennie: but did you eat?_

_15:29 Me:_ _yes_ _I did baby, don’t need to worry about me_

_15:30 Tennie: that’s impossible, I always worry_

_15:30 Me: I know..._

_15:30 Me: I love you so much_ _tennie_

_15:30 Me: you_ _know_ _that right?_

_15:31 Tennie:_ _of course_ _I do_

_15:31 Tennie: I love you too_

_15:31 Me:_ _ill_ _see you soon_ _tennie, I promise_

_15:32 Tennie: how soon_

_15:32 Tennie: because a month is too long_

_15:32 Tennie:_ _cant_ _you come now_

_15:32 Me: I wish I could but if I came_ _now_ _we wouldn’t be able to do anything_

_15:33 Me: id be too tired_

_15:33 Tennie: …._

_15:33 Tennie: I don’t mind_

_15:33 Tennie: I just_ _wanna_ _see you_

_15:33 Me:_ _ill_ _call you tonight okay?_

_15:34 Tennie: fine_

_15:34 Tennie: but_ _ill_ _be out with_ _kun_ _and_ _cheng_ _so... I might not be able to answer_

_15:34 Me: in the morning then?_

_15:34 Tennie: ill see_

_15:35 Me:_ _tennie...._

_15:35 Tennie: yeah_

_15:35 Me:_ _im_ _sorry_

_15:35 Me: I swear ill make it up to you_

_15:35 Tennie: its fine_

_15:35 Tennie:_ _im_ _fine_

_15:35 Tennie:_ _ill_ _talk to you later, I have to unpack the groceries before everything_ _melts_ _or moon eats everything_

_15:36 Me: okay_ _baby_

_15:36 Me:_ _im_ _free for the rest of the day if you_ _wanna_ _talk or call or anything_

_15:36 Tennie: I know_

_15:36 Tennie: sorry,_ _im_ _just a bit tired from working out_

_15:36 Me:_ _its_ _okay_

_15:36 Me: I love you_

_15:37 Tennie: yeah_

_15:37 Tennie: love you too_

Taeyong wasn’t oblivious, he could tell Ten wasn’t in the mood and no matter what excuse he gave to Taeyong, the older knew he was part of the blame which is exactly why he needed to leave this building as soon as he could and start looking for something to Ten. Price didn’t matter when it came to Ten, it never did. Taeyong could spend billions on Ten if it would mean Ten had exactly everything he could ever possibly need and want. 

*** 

“How’s it going then?” Kun asked, prying his best friend for some sort of answer. Ten had blanked out a few minutes ago, his hand mechanically swirling the drink in his glass. “Hello? Earth to Ten,” he called out but Ten still wasn’t responding to anything. 

“You think he’s glitching?” Sicheng asked, checking out Ten’s dead eyes. “Like a robot. Maybe he’s been cloned. You know how the rich get- ow!” 

“ _Sicheng,”_ Kun hissed, warning the youngest. “At least try to be considerate.” 

Sicheng rubbed his shin where Kun just kicked him with the force of a bulldozer. “I’m trying to lighten the mood,” he whined. “But I see that you wanna wallow in sadness. Fine by me, more reasons to get shit faced tonight.” The youngest of the three men happily raised his drink up, throwing it back and downing the remaining drops of alcohol. 

Kun offered Ten a sympathetic smile, placing his hand on top of Ten’s arm, squeezing the limb gently to get Ten to say something, or to at least come back down to earth to them. That seemed to do the trick though as Ten blinked a few times, glazed eyes warily glancing over at Kun. He forced his eyes shut, bringing back some moisture to them from his mindless staring. 

“You good?” The eldest questioned, concern interwoven into his slowly slurring speech. Even though he tried to be the responsible drinker out of the three he always found himself breaking his rules and drinking whatever Sicheng threw at him. “You’ve been out of it since we got here. Wanna talk about it?” 

Ten shrugged. “It’s fine,” he assured though he was always rather terrible at lying, especially to his best friend who saw right through him as if he was a translucent sheet of paper. “I’m just a bit tired from earlier,” he said, hoping his excuse would be enough for Kun to drop the topic. Quite frankly Ten didn’t intend on worrying Kun and Sicheng with his sob story of his millionaire boyfriend leaving him alone for a record breaking two months, possibly three if he was being serious about that being the soonest he’d be back. “I overestimated myself,” he added, concluding his excuse. 

“Sadly, we’re not as nimble and strong as we used to be,” Sicheng added, raising his empty glass up dramatically. “Oh, where did the good old days go?” 

“Stop being a drama queen,” Kun laughed, rolling his eyes at Sicheng’s antics. “You’re literally the youngest out of us.” 

“We might as well be fossils,” the man said blankly, staring down at his glass. “They’re gonna use us as fuel in a few years.” 

Ten chuckled, taking the empty mug from his friend. “The drinks are getting to your head,” he pointed out, placing the solid item down, getting the bartender to pour him another one. “Next one’s on me.” 

“You’re an enabler,” Kun joked, passing Ten his own empty glass. “Pass me one too.” 

Soon enough the three men were pleasantly buzzed, the whole world slowly spinning around them as they tried to sit still in the booth Kun dragged them all to on their fourth round. The live music blended in with all the other noise in the bar becoming practically undistinguishable to Ten and his friends. At this point it was just white noise. But even then, Ten found it oddly calming. It certainly beat the deafening silence back at home, even when Ten decided to blast his music through the sound system on full blast to pretend it wasn’t as cold living there as it truly was. 

Sicheng rested against Ten’s side, hugging Ten’s arm like a teddy bear, using Ten and his warmth to lull himself to sleep. Ten was also beginning to feel the effects of a long day and drinking on his body, parts of his organism slowly shutting down one by one, begging the man to go to sleep. 

Ten groaned, picking up his fancy multicoloured cocktail and sipping whatever he could stomach before his body fully gave up on him. 

“Should I call us a cab?” Kun asked, his words slow, tired and intoxicated. Ten just nodded, putting his drink back down and placing his head on top of Sicheng’s, cuddling up against the younger. He enjoyed the warmth the man offered; he loved the feeling of having the man slowly rise and fall with his breathing, reminding Ten that he was in fact a real person and not just a cuddle pillow he uses to trick himself into sleep on particularly lonely nights. Inadvertently, Ten melted against the younger, a pleased hum coming from the back of his throat as he proceeded to lean against Sicheng. Kun noticed the content look on Ten’s face and chuckled, gently nudging Ten. “You look comfy,” he commented. “You should go home together.” 

“Oh yeah,” Sicheng blissfully mumbled, “lay me in your big ass bed. I can take Yong’s place until he gets back. That’d be nice, wouldn’t it Tennie?” 

Ten tensed up, sobering up at the mention of his nickname. He awkwardly pried Sicheng from his arm, sitting upright, suddenly uncomfortable from everything. It was too hot, too loud, too much of everything. His two friends exchanged confused gazes, wondering what’s gotten into Ten. 

“Sorry I just- I need some fresh air,” Ten explained, standing up and pushing past bodies on his way out. 

The chilly late summer air hit him like a crashing wave, a stark contrast to the drunken heat of the bar. Ten bent down, hands flat on his knees. He let out a shaky breath, the uneasiness he felt a few moments ago attempting to escape him with each exhale. He was overreacting, he knew he was, but he wasn’t going to act as if he wasn’t affected by it. Sicheng meant no harm, Ten knew his friend well enough to know how he was when he got drunk: teasing and lacking a filter. Still, to say he’d take Taeyong’s place stung, and then to call him the nickname only his boyfriend uses... it didn’t sit right with Ten, not tonight. 

It’s not like his friends don’t joke about him or Taeyong, and especially their shitty situation. Truly Ten has heard about everything that, whilst harsh and at times hurtful, wasn’t meant to be taken to heart. The problem tonight – or more like the problem from the entire day – stemmed from Taeyong’s earlier message. Next month. That was so vague and _so_ far away. Having to sleep alone for the next month really did leave Ten feeling rather cynical and grouchy. 

The man looked around, taking in the emptiness of the streets surrounding him. He considered waiting for the taxi Kun called, however he really wasn’t in the mood to share it with his two friends, even if they didn’t do anything wrong. Ten pulled out his phone and called for his own ride, sending a text to the group chat he was in with Kun and Sicheng letting them know he’s left by himself. He’d explain his sudden outburst another time, preferably when he was sober, at home and in a less awful mood. 

Ten began to walk down the street, the air having put him in a sober enough state to walk somewhat straight. He stopped at the spot he told his uber to get there and he waited, his back pressed against the building he stood by. It was another bar, or maybe it was a club? The loud music and neon sign pointed Ten towards the latter option. A part of him craved the careless fun that came with such parties, but for tonight his frame of mind was beyond saving. No amount of cheap drinks, obnoxious music and flashing lights could make him forget about his daunting predicament. 

Impatient, Ten checked the time at his phone, frustrated that not even three minutes had passed since he got to the nightclub. He groaned, pulling at his hair that he spent so long trying to make look decent before leaving. There was no point now, he might as well look a mess, at least then he’d look how he felt. 

The doors to the club swung open and a few figures emerged, all equally dishevelled and blissed out from a fun and boisterous night out. Ten observed them all messily pouring out of the building, finding the mayhem rather amusing to look at. On any other night, that would probably be him and his friends – and hopefully Taeyong too. Lord knows how fun Taeyong used to be at parties. One time, an outing Ten recalls every minute of, comes to mind whenever the thought of Taeyong and partying comes to mind. 

They were both on their first year of university and Jaehyun – Taeyong's best friend –was celebrating his birthday so he invited everyone out to the nightclub that just opened that month. At the time, Ten was working tiring shifts between his already busy schedule so, additionally to celebrating his friend’s birthday, Taeyong ensured to entertain Ten as much as he possibly could. There was dancing on tables, dozens of soju shots, a dangerous game of darts (who even puts those in a nightclub? Bar maybe, but not a nightclub) and the most chaotic rendition of adult ceremony Ten has ever had the pleasure of witnessing. That was definitely one of the best nights of Ten’s life, and it was one of the moments that made Ten realise that he felt more for his friend than he used to believe he did. Ten has the pictures of Taeyong dancing on a table hidden away in one of their photo albums, locked away so that Taeyong can never find it and burn it. 

The time on his phone changed by a minute and Ten had the biggest urge to scream. He should’ve just got the cab with Kun and Sicheng, shitty mood be damned. Now he had to wait alone in the dead of a Friday night, waiting for his uber that might end up being some creepy old man with a weird fascination or need of talking to his passengers who _clearly_ don’t want to start any conversations. 

One of the figures that had left the club had started to approach him and Ten’s stomach dropped. His mind went to the worst possibility already, something he owed to his drunken mind. What if the man walking over was going to kill him? Kidnap him? Or maybe he- 

“Fancy seeing you here,” the man said, a cheery tint to his words. “Didn’t take you for _this_ kind of guy,” he continued, looking Ten up and down. Only then did Ten realise how he must’ve looked, standing at the corner of a club in what could be deemed as a provocative outfit, smudged eyeliner around his hazed eyes. The man who’s face Ten couldn’t make out under the dim street lights laughed, leaning against the wall, his toned arm propping him up. “Don’t worry, I’m not seeking any favours.” 

“And you are?” Ten asked, not exactly thrilled to be getting chatted up by a stranger. 

The man scoffed. “Don’t recognise me?” He looked to Ten however Ten didn’t indulge in his amusement. “Right, you probably can’t even see me clearly. I’m Yuta,” he said, introducing himself. 

“Am I supposed to recognise that?” 

“Yuta,” the man repeated, baffled that Ten still hasn’t caught on. “From the gym? I usually leave you alone when you come in, but we’ve talked before.” 

Ten heard the cogs turning around in his head. Now that Yuta mentioned it, Ten does seem to recall a man at his gym with that name. Still, he was wary of whether he had the right guy in mind. “Right... gym junkie?” He asked, hoping that the nickname would ring a bell. 

“I do believe people call me that,” Yuta replied, chuckling. “Seriously, you don’t recognise me?” 

“In this light I wouldn’t even recognise my own mother,” Ten declared jokingly. “I think I get the idea though,” he added, relaxing now that he knew he wasn’t in the presence of an actual creep. 

“So,” Yuta started, pushing himself off the wall, his arm aching from his previous awkward position. He decided on standing properly, blocking the view of the club’s entrance with his broad, muscular shoulders. Ten couldn’t deny that the man was attractive, well, his outlined silhouette at least seemed nice to look at. “How come you’re out here all alone?” 

“I could ask you the same question,” Ten responded. He wasn’t in the mood for a proper conversation and he prayed Yuta would catch on onto how he was attempting to distance himself, arms crossed over his chest in full on defence mode. 

“It’s a Friday night,” Yuta pointed out as if it wasn’t obvious enough and a clarification was necessary. “My friend got promoted so he just texted saying all drinks are on him and moments later I’m here, _ta da,_ ” he explained briefly in a manner that somewhat kept Ten entertained. It was probably Yuta’s tone; he had this aimable, light-hearted air about him. “It was pretty fun,” he continued, filling the silence between them, seemingly not expecting Ten to add anything to the one-sided exchange. “Though as nice it was to hang out tonight, he might’ve gone a little bit over board. I mean, when you start referring to your current girlfriend with your ex’s name then yeah... things go downhill really quick. I honestly won’t be surprised if they breakup soon because I definitely would be offended by that.” 

Ten let out an amused sigh, glancing up at the man. “Do you always talk so much with strangers or are you just that drunk?” 

“I’d say both,” Yuta explained. “Though I hope you wouldn’t see me as a stranger.” 

“Nodding to each other once in a while in a gym doesn’t instantly make us friends,” Ten clarified. “At this point we’re merely acquaintances. You don’t even know my name, so I’d say that yes, you’re practically a stranger.” 

“Well then _acquaintance,”_ Yuta said, putting emphasis on the last word, “what is your name?” 

Ten tilted his head to the side, considering if he should answer or not. On one hand he didn’t have to respond, it’s not like he was held at gun point to let Yuta know, but then again it did seem only fair since the other man did already introduce himself. Plus, if things went well, Ten might end up with a gym buddy and maybe even a potential new friend. 

“Ten,” the man said briefly. “I’m Ten.” 

Yuta pursed his lips and nodded. “Like the number?” 

Ten sighed, having heard that response a billion times already. “Yes,” he replied, “like the number ten. Satisfied?” 

“Very,” Yuta said, obviously smiling. “It’s a nice name.” 

“Thanks, my parents gave it to me,” Ten retorted mockingly. 

“Ouch, feisty aren’t you?” 

“Not in the mood,” Ten stated. 

“Ah... you waiting for someone?” 

“My uber. He should be here in a few minutes,” he told Yuta. 

Yuta hummed knowingly. “Well then, I hope he gets here soon. You look like you’re gonna pass out soon.” 

“You’re not wrong about that.” 

Ten felt his pocket vibrate, announcing the arrival of a new notification. He guessed it was just Kun asking him if he’s sure he doesn’t want to take the cab with them. He’s about to reply that he’s sure, however the message he received wasn’t from any of his friends. 

_22:48_ _Yongie: I know you probably_ _wont_ _see this until tomorrow but stay safe and have fun_

_22:48_ _Yongie: love you_

_22:48_ _Yongie: and this is a message for ten in the morning: drink lots of water_

_22:48_ _Yongie: love you_ _tennie_

Ten must’ve had the widest, dopiest grin across his face because Yuta felt the need to point it out. “Girlfriend?” He asked. Ten gave him no response so he tried again. “Boyfriend?” Ten’s body inadvertently twitched and that’s all Yuta needed to make his conclusion. He smirked, or at least Ten thought that was what the man did, the lighting really was terrible considering their location. “Don’t worry, I don’t discriminate.” 

Ten scoffed. That comment definitely rubbed Ten the wrong way, something which was happening too often for Ten’s liking in one night. First Sicheng and now Yuta. “Wow, I’m so relieved you have the bare minimum human decency.” 

Yuta winced. “Yeah maybe that did sound kinda bad... what I meant is that-” 

“My uber’s here,” Ten announced, cutting Yuta off before he proceeded to dig himself an even bigger hole. “I guess I’ll see you at the gym, though I can’t say I’m gonna be looking out for you.” 

“I was expecting that,” Yuta shrugged. “See you around Ten.” 

“Yeah, I guess.” With that, Ten sat closed the door to the vehicle, greeting the driver briefly before checking his phone again. He questioned the possibility of Taeyong still being up at this hour. True, the older didn’t have anything on his schedule for tomorrow so maybe Ten had a chance of calling his boyfriend as soon as he got back home. He honestly needed to hear Taeyong’s voice and see his face, even if it was through the screen of his phone or laptop. Taeyong was primarily the reason behind Ten’s dreadful condition today, so maybe he’d also be the one to fix it. Who was Ten kidding, of course Taeyong could correct the tainted air about Ten. 

_22:56 Me: you up?_

_22:56_ _Yongie: yup_

_22:56_ _Yongie:_ _arent_ _you supposed to be out with friends?_

_22:56 Me: I didn’t feel well so I left_

_22:57_ _Yongie: oh_ _tennie_

_22:57_ _Yongie:_ _whats_ _wrong?_

_22:57_ _Yongie: anything serious?_

_22:57 Me:_ _its_ _nothing serious_

_22:57 Me:_ _im_ _just not in the mood for drinking_

_22:58_ _Yongie: that’s very unlike you_

_22:58_ _Yongie:_ _im_ _kidding_

_22:58 Me: can you call me?_

_22:58_ _Yongie: now?_

_22:59 Me: not yet_

_22:59 Me: when I get back home_

_22:59 Me:_ _ill_ _let you know when_

_22:59_ _Yongie:_ _sure_ _thing_ _tennie_

_23:00_ _Yongie: are you on your way home now?_

_23:00 Me: yeah_

_23:00 Me: called an uber, don’t worry_ _im_ _not driving_

_23:00_ _Yongie: I sure hope so_

_23:01 Me:_ _howd_ _your day go?_

_23:01_ _Yongie: fine_

_23:01_ _Yongie:_ _ill_ _tell you everything when I call, that sounds fine?_

_23:01 Me: yeah_

_23:01 Me: hear_ _ya_ _in a few_

The drive back didn’t take too long, probably because Ten zoned out through most of it. He was also too drunk and too tired to type anymore and he’d rather save up any remaining energy for his late-night call with Taeyong. 

He threw the keys to the apartment into the bowl by the entrance filled with various junk neither of them could be bothered to sort through. The doors clicked shut and Ten walked down the corridor, saddened ever so slightly by the lack of a greeting from Moon. She usually slept her days away so he wasn’t surprised, but still, he would really appreciate a warm welcome from someone, even if it was a cat and not an actual person. 

Ten dragged himself to the master bedroom, taking off his shirt, struggling as he tried to untuck it from his pants. He didn’t bother to put it away neatly, instead, he just threw it down on the ground for morning Ten to worry about. After doing the same for his jeans he collapsed on the bed, grumbling upon impact. His body went limp in a flash, the weight of the day finally taking a toll on Ten. 

_23:19 Me: m home_

_23:19 Tennie: roger that_

Seconds after Taeyong’s message Ten’s phone lit up with a call. The man swiped to answer, greeting Taeyong with a peevish expression and unusual angle. He could hear the older chortle at the sight. Ten must’ve looked dead, but at least he got to hear his boyfriend laugh. 

_“You look like death,”_ Taeyong pointed out, a humoured tinge to his words. _“You sure you’re up for this, Tennie?”_ The man’s concern made Ten feel better, not because he liked to cause worry for Taeyong, but because he craved after Taeyong’s attention. He just wanted his boyfriend to care about him. “ _Tennie?”_ The older repeated from the other side, afraid that the call wasn’t clear or lagging. 

“Yeah,” Ten finally replied, mustering up a smile. “I’m all good now,” he assured, fixing the positioning of himself and the camera. Laying on his stomach wouldn’t be comfortable for much longer so he dragged himself up to the top of the bed, sitting back against the headboard and placing a pillow on his lap he put his phone down, deeming everything fine now. “Much better.” 

Taeyong didn’t say anything for a few seconds, his eyes glued to the screen, a tender, loving smile across his face as he admired Ten. His large puppy dog eyes were practically sparkling with affection for the younger and Ten felt heat rush to his face, a bashful grin cracking across his features. The longer Taeyong observed, the more Ten felt like giggling. He truly felt like a teenager, struggling to contain their feelings, every time Taeyong looked at him. 

“ _So, how’s your day been? I bet it was fun,”_ the older finally spoke up, the same lovey-dovey smile adorning his face. 

Ten grabbed another pillow, hugging it tightly against his chest, pretending that it was Taeyong in his arms instead. “It was whatever,” he replied honestly, shrugging nonchalantly. “Kinda meh I guess. Even getting drunk wasn’t that fun.” 

_“Now that’s tragic,”_ Taeyong joked, his soft laugh barely audible through the phone. _“Are you sure you’re okay though? Something eating you up?”_

_Yeah, you’re not next to me, and you won’t be for the next month,_ is what Ten wanted to say but he couldn’t find the strength to do it. Quite frankly he didn’t have the energy to start another crying session that would get him nowhere in the end. So he just smiled. “Nothing important,” he lied. “But moving on from my boring day, how’d you spend yours? Beijing any fun this time of year?” 

Taeyong exhaled. From the look on his face he didn’t seem too thrilled. _“I mean, it’s just another city with skyscrapers. How fun can that really be? But it is pretty, especially at night. I’ll send you a picture of the view, it’s rather breath-taking.”_ Ten didn’t need pictures of city skylines when the view out of his window was probably the same as whatever Taeyong was going to show him. Still, he said nothing and nodded. _“I walked about though,”_ he continued, _“and I got something for you! I’ll send it tomorrow.”_

“Oh... you didn’t have to,” Ten assured. 

_“I know,”_ Taeyong admitted, _“but I wanted to. I have no impulse control when it comes to you – buying you things.”_ The man scratched the back of his neck, a flustered look to him. 

“The joys of money I guess,” Ten muttered to himself. “I guess I’ll keep an eye out for the package then. Did you eat?” The younger promptly changed the topic, not in the mood to discuss the nth gift from his boyfriend. “The answer better be yes or I’ll kick your sorry ass all the way from Seoul.” 

The older chuckled, the noise slightly distorted on his end. _“I assure you I ate. I know well enough not to worry you; I’ve felt your fury and rage enough times too know by now.”_

“That’s the right answer,” Ten praised. “You should be lucky you have me or you’d starve to death.” 

_“Said the one who hasn’t had a proper breakfast in a week,”_ Taeyong teased, smirking at Ten. _“How are you supposed to look after me if you’re just as bad?”_

“Don’t sass me Yongie,” Ten warned in a playful manner. “There’s nothing stopping me from flying to Beijing right now to fight you.” 

_“Challenge accepted. Want me to send you my location?”_

“You do that and I’m at your door in max three hours,” Ten said. He wasn’t joking around, if Taeyong did send him the location of his hotel he would book the soonest flight. He was that desperate. 

However, Taeyong didn’t say anything more, instead he burst into amused giggles. _“You’re truly something else Tennie,”_ he said with admiration. 

The rest of their call wasn’t eventful; there wasn’t much to talk about when all possible topics have been exhausted at this point. When each business meeting or outing with friends began to feel and sound the same there was no point in discussing the events that took place. Of course, Taeyong kept the conversation going, spotting that Ten wasn’t going to lead it like he usually tried to. 

Taeyong talked about the last city he was in before Beijing, describing London in great detail since Ten has never visited before. It was one of the places Ten would love to go to, even if it was another boring city like any other. At least it beat being stuck in Seoul for days and days on end. The older mentioned his trip to the M&M’s shop and how he spent hours amongst the sickly-sweet food. He even pulled out a cringey t-shirt with the red sweet’s face printed on. The sight of that atrocity earned a brief laugh from Ten who called the item _‘ugly beyond belief’_. Taeyong of course tried to justify his purchase, arguing that it had his charm. 

After that, Ten did chip in and mentioned a few things he saw and did when he went shopping. He let the older know about the few stray cats he saw on the way home and how he wanted to pet the animals but they all ran away whenever Ten put the shopping bags down. Taeyong teased him for it, laughing at the absurdity of the situation. 

Somewhere along the way, Ten’s mood turned for the better. Was it when Taeyong cracked a terrible joke? Or was it when the older got too hot and took his jumper off, knocking his phone down to the floor and crying out for the falling object, asking if Ten was hurt since he just fell down from the bed? Or maybe it was Taeyong sang along to the quiet song he played on his speaker as background noise? Whatever the reason, Ten felt better from talking to his boyfriend for what was soon to be two hours. Time truly did fly fast in the presence of the one you love. 

Ten loathed Taeyong for starting the next conversation. There was no way Taeyong was so oblivious as to why Ten was so irritable tonight, yet he still mentioned what Ten was dreading. _“I’ll be in Paris next week,”_ he stated, searching carefully for a response from Ten. A flinch wasn’t what he was expecting. He knew, Taeyong knew Ten didn’t want to hear about Taeyong’s further travels when he hasn’t stepped foot in Seoul for months. And he absolutely didn’t want to hear about Paris, the city of love, the place he has repeatedly told Taeyong he wanted to go together. 

“And?” Ten questioned, venom weaved into his voice. 

_“And?”_ Taeyong repeated confused. 

“What do you want me to say to that?” Ten retorted, louder this time. “Am I supposed to be happy?” 

_“I... I just thought you’d like to know,”_ Taeyong replied apologetically. _“I’m sorry if it hit a nerve, I didn’t mean for that.”_

“But it did!” As soon as Ten burst out, his frustration spilling out, he froze, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. He didn’t mean for that to slip out, he didn’t mean to get angry at Taeyong but he did, and now that that was out, he couldn’t contain the bubbling anger stirring deep within him. 

_“Ten I... I’m sorry,”_ Taeyong apologised again and again. He sighed, looking down. _“Yeah... I shouldn’t have brought that up. I’m sorry Tennie.”_

“I miss you,” Ten whined, interrupting any further words from leaving Taeyong’s beautiful lips, lips so far away from him. He clutched onto the pillow tightly, the dams behind his eyes threatening to overflow any minute now. He shut his eyes, struggling to look at Taeyong and his worry because that would have definitely been his breaking point. 

The older looked like he wanted to reach through the small screen separating them and cup Ten’s face, embracing him to rid the younger of all his sadness, however he couldn’t. And so Taeyong had to sit and watch idly as his boyfriend fought down the urge to fall apart, drunk and alone in a bed that’s felt too big for far too long. 

_“Tennie...”_ Taeyong called out softly. A part of Ten wanted him to keep going, to comfort him, but the other part wanted to snap at him and yell how it was his fault Ten was in the state he was in right now. In the end he settled for more silence, eyes avoiding the screen. _“I miss you too, more than you can imagine... I swear I’ll be back soon. I promise I will. And I’ll take you to Paris any time you want for however long you want. Okay? I’ll always come back to you. You_ _know_ _that, right?”_

Ten squeezed his eyes shut, forcing tears out to rid himself of a fraction of his heartache. He wiped away at his eyes and looked back up to the camera, thankful that his true state wasn’t as clear on video. Taeyong was still scanning Ten’s face and the younger couldn’t bare it. He’d much rather Taeyong look at him from the comfort of their shared bed where the older would be actually able to console Ten with real touches, real kisses and words which weren’t processed by a device. 

Ten was greedy, selfish, _hungry_ for the attention he’s been denied these past two months, and at this moment, he wanted Taeyong to feel his pain too because for some _goddamn_ reason, Taeyong never showed Ten his own weakness and that irked Ten to no end. For all he knew, Taeyong could be happily frolicking around the streets of whatever city he was currently in, thinking that the intense yearning Ten felt for him could be easily fixed with a few gifts and messages throughout the day. That wasn’t the case though. 

The younger shrugged. “I’m tired,” he said blankly. “I’m gonna go now. Goodnight.” 

_“Tennie-”_

Ten stared at the screen announcing their call had ended. He hated to end things on such a negative note, but today had taken such a negative toll on him and he didn’t want to deal with anything else before going to bed. 

He didn’t even bother washing off his makeup or getting into something fresh and clean to sleep in. 

*** 

_01:57_ _Yongie:_ _tennie_ _please_ _im_ _sorry about earlier_

_01:57_ _Yongie:_ _im_ _relly_ _sorry, please text me when you wake up_

_01:57_ _Yongie: you know I_ _cant_ _stand having you mad at me_

_01:57_ _Yongie: I love you_

_01:57_ _Yongie: I love you so much_ _tennie_

_01:57_ _Yongie: sleep well_

Ten stared at his phone, debating how he should reply. Option one: be genuine. Ten should probably finally air out the issues he’s been having the past couple of months that Taeyong’s been away. Option two: make an excuse. There was always the way of trying to reason his previous behaviour. He could simply blame it on the alcohol or on something that tipped him off edge earlier in the day. Finally, there was option three: laugh it off. Out of these, it was obvious which approach Ten should go for. 

_10:01 Me: sorry about last night_

_10:01 Me: I had a few drinks too many and started spewing nonsense_

_10:01 Me:_ _soz_

_10:01 Me: typical ten behaviour I guess_

_10:01 Me: love you too_

_10:01 Me: have fun or whatever_

_10:01 Me: that sounded harsh...._

_10:02 Me: just have a good day_

_10:02 Me:_ _ill_ _talk later_

_10:02 Me:_ _heres_ _my breakfast_

_10:02 Me: [image attached]_

_10:02 Me:_ _im_ _a natural in the kitchen_

Just because he knew which option was the right one to choose didn’t mean he was going to pick it. 

_10:03_ _Yongie: you sure???_

_10:03_ _Yongie: you seemed hurt_

_10:03_ _Yongie:_ _im_ _really sorry about this_ _tennie_

_10:03_ _Yongie: I know_ _its_ _hard being separated for so long_

_10:03_ _Yongie: trust me_ _tennie, I struggle too_

_10:04 Me: I know_

_10:04 Me:_ _lets_ _not make this a big deal okay?_

_10:04 Me: I was just drunk_

_10:04_ _Yongie: if you say so..._

_10:04_ _Yongie: but you know_ _ill_ _always listen_

_10:05 Me: I know_

_10:05 Me: I love you_

_10:05_ _Yongie: I love you more_

_10:05 Me: well I love you even more_

_10:05_ _Yongie: impossible_

_***_

Ten’s favourite spot in the gym was free, and so he rushed over to it as soon as he stepped into the large room filled with grunting, sweaty bodies. With a towel swung over his shoulder and a large bottle containing lemon and mint infused water, Ten walked speedily towards the corner of the room, his short legs moving at the speed of light. This specific spot was secluded, hidden away in the far crook, a mirror on one side and a grand tinted window onlooking the busy street on the other. It was fairly out of sight which Ten appreciated greatly, not really being too thrilled at the idea of someone approaching him and starting up a conversation. 

Satisfied, Ten threw his towel down on one of the seats besides the treadmill he intended to use first. He ran through his usual warm up routine, stretching every party of his body properly to avoid any aching later on. 

The man began to peacefully go through his periodic method, starting off on the treadmill with a relaxed jog. Gradually, he picked up his pace, moving onto a faster jog, then a run, and then for the final increment of his exercise he picked up the difficulty, tilting the machine on a slope to feel the burn as he continued on. By this point he drank majority of his water so he made a mental note to fill his bottle up before he heads on over to the next section of the gym. Luckily the water fountain was right by his next stop. 

Ten couldn’t help feel the unease as he neared the weightlifting area, empty bottle in hand and a towel around his neck. On any other day in any other place he would’ve basked in the attention he received, however a room packed to the brim with mostly buff, stinky men just didn’t tickle his fancy. 

Watching the water pour into his bottle, Ten huffed, rolling his head around. He stretched as always but his neck hurt. Lovely, just what he needed to start his day. He used his free hand to massage at his nape, letting out a pleased sigh after managing to rub the faint throb away. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Yuta said, repeating the exact same thing as he did last night in the same tone. Ten had to give it to him, he sure was consistent. “Looking a bit under the weather, aren’t ya Ten?” 

Said man looked up to Yuta with a jaded expression. “What are you doing here?” He asked, not entertaining Yuta with a response to his question. 

Yuta snorted. “Exercising- well, I was but I saw you, so here I am now. Happy to see me?” 

“Overjoyed,” Ten replied lifelessly. Water had begun to overflow from his bottle and onto his hand so he pulled away, sipping the access liquid before he put the lid on, tilting the bottle upside-down to ensure nothing would spill out. “Excuse me,” he said as he pushed past Yuta to walk to his next station. 

Yuta moved away, his eyes trailing after Ten. Just when Ten thought that Yuta left him be, he felt a hand firmly place itself on his shoulder. “Wait up,” Yuta called out, catching up with Ten with a brisk speed walk. “You sure move fast with those short legs of yours.” 

“What exactly are you after?” Ten asked. “Can’t you see I’m trying to do my own thing here?” 

“I can,” the other man admitted. “But I was hoping we could get to know each other.” 

Ten wheezed. “Now that’s funny,” he said, slowing down as he reached the free exercise equipment he was after in the first place. He placed his towel and water down, eyeing the seat to see if it was wiped down or if he had to do the gruelling task himself. Thankfully it was dry and so Ten could use it freely. He was about to get onto the abdominal bench when he noticed Yuta was still standing about. “Seriously,” he said, a tinge of annoyance but also some amusement interwoven into his words. “What’re you waiting for?” 

“I already told you,” the man stated, awkwardly folding his arms over his chest. “I hoped we could get to know each other, maybe become friends if you’re down for that.” 

Ten stared blankly at Yuta, raising his brow, a perplexed look plastered across his features. “I’m not” he announced. “Now if you don’t mind, you’re messing up my mojo.” 

Baffled, Yuta blinked a few times, mouth slightly agape. “Are you just not in the mood or are you always so bitchy?” 

Ten, already on the exercise equipment, did a few pull ups, feeling the pleasant rush at his core. “Both,” he simply stated. Talking as a whole came difficult from Ten’s current position, and considering he had no intentions of going any further with Yuta, he refused to say anything else. He didn’t have anything against Yuta really, but so far, the man has caught Ten’s attention only when he’s been feeling like utter crap for reasons he would much rather not have to explain to mister _‘I don’t discriminate’_. What a fucking joke! 

“Well that does explain the attitude,” Yuta mused despite Ten’s constant signals of ‘ _leave me alone’_ he made sure to project right at the intrusive man. “Seriously though, are you just gonna avoid me?” 

Ten grunted for his reply, doing another sit up. “That’s the plan,” he muttered under his breath, sweat already beading down his face. 

“Why though?” 

Groaning, Ten lay himself down, hating the awkward angle he was at. “Why do you care so much? You think that just because we- not even _we –_ talked last night that means we’re gonna be friends?” He stared, utterly bewildered by Yuta. 

The man shrugged, lips pursed out. “Basically, yeah.” Ten seriously couldn’t comprehend Yuta and whatever was going on in his head. They literally talked briefly once last night and the man was already acting clingy towards Ten, what the hell was his problem? Couldn’t he get the hint Ten wasn’t in the mood? Not yesterday and also not today. 

“Okay, look,” Yuta said rather desperately, “I kinda saw this as an opportunity and I know I’m probably being annoying but...” He seemed embarrassed which was strange considering how fine he seemed following Ten around. “My last gym partner is gone for the next two weeks and I was basically hoping you could spot me.” 

Ten completely stopped everything he was doing just so he could fully compute the words which just left Yuta’s mouth. “You want _me_ , to spot _you_?” Yuta nodded, causing Ten to burst out laughing. “Oh this is peak comedy, have you ever considered being a comedian?” 

“What’s so funny about it?” 

“I’m sorry but have you seen my arms?” Just to prove his point, Ten lifted his arms up, showing off the non-existent muscle mass – well, he did have something there but it was definitely not going to help Yuta with any weight lifting. “These measly stick things won’t be able to help you even if you got crushed. Sorry, but no can do. I’d recommend asking the actual body builders in here, I’m personally more of a cardio guy myself.” 

“Do you do yoga?” Yuta asked, speedily moving on from his previous request that didn’t go as he had intended. 

Ten heaved himself up twice before stopping again to answer Yuta. “Yes, but if you’re going to ask for lessons then I assure you there are actual certified instructors here. Why don’t you go ask them?” 

Yuta exhaled through his nose, becoming somewhat peeved by Ten’s unwillingness to give him the time of day. Ten admired Yuta’s dedication though, the man surely was determined to have Ten agree to his propositions. Unfortunately for Yuta though, Ten rarely opened himself up for building friendly relations with anyone; a few messy situations and stabs to the back have managed to repulse him to the point where his friends worry about his lack of faith in humanity. 

“I’m lonely,” Yuta explained, practically whining. 

“Lucky for you there are millions of other lonely people on Earth, I’m sure you’ll find someone willing to join you here,” Ten declared, offering Yuta a phony smile before he resumed his crunches, praying Yuta would just leave him alone. If Ten believed in a god he’d curse to the heavens because after minutes, Yuta was still standing about, watching Ten attentively. He sure was dedicated to relentlessly bugging Ten. That seemed to do the trick though, because he managed to crack Ten’s psyche and force the exercising man to groan in frustration. “Fine!” He yelled, giving up at last. “I’ll help you with the fucking yoga.” 

Pleased, Yuta beamed into the brightest smile Ten could possibly ever envision. Maybe if he wasn’t so infuriated, he would’ve admired the warmth and glee radiating off of Yuta, but right now he wanted to wipe that grin off his face, preferably with his fist. Was that a bit too much? Possibly. Did he care? Not really. 

*** 

Taeyong couldn’t concentrate at all today, his head out amongst the clouds. Fortunately, he didn’t have any meeting to attend today and so his disorientated state wasn’t much of a concern to him. He was able to mope around and overthink everything to his heart's content. And he was doing just that. The man barely slept during the night, beating himself over his stupidity whilst talking to Ten. He wasn’t dumb, he knew when he pulled a nerve, and that’s exactly what he did last night. It’s not like he intended to hurt Ten, far from it actually. However, now that he looks back at it, he should’ve just kept his mouth shut and never mentioned Paris in the first place, especially not on the same day he told Ten to wait another month until they could meet again. 

All he could do now was apologise and hope that Ten will like his gift, possibly lessening the severity of his riled-up state. Ten always did have a rather nasty temper when it came to being separated for a bit too long so Taeyong had perfected a fail proof method of getting Ten to calm down. Showering Ten with gifts was just one of the tactics to get Ten to forgive him. That’s why Taeyong found himself staring at his laptop, placing dozens of items into his virtual basket, ready to splurge thousands upon thousands on his boyfriend. 

*** 

Yuta was, for a lack of better words, absolutely pathetic at yoga, which satisfied Ten to no end. Now Ten could laugh at Yuta after the other man had bothered Ten for the past hour or so. It was a compensation of sorts. Out of mercy, Ten decided to start right at the basics, even if he was tempted to throw Yuta in the deep end and watch the man struggle to get a grasp on what the actual hell was happening. For now, Ten showed Yuta the downwards dog, the tree and the cobra. He couldn’t contain the boisterous laugh as Yuta got down into the latter of the three, his back arching and cracking. He kept huffing and puffing, desperate to get his lower body to fully touch the yoga mat. In the end he managed, but not without offering Ten great entertainment from his struggles. 

Other than Yuta’s occasional whimpers, groans and cries there was a pleasant silence between them. Ten was able to fully focus on himself and his body, slowly exhaling his negative emotions and replacing them with a calm and fresh attitude with every breath he took in. Maybe that’s what he needed in the end, not extensive workouts to sweat his rage and misery out. He’d never admit to it but he was glad Yuta asked him to do yoga with him, it really was doing him some good. 

Yuta, now in the downwards dog position, glanced over to Ten who was quite comfortably in the scorpion pose. The man couldn’t believe how easy Ten made it look, and with that his own form cracked, arms giving out and body abruptly meeting the ground with a loud thud. 

“Focus on yourself,” Ten said passively. “You’re not gonna get anywhere if you’re gonna concentrate on others.” 

The man heaved himself up from the floor, an unknown burn spreading through his limbs. He was flustered, thankful that Ten’s eyes were fixated on the spot directly in front of himself. “I just wanted to see.” 

“Well you did, and look where that got you.” 

Ten’s phone pinged and vibrated, lighting up with a new notification. Judging by the time, Ten guessed it was one of his friends asking to meet up. Or maybe it was Kun and Sicheng asking if he was okay after yesterday, though those two were most likely still passed out from all the drinks they had the night prior. They may drink like fish but they were absolutely terrible with dealing with hangovers. After one notification came another, and another, and Ten cursed at the onslaught of messages coming his way. 

“Your phone,” Yuta pointed out as if he couldn't tell Ten heard his phone too. 

“I know,” Ten replied, getting down from his position so that he could get his phone, check what was happening and then mute any further notifications. He walked over to where his towel, drink and phone were all placed, picking up the device he unlocked it with his fingerprint. To his surprise, the messages weren’t from his friends or even Taeyong; Ten was looking at notifications informing him of multiple deliveries to his address. He sighed knowingly, locking the phone and putting it back down, heading back to his yoga mat. 

“Who was that?” Yuta asked as if he had the right to pry into Ten’s private life. When Ten didn’t offer him a response he tried again, meddling even further into a topic he had absolutely no knowledge on. “Boyfriend? Is he spamming you?” 

“Shut up!” Ten exclaimed, agitated by Yuta’s questioning. Not only was he letting everyone within a short radius know he had a boyfriend, he was also causing Ten to get irritated for what was probably the hundredth time this week alone. That had to be a new record without a doubt. “Why do you have to be so fucking nosy? I didn’t ask for this,” the man uttered to himself, body buzzing with vexation. He attempted to resume his yoga routine but he struggled to calm himself enough to do anything properly. “Fuck this!” He stood up, having reached his limit for today. 

It looked like it was time to end today’s gym outing short. Puffing, he grabbed his towel and patted himself dry from the thin layer of sweat that had accumulated since the last time he wiped himself down. Next, he grabbed his bottle, taking a big gulp of the flavoured water, wincing at the burst of bitter liquid attacking his tongue. 

“You going?” Yuta asked, hastily pushing himself up from the floor to rush after the man walking away. He reached out to grab his shoulder, and as soon as he did that, he regretted it, feeling the radiating annoyance seeping through Ten’s skin. He took a cautious step back. 

Ten turned to look at him, a displeased aura to him. 

“Sorry,” Yuta apologised. He scratched at his nape, eyes warily fixated on the shorter man’s chin, avoiding the daggers in Ten’s eyes. “I’ve been a bit annoying, haven’t I?” 

“That’s an understatement,” Ten scoffed. “Please stop bugging me from now on. Can you do that?” Yuta nodded to Ten’s relief. “Good. I’m going now-” 

“-Before that,” Yuta interrupted Ten which was a dangerous and reckless move from him, however Ten didn’t yell at him yet so he was fine. For now at least. “How about I make up for it? You down for coffee? Or tea, or whatever? It’s a thank you for putting up with me and an apology for being so...” 

“Annoying? Nosy?” 

“Basically,” Yuta acknowledged, shooting an apologetic smile Ten’s way. “So... you down for that?” 

Was he? There really wasn’t a reason for Ten to agree, not after how much he’s been tormented with Yuta’s presence for what felt like a lifetime already. The taller man was obnoxious, loud and infuriating with how dedicated he was to get Ten to crack his composure. He knew exactly what to do to get under Ten’s skin without him even trying, which was impressive if not for the fact that it was absolutely insufferable. Yet the man had his charm, his weird, aggravating charm. His smile was captivating, and whenever he laughed his whole body would shake, his eyes forming up into a smile too. If Ten was in a better mood, he guessed he wouldn’t have minded being around Yuta as much. And because of that, Yuta was exactly the type of person Ten avoided with a ten-foot pole; people like Yuta could hurt you the most without even trying. You get too close, too fond, and they use you, stab you in the back and run away, and the only person to blame for letting that happen is yourself. 

Ten sighed. Hating himself, he slouched his shoulders, admitting defeat. “Fine,” he agreed to the proposition. “But only one drink, then I’m off.” 

“Perfect!” 

*** 

_13:01_ _Yongie: how you holding up_ _tennie??_

_13:01_ _Yongie: you should be done at the_ _gym_ _now right??_

_13:01 Me: I finished a bit earlier today_

_13:01_ _Yongie: how come?_

_13:02 Me:_ _im_ _grabbing a coffee with someone_

_13:02_ _Yongie: vague.... do I know them?_

_13:02 Me: no. He goes to my gym_

_13:02_ _Yongie: oh, why you going together?_

_13:03 Me:_ _hes_ _insufferable_

_13:03 Me: he kept bothering me and_ _hes_ _decided to apologise/thank me through the gift of a coffee_

_13:03 Me:_ _hes_ _giving me a headache honestly_

_13:04_ _Yongie: so dramatic_

_13:04_ _Yongie: it_ _cant_ _be that bad can it_

_13:04 Me:_ _wanna_ _bet on it?_

_13:04_ _Yongie:_ _im_ _sure_ _hes_ _not as bad as you want me to believe_

_13:04_ _Yongie: now, have_ _fun_ _baby_

_13:04_ _Yongie: I love you_

_13:04 Me: love you too_

_***_

Yuta carefully sipped at his coffee, careful as to not burn his tongue on the piping hot liquid. Their drinks arrived a few minutes ago and Ten was already halfway done with his green tea, wanting to end this meeting between them as soon as possible. He would’ve drunk everything in one go if it wasn’t so hot, plus that would be too cruel, even for his standards. In the short time which it took for them to get changed and walk over to the neared café, Ten learned way too many things about Yuta, the most important thing being how he completely overshares everything. Their brief encounter at the nightclub should’ve been the biggest hint since he was willing to talk about what happened to his friends even if Ten had no clue whatsoever who those people were. At the time he figured it was because of the alcohol, but no, Yuta did overshare. It’s like he had no shame. 

The man blew on his drink, cooling it down before taking another hesitant sip. The tension between the two was thick, the air suffocating with tension. The only time they exchanged glances or words since they stepped foot into the cosy café was when Yuta asked what Ten wanted to drink. Ten could have paid, but since it was Yuta’s treat, he went for his favourite tea and a slice of chocolate cake for later. Thinking about it now, maybe he should’ve gotten the sticky toffee cake instead... oh well. 

“So...” Yuta said warily, hoping to start a conversation. It was fascinating how much he could talk if he wanted, yet here he was, acting terrified of speaking to Ten as if the past two or so hours weren’t spent doing just that. “What do you do for a living? If you don’t mind me asking. Personally, I work in HR. Can’t say it’s fantastic, but I kinda like it. I like the aspect of talking to people on the daily, though I’m not too fond of all the paperwork.” The man looked up hopefully, checking if Ten would say anything or if he should fill the silence in by himself. 

“I don’t really work,” Ten admitted. “I mean, I do work, but I practically don’t if that makes sense?” 

“Something along the lines of self-employed or freelancer?” 

Ten shrugged. “I guess. More like... I bought a dance studio and let things work by themselves. I barely need to come in.” 

“Fascinating,” Yuta uttered in awe. Not only was he amazed by the revelation, he was also surprised Ten spoke somewhat in detail. “So you’re a dancer yourself or is it just something you like. Or was it just easier to open a dance studio, you know, with all the aspiring idols around?” 

“I danced,” Ten explained, looking at the greenish liquid in his mug. “I still do sometimes.” 

“You don’t sound too enthusiastic,” Yuta pointed out. “Something happened?” 

The other man frowned, looking briefly out the window, his hands clutching onto his drink. “It’s not the same as it used to be. I guess I haven’t been able to find the motivation to dance again.” 

“That’s a shame,” Yuta said sympathetically. “I hope you find some motivation soon.” The man gave Ten a kind, bright smile, bringing a faint sense of comfort and warmth to Ten, though that could also have been the tea taking effect. “What else do you do then? Like as a hobby? Surely you do more than coming to the gym and then going back home, right?” 

Did he? Going out drinking from time to time wasn’t much of a hobby, and that really was all he did in his spare time. His routine consisted of waking up, going to the gym, coming back, maybe going to the studio to check if everything was going well, and then he’d sit around all day unless he had to do the shopping or meet his friends. It was unpleasant to think about it really; his life felt bland and meaningless when he thought of his day to day routine which included no challenge and thrill. All he had was a mundane schedule he stuck to for consistency's sake. 

“I... honestly that’s pretty much everything,” Ten admitted, somewhat bitterly. Was his life really that boring? Surely not. Every time he would think of the past it would be so vibrant, so packed with colour and life. He surrounded himself with so many interesting people, individuals who showed Ten a new point of view on the world. There was always something to do, and even with his packed days, working multiple shifts to provide for himself and Taeyong, he’d have time to go out to parties, meet friends and go on dates, even if they consisted of Taeyong dragging Ten out of the house for a few minutes to get ice cream that they’d eat in the comfort of their shitty apartment. Now... well now things were different. Ten had so much free time on his hands yet he nor anyone could find the time to be together, and there was no such thing as a spontaneous outing or meet up. So, was his life boring? It most definitely was boring compared to the past. 

“Oh...” Yuta mumbled not expecting the short response. “What about umm... can I mention it? Your umm, _partner._ ” He tiptoed around the subject ever since Ten called him out for it at the gym. It was obvious it was a sensitive topic, however the reason as to why that was the case wasn’t as clear. “What does he do?” 

“He’s the CEO of his own company,” Ten stated with pride. No matter how much Ten hated how Taeyong’s job kept him away, how it took the older from him, he couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride at where Taeyong was in life. That’s what you do when you’re in love, even if it hurts. Ten still can perfectly see the older studying at university, carefully observing trends in stocks in the meantime in hopes of investing some savings to let them grow over time. Even though business school was tough and the only reason he was attending was thanks to a scholarship, Taeyong worked harder to achieve his dreams than anyone Ten has ever seen. Being just roommates at the time, Ten admired Taeyong and supported him, catching feelings somewhere in the middle of everything. 

“Oh damn! That’s impressive!” Yuta affirmed, sitting back in his seat, nodding. “That must be fun then,” he continued. “Like, no worries, right?” 

Ten wanted to nod, however he stopped himself. Was he really worry free? Well, all his bills were payed, he had more than the average person and he never had to worry about his bank account being empty. In that aspect, Ten could agree that he had no worries. However, he didn’t live worry free as his riches would suggest. Ten constantly worried about Taeyong; he feared about the older man’s safety when he was thousands on thousands of miles away; he panicked whenever Taeyong didn’t text, call, or reply back. Worst of his fears however was the fear of Taeyong finding someone better than Ten on the other side of the planet. He hated himself for ever thinking Taeyong would do such a thing, yet distance and constant separation played dirty tricks on the mind. One such trick was degrading one's sense of worth. What if Ten wasn’t good enough for Taeyong anymore? 

Yuta raised his brows, carefully observing the man sat in front of him. Ten had been awfully quiet since he asked the question, and at this point he feared he overstepped a boundry. “Are you... you okay?” 

Ten sighed, snapping out of his distracted state. He blinked a few times, shaking away the dark clouds looming over him, bringing all sorts of nasty images to mind. Yuta seemed concerned to say the least. He didn’t have to care so much, Ten was fine after all. 

“Of course I’m fine,” he snapped. “And to answer your question, I have worries like any other person. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you don’t ask about any more personal matters. You think you can do that?” 

Yuta nodded. He could tell Ten had a rather foul attitude, and the way he talked down at Yuta was condescending and annoying. Just when Yuta thought they were getting somewhere, Ten had to ruin it with his snarky, entitled demeanour. Despite all of that, Yuta wasn’t going to pick a fight. He was a better person than that, and he hoped that maybe Ten could learn something from him. The man just took another sip of his drink. So, the topic of his personal life and boyfriend were out of bounds... Yuta could work with that, even if Yuta had the biggest urge to just punch Ten for being such an asshole for practically the whole day. 

“Well then, what can we talk about?” Yuta asked, gently placing his hot mug down, sitting back in his seat, legs spread open with his hands resting on his muscly thighs. Ten’s eyes subconsciously glanced down, instantly looking up when he realised what he was doing. The other man offered a feigned innocent smile, somewhat cocky with his actions. Just what was going through his head completely boggled Ten. “Any pets?” 

Ten nodded, staring at his cup of tea. He could probably drown the remaining liquid with two large gulps if he felt like Yuta’s company was getting too much for him. “A cat,” he replied after a few second delay. Unlike Yuta, Ten briefly changed his position to be sat more upright. In his mind that made him seem more threatening, but in reality, it just amused Yuta. He was trying so hard to seem unapproachable, however Yuta could spot his cheap tricks from a mile away. 

“Cool,” Yuta said, nodding his head ever so slightly in approval. “I really like cats. They get a really bad reputation but they’re great,” he stated, quickly bringing his foot up to rest it on his other knee. He sure seemed comfortable, practically sinking into the seat. “They seem grumpy and cold at first but they’re so lovable when you get to know them. I remember my first cat; he was the cutest bobtail I’ve ever seen, he was all patchy and when he looked up at you he looked like he was smiling.” The man chuckled fondly. “But he was no saint, nope. Nori for some reason hated anything that was flowy, so he’d always scratch the curtains and anything else he deemed annoying. I still loved him though.” 

Another prefect example of Yuta oversharing. At least it was something Ten didn’t mind listening to. Pets were a safe topic, one that didn’t require opening up too much to anyone. “Mine’s called Moon,” Ten stated. “We got her three years ago. We thought she was a Russian blue but she’s a similar breed. She’s pretty lazy if I’m being honest. She usually lazes around with me when I’m home.” 

“That’s majority of cats for you,” Yuta joked. “They’re either constantly buzzing with energy or they sleep for days on end. Either way they’re absolutely lovable.” 

Ten hummed in agreement. “I guess you’re right about that.” 

“I’m always right about cats.” 

Surprisingly, Ten didn’t touch his tea after that. Instead, he talked to Yuta about rather meaningless yet entertaining things. The men debated the very controversial topic of DC versus Marvel, which then led them to arguing over the best avenger; Yuta insisted it was Iron Man, however Ten disputed him, stating Thor was the true star of the franchise. That led Ten to whining how Endgame ruined Thor’s character, because it really did, which led Yuta to whine further on as he complained how Black Widow deserved better. Further on they moved onto books, then music, and soon enough the sky turned pink and orange in hue. Hours passed without Ten even realising. 

Ten hated to admit it but he was having fun, so when Yuta announced he had to head home he was somewhat disappointed. Yuta heaved himself up, groaning when he felt just how sore his body was from sitting down so long. He stretched, his arms straight above his head, his loose plain white t-shirt rode up, exposing a slither of toned chest. 

“Well then,” the standing man started, smiling at Ten with a relatively goofy grin. “My time has come. Thanks for hanging out with me, even if you were a bit bitchy at the start. I had fun.” 

“It was okay,” Ten shrugged. He reached out for his drink, howbeit the tea was cold and too bitter to finish. He placed the cup back down, pushing it to the centre of the small table for the staff to clean up after he’s left. “Maybe you’re more than just a pain in the ass.” 

“Happy to hear.” Yuta threw his denim jacket on, fixing the floppy collar to look presentable to the world. He ruffled his hair, bringing some lift to the flattened mop of black. “I’ll get going now. See you at the gym? Same time tomorrow?” 

“I can’t make any promises,” Ten stated. “But yeah, see you.” 

With that, Yuta left the café. Ten stared at the empty seat facing him. He felt warmth throughout his whole body, and that wasn’t a good sign. Not at all. 

*** 

Ten shut the door to his apartment, placing down the pile of parcels he just picked up from the reception. He sighed, taking his jacket off before reaching out for the items again, hauling them up to the master bedroom where he carefully placed them on the bed, avoiding the spot Moon was currently spread across, her grey coat blending into the bedsheets. 

“What do we have here then,” Ten muttered to himself, looking over the pile. Taeyong really went overboard this time, but at this point Ten shouldn’t be surprised. Each apology was bigger than the other. Was it because Taeyong was just that sorry, or was it because he hoped the gifts would lessen the problem? Ten wasn’t sure really. 

Nevertheless, Taeyong managed to buy him over this time. The glistening jewels and the designer clothes satisfied Ten’s need to be spoiled. Maybe he kept whining and complaining how much he hated having Taeyong buy him so many new materialistic goods, however he always felt like royalty when he got to open up the packages, draping himself in silks and covering his hands in shining diamonds. Taeyong probably knew that very well, which is exactly why he kept buying Ten everything he knew he loved, price tag be dammed. 

*** 

Taeyong scrolled through his phone, his laptop placed on the bedside table playing a movie on Netflix. He wasn’t really paying attention to what was happening, and he really didn’t need to since he’s already watched it with Ten. Plus, watching films all alone was no fun. Once you experience movie night wrapped up in your lovers embrace then even the most astounding feature in the universe seems bland without the warmth of another body pressed against you. 

The man was busying himself by looking at all the images in his camera roll. He could have opened up Twitter or Instagram, however he wasn’t interested in looking through the lives of others at this moment in time. Instead, he wanted to see Ten, but he didn’t want to disrupt the man. Apparently, the outing with his gym buddy turned out well, however he was feeling sick when Taeyong messaged him in the morning. So, for now, he’d let his boyfriend rest. 

And so, he looked, a wide grin plastered across his face as photos of him and Ten took over the screen. There was practically everything on his phone; birthdays, dates, lazy days spent lounging in the apartment, Taeyong had them all stored on his device. Whenever he was bored, or feeling lonely, Taeyong would look at these images to remind himself he had someone waiting for him back home, someone who loved him just as much as he loved them. It definitely made long journeys less painful, knowing that he could go back to a place and time where everything was good, all with a few swipes and clicks on his phone. 

Taeyong had a specific folder for the pictures Ten has sent whilst Taeyong has been away, and another one for pictures Taeyong personally took. Those were the pictures he loved the most, purely because within them he could see the real Ten, not the one who spent a few minutes trying to find the right pose, the right angle and right filter for his photo. He loved the genuine smiles that were reserved just for Taeyong, nobody else. He adored the blurry images as Ten was moving around, so natural and carefree. He could stare at these pictures forever, but luckily, he didn’t have to. 

Mark – Taeyong's assistant – informed the CEO about the dates he would be free in the upcoming month. After New York and Paris, Taeyong had one last meeting in Tokyo, and after that he would be free. He didn’t know for how long, but he knew that he was going to spend every moment back in Seoul with his boyfriend. He was even planning on booking tickets for the both of them to fly to Paris together, and if everything fell perfectly into place, they may be able to spend their anniversary in the city of love, just like he knew Ten always wanted. 

He wasn’t going to tell Ten anything yet, mostly because he didn’t want to bring Ten’s hopes up, only to disappoint him if something didn’t go according to plan. For all he knew, Mark might tell him Taeyong has an emergency or last-minute meeting and everything Taeyong promised would become nothing but empty words which is something what Taeyong would much rather avoid, especially with the amount of disappointments he has offered Ten this year alone. 

Shaking the thought off, Taeyong turned back to his screen, picking out his favourite folder to look through. The last picture in the file was from Taeyong’s last stay in Seoul. It was their last date before Taeyong had to leave and board yet another plane for yet another business trip, one that was going on for way too long for his liking. Ten was leaning against the railing separating himself from land and the Han river. After a pleasant meal and day out at Namsan, Ten took Taeyong’s hand and led him in every which direction, taking the older to places he was surprised to find he didn’t know existed. The river was their last stop of the night and despite being really tired, they spent maybe an hour just walking alongside the river until they finally began heading home. 

Ten looked even better than Taeyong remembered; he wore a simple white Louis Vuitton t-shirt with a black form fitting Versace blazer, hugging his waist just right, reminding Taeyong just how exquisite Ten’s figure was. And even with all the jewels which adorned him, Ten was the most dazzling and breath-taking diamond in Taeyong’s eyes. Each one of his smiles could outshine all the stars in the galaxy and Taeyong was blessed to be the only one who could receive those loving looks. They’ve stayed the same over the years – his smiles and warm eyes that is – and Taeyong was ready to have Ten look at him like that for the rest of their lives. That was the plan really; once Taeyong settled in with his new business and made it so he could work without leaving Ten, he was planning on finally making it official. Maybe Ten had plenty of rings, but he didn’t have an engagement one, not yet. 

Taeyong’s face burned up at the thought, a giddy smile making its way across his features. He has been thinking about this for the longest time now. Back in their uni days, Taeyong fell into multiple slumps as he struggled to get his new business venture up and running and, at times, the only thing that made him think that everything would be okay if things didn’t turn out as planned was Ten. The two had been through thick and thin together, right from the moment when Ten walked into their shared dorm room, up until now. 

They built each other up when everything the other wanted to do was give up and admit defeat. They made each other’s days just that bit brighter, whether it was a horrendous joke, a tight and caring embrace, or a simple ‘ _it’s_ _gonna_ _be fine_ ’, it made the difficult and harsh days bearable to live through. Ten was there for Taeyong when the older was coming to terms with who he was; he was there to help Taeyong with absolutely everything, be it revising for an exam or listening to Taeyong whilst he read through his assessment to make sure he didn’t make any silly mistakes. Ten was there for everything, and Taeyong hoped he was also there for Ten. And if he wasn’t, Taeyong wanted to make sure that from now on he was. In the end, isn’t that what marriage is all about? Isn’t it a promise to always be there for your partner, for the rest of your lives? 

Nevertheless, they still had a bit to go before Taeyong would pop the question. Not because it was too early, for crying out loud they’ve been together for six years at this point. Taeyong just needed to sort out his business before he made any promises. Maybe that would be all done by the end of the year as he wished. After all, this outing was to find suitable investors to take a share in the company, easing Taeyong and his role as the sole CEO. The man made sure to only accept meetings with CEO’s and investors he knew were capable of running a company and who wouldn’t stab Taeyong in the back later on down the line (though one could never be sure about that, especially when large sums of money and power were in the picture). 

For now, Taeyong hasn’t told Ten the exact reason for his long trip, mostly because, once again, he didn’t want to build the man’s hopes up. Taeyong wouldn’t mention selling off a fraction of the company until he was a hundred percent sure it was going to happen. Maybe it was a sneaky thing to do, but Taeyong didn’t want to worry Ten with the business, the younger had enough on his plate to stress over Taeyong’s decisions. After all, Ten had his own business to look after, granted it didn’t require as much attention as a multi-million dollar organisation, but it was a business nonetheless. Taeyong remembers the whole process of getting the dance studio and how elated Ten was to make his passion into something that could also bring in income. 

The studio, now a popular destination amongst youth looking for a place to practice as company trainees or aspiring dancers and idols, used to be a shabby run-down building which used to hold a small convenience store at the bottom and a small flat on the top floor. The two men managed to buy it for cheap which was a surprise considering the street it was located on. However, when it came to redecorating, they clearly understood why the price was so low. They had to practically tear the whole building down, replacing crumbling walls and ceilings, creaky floors and cardboard thin walls. It took a while, but the outcome was worth it. There were four practice rooms: one large at the bottom used for group classes, two private rooms downstairs and another private room up on the second floor. The rest of the top floor was used as an office and staff room for the instructors, receptionist and the people working in the office. 

Taeyong was so proud when they opened the studio up. This was something he and Ten worked on together, something they made and something they shared. Just like Ten had watched Taeyong’s dream and passion grow, so did Taeyong see Ten’s vision come to life. 

Speaking of the dance studio, Taeyong scrolled past the photos of Ten at the building. He knew the younger wasn’t involved with the business as much as he used to be, mostly because Ten fell into a spiral of self-doubt a year or so ago, leading him to struggle to dance the way he used to. However, on this day, Ten felt the urge to go to the studio and he took Taeyong with him. They both observed a group class going on, and after a few minutes of watching on the side-lines, Ten joined in. Taeyong couldn’t be any happier seeing his boyfriend dancing and moving around like absolutely nothing happened to him. Ten even dragged Taeyong to dance, cheering the man on alongside the class. 

Maybe it wasn’t much, but that was probably the best day Taeyong has had in a very long time. He couldn’t forget the blinding smile on the younger’s face, or the light-hearted laughter which Ten had graced everyone’s ears with. He also couldn’t forget the delicate loving touches after they got home; the fluttering kisses that were so faint it was difficult to realise they were there in the first place. Ten held onto Taeyong for dear life as they stumbled from one room to another, desperate to reach the bedroom because ‘ _there’s no way I’m_ _gonna_ _let you do this on the couch, not this time’._ That, without a doubt, was one of Taeyong’s fondest memories from that year. Taeyong wanted more days like that, and that turned to be his motivation for the next weeks to come. 

For now, as Taeyong lay in bed, all he could do was wish. 

*** 

_13:21 Me: oh god I think the tea and cake were poisoned_

_13:21 Me: I feel like absolute shit, I didn’t even go to the gym today_

_13:22_ _Yongie: oh no_

_13:22_ _Yongie: that’s not good_

_13:22_ _Yongie: have you had any medicine yet??_

_13:22_ _Yongie: everything should be in the first aid cupboard_

_13:23 Me: I took something_

_13:23 Me: it said its good for digestive problems_

_13:23 Me: maybe it’s a flu or something_

_13:23_ _Yongie: oh baby_

_13:23_ _Yongie: brew yourself a nice herbal tea as well, don’t forget to add a lot of ginger, mint as well_

_13:23 Me: I know_

_13:23_ _Yongie: : (_

_13:24_ _Yongie: I wish I could just wrap you up in a dozen blankets and cuddle you and not let you go until you feel better_

_13:24 Me: what would that do_

_13:24 Me: id overheat and die_

_13:24_ _Yongie:_ _youd_ _sweat it all out_

_13:24 Me: that’s a very sadistic way of going around it_

_13:24_ _Yongie: could work though_

_13:24 Me: it could...._

_13:24 Me: but I know another way to sweat this fever_ _out ;_ _)_

_13:24 Me: you down_ _pretty_ _boy?_

_13:25_ _Yongie: …. not surprised_

_13:25_ _Yongie: but yes,_ _im_ _down_

_13:25_ _Yongie: if you feel fine you can call me_

_13:25_ _Yongie: text me first because I have no idea where_ _mark_ _is taking me today_

_13:25 Me: he better not_ _steal_ _you away_

_13:24 Me:_ _youre_ _mine_

_13:25_ _Yongie: yes baby_

_13:25_ _Yongie:_ _im_ _yours_

*** 

“A slice of cake defeated you?” Yuta questioned, trying his hardest to suppress the laugh building up at the absurdity of Ten’s excuse. He avoided the side glare coming from Ten who was currently running on the treadmill. “It was so quiet without you,” he added, hoping that would force his building laughter down. Ten looked as miffed as on their prior meeting at the gym so Yuta would much rather not annoy the short man even more, though it was rather entertaining to see him get riled up. 

“It was quiet without you too,” Ten declared, letting out a defeated sigh. “How I miss that silence,” he muttered. Maybe Ten was sick for the majority of the day but at least he wasn’t constantly being pestered by Yuta. “I was at peace.” 

“Oh come on, I’m not that bad,” Yuta argued. “If anything, you’re the worse one out of us.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You’re so grumpy,” Yuta stated. “You’re practically unbearable to be around. It honestly baffles me how you even have friends, let alone a partner.” It was blatantly obvious Yuta had managed to aggravate Ten; the shorter man had clenched his jaw and eyes fixed on the changing numbers on his workout equipment. It had to be said though, it was harsh and maybe uncalled for, but Yuta wasn’t going to let Ten act all high and mighty when he himself was a difficult character to be around. “But I can tell you’re not actually an asshole,” he continued. “Deep down, I know you have a heart.” 

“Well no shit, everyone has a heart,” Ten pointed out, his level of anger slowly dispersing. Yuta chuckled, nodding his head in agreement. 

“You’re right about that.” 

Surprisingly, the two men were able to exercise for the next half an hour or so without exchanging any further words or jabs, solely focusing on moving their legs along the moving belt and not making a fool out of themselves by tripping up. Ten was able to complete the first part of his routine in peace, not getting disrupted by Yuta who was in his own world, running and running, faster and faster, tilting the machine on an incline that caused Ten’s thighs and calves to burn from merely looking at it. Yuta was clearly a more athletic person than Ten, but at least Ten was better at yoga, and probably dance, so he wasn’t going to end up comparing himself with Yuta. 

Ten got off from the machine, throwing his towel over his shoulder and grabbing his water bottle. He had enough of running for today, so now it was time for a more focused workout. Ten offered Yuta a slight nod as he was leaving their spot, receiving a bright and tired smile from the other man followed up with a thumbs up in Ten’s general direction. “See ya around,” Yuta managed to say between his ragged breaths. 

“I guess,” Ten replied before heading over to the next stop on his tour around the gym. He found himself by the abdominal bench, carefully placing his items down beside the machine. It was strange, but Ten expected Yuta to appear and start talking to him again whilst Ten was in the middle of doing his ab exercise. The man didn’t show up though, so Ten continued as usual, ignoring any thoughts he had about the man. 

Even when he wasn’t present, Yuta was somehow able to get on Ten’s nerves. It was absolutely fascinating how he managed to get inside Ten’s head despite only meeting this week. Now that’s what you call insufferable. 

Pushing the image of Yuta away, Ten focused on something – someone – else. Last night, after Ten was able to get himself in a decent state, drinking probably three plus litres of herbal tea and stomach medicine, Ten washed up and called Taeyong who luckily picked up instantly. The reason for why Ten was calling was clear from their prior messages, but even knowing that Taeyong asked Ten how he was feeling, did he rest well, did he eat something nice, and if Ten managed to spend his day well despite knowing Ten probably didn’t from his hourly text message updates. The constant care from the older made Ten forget for a while why he was even calling, and the longer they talked the more the reason for the late-night call loomed over them. 

Taeyong asked if Ten received his gifts and Ten answered that he did, raising his hand up to the camera lens to show off the new ring on his finger. Ten told Taeyong how much he loved the items even though a part of him was annoyed that Taeyong’s reason for even buying them in the first place was to make Ten forget about the distance between them, the long two months which they have been separated for. 

Still, his frustration faded out instantaneously as he saw the pleased, genuine smile on Taeyong’s face. The older pointed out how the citrine gem on the ring suited Ten, how it made Ten’s eyes stand out even though it was only a ring (a pretty and expensive ring). Ten couldn’t deny that Taeyong had a way with words, more often than not knowing exactly what to say to Ten to make him swoon, and this was one of these instances where Taeyong’s well spoken, earnest compliments caused Ten’s face to flush a deep red. This was exactly what he needed: attention. Ten desired to be in the centre of Taeyong’s attention and care, and whilst gifts were an attempt of showing Ten care, words were much more. 

Words and actions meant so much more. And that’s exactly what Ten got last night. 

Maybe thinking about it in a public space wasn’t a good idea, but there was something magical about phone – well, laptop – sex. Yes, it wasn’t as good as the real thing, the sensation of Taeyong’s hot skin brushing against him, body writhing in extasy, blunt nails dragging down expanses of bare skin, creating paths of pleasure and pain. The feeling of wet, sloppy, heated kisses and wandering hands may never be replaced, but long-distance sex was an experience in itself. 

Last night, just like any other night apart, Ten leaned against the headrest of the bed, covers off him since the summer heat was still enough for him. He had the laptop resting on a pillow on his lap, the camera shooting everything chest up, but they both knew that would change as the night went on. Surprisingly, it took longer than expected to get to the point. Yes, Ten wanted to talk to his boyfriend, he wanted to know how he was doing and he wanted the older to pay attention to him, but Ten had a plan already and he wasn’t going to let it not happen. 

Taeyong laughed at Ten’s eagerness, finding the younger man endearing when he said that he had enough of the _chit chat_ and that they should get to the good part. The older didn’t complain, agreeing as soon as Ten suggested they move onto the highlight of the night – not that talking to each other wasn’t a highlight, it’s just that Ten’s mind was set on another thing. 

Ten lowered the laptop, positioning it in such a way that practically his whole body was visible for Taeyong and Taeyong’s eyes only. The older did the same, following in Ten’s footsteps, just as he usually did in the bedroom. Taeyong may have been the one in control of a large part of their lives, such as finances and other expenses, however, when it came to intimacy, Ten took the reins. Taeyong was submissive to Ten’s words and touch, becoming mouldable putty underneath Ten. Oh how much the younger loved this. He loved all the attention Taeyong gave him as he begged for more, as he dug his nails into Ten’s skin and cried out in pleasure, soft yet lewd noises such as whimpers and mewls coming out from the older right against Ten’s ears, only for him to hear. Of course, with the distance between them, Ten was denied the satisfaction of Taeyong’s body beneath him, his heat and his desperate touch. He could make this work though; he’s done it before. 

It felt good to finally have a gratifying release after what felt like years, even though it was probably two or three weeks since they last did this. That was quite some time, especially since when they were both together, a week without having sex at least once was practically unheard of. Who could blame them though, it’s such an enjoyable thing to do, plus, you never know when Taeyong might be away again so you have to make each moment count. They made their last night together count for sure, so much so that Taeyong had sent multiple messages the next day on his journey about how everything ached. Ten was proud of that, notably he was proud of all the marks he left on Taeyong’s pale flesh. He made Taeyong his piece of art, using his body like a canvas, painting him with purple, red and white. What a shame he wasn’t able to do that now. He wondered what masterpiece he would’ve created if he had the chance. 

The man grunted, doing another crunch. His mind was beginning to wander and that was dangerous in his current situation. He couldn’t risk getting hard in a public space, now that would be embarrassing beyond belief. But how could he just forget last night like that? How could he just push aside the sinful moan coming from deep within Taeyong as he was desperately fucking himself, putting on a show for Ten to enjoy, a show which he very much delighted in. Ten had those needy noises bouncing around in his mind ever since he woke up, and the only way he was able to stop himself from going crazy was by listening to music, hoping that after a while those whimpers would leave him alone. They did, for a while, until Ten decided to think about last night and bring up that glorious, unholy memory. 

Now that it resurfaced, it was getting harder for Ten to work out without problems arising. Literally. With every pull up he did, the more he thought about Taeyong and the way he moved, the way he kept repeating Ten’s name like a prayer, fingers working inside him. How Ten wished he could've been there to help Taeyong out, to fuck him into oblivion and to remind him of what he was missing being so far away. But then again, this was a good reminder. Taeyong’s fingers weren’t Ten, and the voice coming through the speakers wasn’t the real thing. Looking at it now, it was somewhat sadistic denying them of physical contact when they craved it the most. 

Ten’s breathing was shallow now, his body burning up from the inside, a warning sign. If he didn’t cut out the trip down memory lane right now, he was going to regret it later. That’s why the man decided to end his exercise short today, rapidly standing up and picking his belongings up, catching the eyes of some of the gym goers, including Yuta’s. He needed to get away from people as soon as he could or else he was going to find himself in a sticky situation. 

*** 

_12:15 Tennie: not to sound cheesy but I keep thinking about you_

_12:15 Me:_ _awww_ _baby, I_ _cant_ _stop thinking about you either_

_12:15 Tennie: underneath me_

_12:15 Tennie: writhing under my touch_

_12:15 Tennie: moaning and beginning me to fuck you harder_

_12:16 Me:_ _tennie..._

_12:16 Tennie: are you in a meeting?_

_12:16 Tennie: somewhere public? Because I just ran out of the gym because of this_

_12:16 Me: babe,_ _im_ _at a very important persons office_

_12:16 Tennie:_ _so_ _you do have a meeting..._ _I thought you had a plane to catch_

_12:16 Me:_ _that’s later_

_12:16 Tennie: at this point I don’t know_ _whats_ _going on at your end which fucking sucks but that doesn’t matter right now because I keep thinking of last night_

_12:16 Tennie: I got so used to us fucking that this_ _wack_ _off_ _session_ _thing once every month_ _isnt_ _gonna_ _cut it for me_

_12:17 Me:_ _youre_ _an absolute disaster babe_

_12:17 Tennie:_ _weve_ _been together 6 years_ _yongie, you should know that much by now_

_12:17 Me: I know_

_12:17 Me: I actually love it when_ _youre_ _a mess_

_12:17 Me: its endearing_

_12:17 Tennie: glad my pain can offer you some entertainment_

_12:18 Me:_ _youre_ _so cute_

_12:18 Me:_ _you_ _lovable mess_

_12:18 Me: id literally do anything for you_

_12:18 Tennie: now_ _im_ _horny AND emotional_

_12:18 Me: I can help you if you want_

_12:18 Tennie:_ _arent_ _you at the office???_

_12:18 Tennie: of someone important nonetheless_

_12:19 Me: well..._ _youre_ _more important to me_

_12:19 Me:_ _plus_ _this could be fun_

_12:19 Me: very thrilling_

_12:19 Tennie: I always knew you were kinky and freaky, but I never pinned you for the doing it in public kind_

_12:19 Me: people text on the daily babe_

_12:19 Me: though doing it in public does sound tempting....._

_12:19 Me:_ _lets_ _try that sometime soon_

_12:19 Tennie: as I said: kinky_

_12:20 Me: you know what this reminds me of?_

_12:20 Tennie: do enlighten me_

_12:20 Me: remember during one of_ _doyoungs_ _parties when we were in different parts of the building?_

_12:20 Tennie: oh god_

_12:20 Tennie: when you accidently sent me my own nude?_

_12:20 Me:_ _sajksdhj_

_12:20 Me: yeah_

_12:20 Me: fuck that was great_

_12:21 Tennie: I see no correlation_

_12:21 Me: sexy messages in public that’s the correlation_

_12:21 Me: btw where are you now?_

_12:21 Tennie: car_

_12:21 Tennie: not driving don’t worry_

_12:21 Tennie:_ _im_ _a disaster but I don’t text and drive_

_12:21 Me: my responsible_ _tennie_

_12:21 Me: what a role model_

_12:21 Me: what a good guy_

_12:22 Tennie: are you joking around right now?_

_12:22 Me:_ _kinda_

_12:22 Me: I just don’t know what to say_

_12:22 Me: what am I supposed to say?????_

_12:22 Tennie: how about I take the lead babe_

_12:22 Me: please do_

_12:23 Tennie: fuck_ _taeyong, I_ _cant_ _get the picture of you stretching yourself, preparing for me out of my mind_

_12:23 Tennie: I wanted to touch you so bad last night, I wanted to feel your muscles spasm from my touch and I wanted to make you make that fucking beautiful moan by myself_

_12:23 Tennie: you wouldn’t have to use your hands at all,_ _id_ _do everything for you baby_

_12:23 Tennie: id undress you so quickly, touching your hot body all over whilst_ _im_ _still dressed because I know how much you love it when_ _im_ _in control_

_12:23 Tennie: my hands would roam your bare torso, id make you shiver under my touch, id have you whimpering from my hands alone_

_12:24 Tennie:_ _youd_ _be only thinking of me, thinking of how it's me_ _whos_ _making you into a whimpering mess, you_ _wont_ _look away from me and my body for even a second as I kiss you all over_

_12:24 Me: oh fuck_

_12:24 Me:_ _tennie_ _I wanted your body over me so much_

_12:24 Me: I wanted you to make me scream so bad, my fingers_ _werent_ _enough, it didn’t feel as good_ _baby_

_12:25 Me: I want you to fuck me right now, right here_

_12:25 Me: god_ _ive_ _been thinking about your touch ever since I left, I don’t know how_ _ive_ _lasted as long as I have without you in every fucking possible way_

_12:25 Me: I miss everything about you_ _tennie_

_12:25 Me:_ _im_ _going crazy without you_

_12:26 Tennie: same here_ _yongie_

_12:26 Tennie:_ _youre_ _so far away I don’t know what to do with myself_

_12:26 Tennie: literally everything I do, every thought comes back to you baby_

_12:26 Tennie: I need you here_ _yongie_

_12:26 Tennie: I need your heat under me_

_12:27 Me: fuck yeah_

_12:27 Me: climb me and fucking take me right now, please_ _tennie_ _I need it so bad_

_12:27 Me:_ _im_ _fucking dying here all alone without you baby_

_12:27 Me: I_ _cant_ _stand not having you with me_

_12:27 Tennie: I need you here too babe_

_12:27 Tennie: the bed feels so empty without you_

_12:28 Me: I_ _cant_ _sleep without you_

_12:28 Me: none of these beds feel like home if_ _youre_ _not laying besides me_

_12:28 Me: I need you so fucking bad_ _tennie_

_12:28 Tennie:_ _i_ _need you too_ _yongie_

_12:28 Tennie: you have no fucking clue how much I need you_

_12:29 Me:_ _jesus_ _tennie_ _I wish I was with you right now_

_12:29 Me: all these fucking business trips are_ _gonna_ _kill me_

_12:29 Me: I just want you_

_12:29_ _Tennie:_ _I wish you never left, that you never had to go in the first place, just like when we were young_

_12:29_ _Tennie:_ _I need you all for myself_

_12:29 Tennie: I’m so greedy_ _yongie, so fucking greedy and needy and I_ _cant_ _bear this_

_12:29 Me: ten..._

_12:29 Tennie: I hate that I_ _cant_ _have you next to me_

_12:30 Me:_ _tennie, baby_

_12:30 Me: trust me when I say that I don’t like this either_

_12:30 Me:_ _theres_ _nothing more I want than to be with you at home, cuddled up in bed with not a single care in the world_

_12:30 Me: and I promise that that will happen soon, just please give me some time_

_12:30 Tennie: just how long do I have to wait_

_12:30 Tennie: how much longer am I supposed to wait for you to come back home_

_12:30 Tennie: because I love you the most in the world but sometimes this just feels like a cruel joke_

_12:30 Tennie: this city feels like a prison without you_

_12:30 Tennie: I have nothing to do, nowhere to go, nobody to be with if you’re not here with me_

_12:31 Me: I know baby, trust me I know, I feel the same everyday_

_12:31 Me: just please wait a little longer_

_12:31 Me:_ _im_ _doing all this for you, for us_

_12:31 Me: and I swear_ _im_ _gonna_ _make up for all this time_

_12:31 Me: trust me, soon_ _youll_ _have me all to yourself_

_12:31 Tennie: you swear?_

_12:31 Me: cross my heart and hope to die_

_12:31 Tennie: …_

_12:31 Tennie: I love you_

_12:32 Me: I love you too_

_12:32 Tennie: I love you more_

_12:32 Me: impossible_

_12:32 Me: well, I take it the mood has vanished now_

_12:32 Tennie: yeah...._

_12:32 Me: maybe for the best, I have a meeting in 5 minutes and we wouldn’t want me,_ _yknow_

_12:32 Tennie: could be funny really_

_12:32 Me: well_ _arent_ _you a cute little sadist_

_12:32 Tennie: your little sadist, and you know you love it_

_12:33 Me: I guess I do_

_12:33 Me: you know me so well_

_12:33 Tennie: I sure hope so, what boyfriend would I be if I didn’t know all your kinks_

_12:33 Me: a boring one_

_12:33 Me: how about we talk later? Marks calling for me and you know how he gets when I don’t listen to him_

_12:33 Tennie: I_ _cant_ _believe_ _hes_ _stealing you from me >: ( _

_12:33 Tennie: but okay,_ _ill_ _talk to you later_ _yongie_

_12:34 Tennie: and take on your flight_

_12:34 Me: I will_

_12:34 Me: and how about you go out with your friends_

_12:34 Me: it could do you some good_

_12:34 Tennie:_ _ill_ _try_

_12:34 Me: I love you so much ten_

_12:34 Tennie: I love you too_

*** 

Ten took Taeyong’s advice. He found himself putting in an effort to look good to go hit the town with Sicheng and Kun despite the air around them still being somewhat awkward. Granted, it was Ten’s own doing and knowing him he’ll just hope that his friends will forget anything ever happened, after all, they didn’t actually do anything other than tease Ten and make a harmless joke which Ten took too seriously. Though, it’s not like he didn’t have a reason to get ticked off, he had just found out about Taeyong being away for even longer than Ten was prepared for in the first place. Still, he hoped Sicheng and Kun wouldn’t mention anything about that slight slip up at the bar a few nights ago. 

The man checked his phone, the large numbers on his screen indicated that his friends were late, how typical. This may have been a last-minute gathering but that didn’t mean Ten didn’t give them enough time to get ready, it’s not like they had that much to do themselves. True, unlike Ten, Kun and Sicheng did go to work, however Ten made sure to plan this when he knew they had at least an hour off work. Unfortunately, as the minutes ticked by there was still no sight of the two men. Ten was growing annoyed, feeling a heavy weight at the pit of his stomach from anger, maybe even fear. He feared his friends were abandoning him without as much as an explanation. 

The man wiped at his eyes, sucking in his cheeks and biting down on the flesh. He was _not_ going to cry, he’s done that too often as of late. Plus, it’s not like Kun and Sicheng have done this before, they must have had some reason for being late, though they could have at least reached out to Ten to let him know what was going on. Ten felt like an idiot standing around idly outside the entrance to the shopping mall, unsure of what to do with himself. 

Having reached the peak of his patience, Ten opened up the groupchat between himself and his two closest friends. He typed out a quick message asking them where they were, and to his surprise he got a response rather quickly. The text was from Kun who said that there’s been a ‘ _slight change of plans’_ as he put it. His excuse was that he was asked to go out with his colleagues, including his team leader who Ten knew Kun was trying to impress in hopes of a favourable promotion. Ten was pissed that Kun only told him now, but he couldn’t stay mad for too long, not when he knew how hard Kun has been working to get promoted. However, that didn’t explain where on earth Sicheng was. Kun advised Ten to call the youngest since Sicheng did have a tendency to ignore text messages from everyone. 

And so, Ten clicked on Sicheng’s contact and called him, waiting for the man to pick up, tapping his foot as he heard the dial tone ring through the speaker. Sicheng may ignore text messages all he wants, but there’s no way he would ignore a phone call from Ten. Why you may ask yourself. Well, you see, Ten doesn’t call unless he absolutely _has_ to, he much prefers the written medium over talking over the phone. Also, by ‘absolutely has to’, it means that Ten calls when there’s either an emergency or he’s just really _really_ annoyed. 

As expected, Sicheng picked up soon enough, answering with a shaky ‘hello’. 

“Where the hell are you?” Ten asked, trying to keep his voice down so that nobody walking around him would pay too much attention. “Are you standing me up? Listen Kun has given me a reason but so far you’ve said nothing.” 

Ten could hear Sicheng chuckling awkwardly on the line. “ _Listen_ ,” he said quietly, letting out a shaky exhale. “ _I’m sorry to do this but I can’t come- before you say anything, I’m sorry, I should’ve told you earlier but it came up_ _last_ _minute._ ” 

“What did?” Ten questioned. “You didn’t even have the common decency to let me know, instead you just stood me up!” 

“ _I’m sorry,”_ the younger apologised again. “ _It’s a family issue and I’d really appreciate it you forgive me for this time. I swear I’ll tell you another time, but now I can’t. I’m sorry.”_ With that the man hung up, leaving a dumbfounded Ten standing alone without a real answer. Whatever, Ten could have fun himself, he had plenty of time to entertain himself, even if he’d rather be in someone’s company right now. It’s strange really, Ten hadn’t really thought of meeting up with his friends until Taeyong mentioned it, and now that he was stood up he felt even lonelier than before. It would’ve been better off if he just didn’t bother. 

Disheartened, Ten looked up at the entrance to the mall. He considered going in, maybe drowning his disappointment in materialistic goods like he has done for a while now. However, shopping didn’t sound fun now, but what did sound like a decent way to pass time was getting drunk. He might as well, it’s not like he had to be anywhere or do anything tomorrow. There was nobody waiting for him at home (Moon didn’t count, she slept most of the time anyway) so it’s not like he had to get back at any particular time. So, with his mind now set, Ten turned on his heel, calling himself a cab to take him to the first bar he could find the address to. He had a feeling he was going to end up drunk by the end of the night so he didn’t bring his car which, whilst inconvenient, was definitely better that driving back home drunk. 

Ten considered sending a text to his boyfriend, something akin to _‘just got stood up by my best friends’_ or _‘friendly alone time!’_ However, the man stopped himself, knowing full well he’d just end up either getting bombarded with an onslaught of pitiful messages from Taeyong, or even worse, no response whatsoever. The man sighed, watching the buzzing city pass by the window of his cab; the day was still young and getting drunk so early maybe wasn’t the healthiest thing Ten could’ve thought of, but turning to alcohol as a coping mechanism sure felt easy. He could simply drown himself in cheap liquor and feel happy for a moment, not having to think about how his boyfriend was miles away, sleeping in fancy hotels, travelling the world, all that without him. Or he could forget how his friends were growing distant, at least that’s how it felt to him. 

The man soon found himself standing at the entrance to a small looking bar, the neon logo flickering letting Ten know its old age. It looked shabby, but Ten wasn’t looking for anything extraordinary. If he could get drunk then the place was good enough. He shrugged, pushing the heavy wooden doors open, instantly being hit with a musty, thick aroma of hard liquor. He doubted they sold any fruity cocktails here, but that was fine, whiskey or beer would do just the job for tonight. 

He slowly approached the bar, sitting down on one of the stools. The bartender quickly approached him as there really weren’t that many people around at this hour. Ten ordered his drink, having a coaster with a glass of bourbon. Ten wasn’t really a whiskey man, however occasions like this one called for something different. The man sipped the drink, feeling the burn down his tongue and throat until it travelled to the pit of his stomach. He wanted to laugh; if you told eighteen-year-old Ten that this is what he would end up doing in a decade's time he would’ve ridiculed you. Ten, the bustling socialite with more friends than he could count, sitting alone at a bar because both of his only two friends stood him up and his boyfriend was miles and miles away. That really felt like a joke, but unfortunately it was far from the truth. Somehow, Ten has managed to ruin every good thing he ever had, his twenties coming to an end soon and all he had to show for it was a downwards spiral. 

One drink became two and two became three, the day slowly passing by him without his knowledge nor consent. All Ten could think of was the liquid in his glass and the way it vanished and reappeared again. He was so out of it in fact, that he didn’t seem to notice the bar becoming full, the music picking up and noise of laughing individuals taking over the previous silence. Ten deemed that as a sign he should probably leave. After all, he has spent too much time drinking himself stupid. Luckily, Ten knew his limits and he knew that if he didn’t stop soon he might end up unconscious on the floor, most likely being rushed to the hospital to get his stomach pumped. One time was enough, and this time, without Taeyong by his side to help him such a reckless decision may lead to dire consequences. 

Ten took out his wallet, taking out way too many notes. He tried to count through them, in the end giving up and cutting it in half, knowing full well it was enough to cover his night. He attempted to stand up, failing as he felt his knees buckle from sitting for so long, as well as the ungodly amount of alcohol pumping in his veins. He decided to stay seated for a moment longer, just so that he could get himself together. He asked for a glass of water, receiving it in a short amount of time. Ten gulped down the clear liquid in a matter of seconds, asking for another one as he waited for it to clear out whatever amount of toxins that it could. 

In the meantime, Ten turned himself round in the stool, focusing on the small stage that had a few lights directed on it. It seemed that this bar had live music, so Ten didn’t mind sitting around just a bit longer for a brief moment of entertainment. There was some shuffling around the stage, but soon enough someone came up, sitting down at the grand brown piano. Ten didn’t know why, but the figure on the stage reminded him of someone. He couldn’t quite make out the face of whoever was about to play, but his outline looked similar. It was only when the man pulled down the microphone and spoke into it that Ten realised that the man by the instrument was none other than his very own Mr ‘I don’t discriminate’. Ten groaned. No matter how much he tried, he really couldn’t escape Yuta. It’s as if the universe just wanted to make him miserable, punish him even more for whatever reason. 

“Hello everyone,” Yuta greeted, adjusting the height of the microphone. “I hope everyone’s having a wonderful night! I’m going to play a little something for you, so I hope you enjoy.” The man smiled looking down at his hand on the keys. “This one’s called _‘I_ _wanna_ _get better’._ Have fun.” And just like that, the man started to play, the bar filling up with the harsh sound of piano, drums and a few other instruments, as well as Yuta’s voice. A voice Ten was expecting to hate, but one that he came to enjoy, much to his distaste. 

Ten couldn’t force himself to even dislike the performance, not when Yuta was so into the performance, his lips curved into the brightest smile Ten has ever witnessed in his twenty-eight years of life. Not when everyone was having so much _fun._ Fun that even Ten was experiencing. Yuta had stood up, the music taking over him. His mouth was so close to the microphone and his voice took over the building, and Ten was enjoying it thoroughly. Until he wasn’t. 

_“I didn’t know I was lonely ‘til I saw your face!”_ Out of all the people in the crowd, it was Ten’s eyes Yuta had to meet. The performing man grinned, making prolonged eye contact with Ten. Granted, Ten should have looked away, but he wasn’t going to let Yuta win. He scowled, crossing his arms over his chest, his mood turning sour in a flash. Ten knew for sure that Yuta was going to bring their encounter up sooner or later, and that just wasn’t something Ten really wanted. 

Ten decided he was sober enough to leave. He stood up, stumbling as his legs adjusted to being used after hours of doing nothing. The man didn’t wait for the song to end, fearing Yuta might end up approaching him if he waited around, and quite frankly Ten’s mood was far too shit to handle interacting with the man. It was clear Yuta would bring this little quote on quote _encounter_ during their gym session, but Ten preferred that over interacting him in any way in his drunken, annoyed state. That was a worry for another day. 

*** 

_22:46_ _Yongie: I hope you had fun tonight baby_

_22:46_ _Yongie: I love you so much_

_22:46_ _Yongie: text me in the morning_

_22:47_ _Yongie: and don’t forget to drink plenty water_

_22:47_ _Yongie: good night_ _tennie_

*** 

Taeyong stared down at his hand, his foot nervously jumping up and down as he sat in the waiting room of a very powerful man. Taeyong had been dreading this meeting the most out of them all, mostly because of the worry that it wouldn’t go the way he hoped it would. Choi Corp is the second biggest electronics and tech distributor in the world, and the first in Asia, having offices in Shanghai, Navi Mumbai, Bangkok, Tokyo, Taipei and many, many more. It possesses multiple electronic, hardware and software giants such as the manufactures of Taeyong’s phone and laptop. If Taeyong could manage to strike a deal here he could feel at peace knowing his work was in good hands, allowing him to spend all the time he’s lost with Ten, catching up on things they should’ve been doing already. 

The man could see it now; they’d pack into one bag and travel the world together, stopping everywhere Ten wanted to. They’d fall asleep watching the Northern Lights in a tranquil Norwegian village, and the next day they’d be strolling through the streets of Amsterdam. Finally, they would be able to spend time like couples should: together. There would be no worries about money and work, there would only be them and all the places in the world they had yet to visit. That’s all Taeyong wants, and he will make that a reality, no matter what difficulties and obstacles stand on his way. 

“For all it’s worth,” Mark said, looking over at the clock before directing his attention to Taeyong sat next to him, “he sure isn’t punctual. Makes you think if he’s worth it after all.” 

“You’re supposed to make me feel better, not worse,” Taeyong pointed out, lips curved down in a scowl. “He’s worth the wait, okay? Now it’s your time to say that so I calm down.” 

Mark’s expression was as blank as a white sheet of paper, however he did as told, one because it was part of his job and two, because he couldn’t stand seeing Taeyong spiral down into a state of infinite dread. “He’s worth the wait,” Mark repeated, offering his boss a faint but reassuring smile. “So then, what’s the ideal deal we’re after?” 

“A quarter,” Taeyong replied. “That sounds like a lot but also not, you get me?” The man asked Mark, getting an eyebrow raise as his sole response. “Like a quarter of total business operations _is_ a fair chunk of money out of my pocket, but considering the fact I wouldn’t have to be constantly flying back and forth to dozens of countries just to secure a distribution deal for a few months. And then I also wouldn’t have to worry about the handling and production of goods. I won’t have to claw my way onto store displays, and I could finally just _relax._ You get me?” 

“I do,” Mark answered. “I really do hope this deal goes to plan, Sir.” 

Taeyong shivered. “I told you I hate it when you call me that. Just stick with Taeyong.” 

“Of course, Taeyong sir,” Mark added, smirking at Taeyong’s huff. 

A tall and lean figure approached the men, and it was none other than Choi Minho in the flesh. He was in his early to mid-thirties, as handsome – if not more – as Taeyong imagined. After all, he was deemed one of the most sought-after bachelors worldwide. It really didn’t come as much of a surprise with a face and body like that. If Taeyong wasn’t a faithful and happily taken man, he would’ve liked to push his luck and test how it would feel to be under the man. He really was the opposite of Ten build wise, but Taeyong wouldn’t trade his boyfriend for anyone in the whole world, no matter how hot and dreamy. 

“Mr Lee, I assume?” Minho asked, offering his hand out to Taeyong who had stood up, taking the older man’s hand in his, admiring the strong grip. “Sorry for keeping you waiting. Now, would you like to follow me to my office?” 

*** 

_11:38 Me: sorry for the late response_ _yongie_

_11:38 Me: I was knocked out cold from last night_

_11:38 Me:_ _im_ _so tired, I even skipped_ _gym_ _today_

_11:38 Me:_ _im_ _gonna_ _lose my curves when you get back_

_11:39 Me: but other than_ _that_ _im_ _fine_

_11:39 Me: nothing a few meds_ _can't_ _fix_

_11:39 Me:_ _im_ _not really sure of the time zone_ _youre_ _in so I hope_ _youre_ _doing fine wherever in the world you are right now_

_11:40 Me: moon says high by the way_

_11:40 Me:_ _shes_ _staling your side of the bed so you might have to fight for your rightful place when you get back home_

_11:40 Me: anyway, make sure to eat something nice and get plenty of water and sleep_

_11:40 Me: I love you_ _yongie_

_***_

“You’ve made quite an impact in the tech market,” Minho said, leaning back in his leather desk chair, the small balls of his Newton’s cradle filling the large office with soft clicks. Taeyong had made himself comfortable in the grand and soft chair opposite Minho’s desk. The meeting had gone on for what Taeyong guessed was twenty minutes at this point if the clock in the office was correct. Within those minutes, Taeyong felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, most likely a couple of texts from his boyfriend. 

“That’s very flattering to hear,” Taeyong stated, letting out a polite chuckle. “But compared to your company I am merely a speck on the world of business.” 

Minho raised a brow. “Very humble I see,” he uttered, pushing himself out of his seat. “But I wouldn’t recommend you run your achievements into the dirt,” he suggested, walking around to stand in front of Taeyong, leaning himself against his desk, hands propping him up. “You’ve managed to cut the profits of multiple companies into half, even making a much older business in the same field of work file for bankruptcy. You and your creation are much more powerful than you could even imagine. Which is why I’ll gladly accept your offer,” he said with a lazy smile. 

“All conditions?” Taeyong asked, in disbelief as to what his ears were hearing. He really expected Minho to argue for more, especially since Taeyong’s company was somewhat in its infancy, making it a risky investment in the short term, but possibly a great one in the larger scheme of things. “No add ons? No queries or disputes?” 

Minho shook his head no. “All conditions,” he repeated. “I truly believe this business will go places and I’m not going to let anyone outbid me.” Taeyong, elated stood up, going in for a handshake with the older business CEO. Minho gladly shook his hand, settling their verbal agreement right now and there. “Glad to be doing business with you,” Minho said with a kinder smile. 

“The pleasure is all mine,” Taeyong assured. “I’ll make sure to have the contract delivered to you by the end of the week.” 

“I’ll await it patiently.” 

When Taeyong left Minho’s office, Mark was waiting outside for him. The younger bolted out of his seat, his face riddled in confusion, waiting to hear the news Taeyong had. Taeyong didn’t even say anything, simply throwing his arms over Mark, forgetting any professionalism in the workplace, completely overtaken by the sheer joy and relief caused by the meeting he just sat through. 

“I take it that everything went well, Taeyong sir,” Mark said happily, patting his boss on the back. 

Taeyong pulled away, an overjoyed grin painted across his face. “You’d be right about that.” 

“How should we celebrate?” 

“Drinks on me,” Taeyong replied. “But don’t get me _too_ drunk,” he added, raising his finger at his personal assistant. “I have to celebrate with Ten too.” Mark grimaced, knowing full well what his boss was talking about. After a few weeks of going on trips abroad with his boss, and with a fair share of thin walls, Mark had the displeasure of hearing Taeyong’s ‘c _elebrations.’_

“I didn’t need to know that sir,” Mark pointed out. “But I’ll make sure you don’t get too drunk.” 

“Great! But don’t call me sir.” 

*** 

_22:43_ _Yongie: I have amazing news_ _tennie!_

_22:43_ _Yongie: I secured a deal with_ _choi_ _corp_

_22:44 Me: as in THE_ _choi_ _corp????_

_22:44_ _Yongie: yup!!!_

_22:44 Me: !!!!!!!!_ _TELL ME!!!! We have to celebrate this!!_

_22:44_ _Yongie: a quarter of all operations_

_22:44 Me: a quarter...._ _isnt_ _that too much?_

_22:45_ _Yongie: too much? I mean sure its 25% but just think about all the great things this will bring_

_22:45_ _Yongie: ill have so much more free time, all which I will spend on you and keeping you happy and loved_

_22:45 Me: I see that and I admire that but 25 percent?_

_22:45 Me: for a business your size you_ _wouldve_ _had_ _ceos_ _getting on their knees for even 10_

_22:46_ _Yongie: but this is_ _choi_ _corp, this investment will set us for_ _life_ _baby_

_22:46_ _Yongie: the business will grow under_ _choi_ _and we’ll be making much_ _much_ _more than with anyone who_ _wouldve_ _begged for 10%_

_22:47 Me: says who_

_22:47_ _Yongie: do you want all the files the financial department have been working on for the past year?_

_22:47 Me:_ _im_ _fine thanks_

_22:47_ _Yongie: you sound annoyed_

_22:47 Me:_ _im_ _not annoyed,_ _im_ _just processing everything you said_

_22:47_ _Yongie: babe..._

_22:47 Me: no_ _no_ _don’t_ _babe me_

_22:48 Me: you never discussed 25 with me, I have the right to be annoyed when you decided something this big by yourself_

_22:48_ _Yongie: last time I checked_ _youre_ _not involved with this business_

_22:48_ _Yongie: or anything finance related for that matter_

_22:48_ _Yongie: you don’t even know how much comes in and out of your bank account_

_22:48 Me: still! You didn’t even tell me anything about this deal, all you said that it was investors, not this!_

_22:49_ _Yongie:_ _whats_ _the big deal? Are you scared that_ _youre_ _not_ _gonna_ _afford your jewels? Because trust me we’re not the same two broke_ _uni_ _students we were years ago_

_22:49_ _Yongie: If_ _anything_ _you should at least be happy that we will get to spend more time together_

_22:49 Me: how can I be sure that this is for real? You’ve already said countless times that you would make things up to me so how can I be sure this_ _isnt_ _another_ _lie, a multi-million dollar kind of lie_

_22:49_ _Yongie: don’t you trust me_

_22:49 Me: goodnight_

_22:50_ _Yongie: ten don’t do this_

_22:50_ _Yongie: ten_

_22:50_ _Yongie: goodnight_

_***_

“Boxing huh?” Yuta mused, amused at the sight of Ten furiously beating the large red punching bag. The shorter of the two was drenched in sweat, his hair tied in a small ponytail with the short hairs around his face sticking down to the wet skin. He seemed angry, more than usual which may have scared Yuta just a tiny bit. If Ten was practically unbearable on his good days then Yuta feared what he would be like when he’s fuming with rage. “You in a mood?” The man asked, but there was no answer so he took a few small steps towards the man. “Mind if I join?” 

Ten hit the bag with a loud thud, causing Yuta to gulp. “Are you offering to get beaten up?” Ten asked, wiping the beading sweat from his forehead. “Because I’d love that. The punching bag doesn’t scream when I hit it.” 

Yuta chuckled, picking up a set of hook and jab gloves from the equipment shelf behind Ten. He quickly put them on, clapping his hands together as he walked back to Ten, smiling at the man. “I’ll pass, but you can punch here,” he said, lifting his hands up. “C’mon, try me.” 

The shorter took the invitation, connecting his glove clad fist to Yuta’s palm, striking the man with all he had. Yuta, not expecting such force, stumbled back a few steps. He laughed, regaining his stance, clapping his gloves together when he was ready. Ten hit again, and again, and again. He was unrelenting, his sheer strength surprising Yuta with each punch. There was clearly some sort of strong rage burning within him, and Yuta hoped that Ten would calm down sooner or later before he went on a murderous streak, killing anyone who dare get in his way. Yuta would much rather sacrifice his hands than watch Ten up on the news after flinging a passer-by at a moving bus. 

“You didn’t come yesterday,” Yuta pointed out in between Ten’s forceful punches. “How come?” 

“Didn’t feel like it,” Ten replied through clenched teeth, landing a fairly decent hit on Yuta. “I don’t need to explain myself to you.” 

Yuta shrugged. “Fair enough,” he admitted, “I guess you don’t. After all, we’re not friends.” 

“Yup,” Ten agreed, punching Yuta’s glove, a small thud echoing through the room. “You’ve finally understood that. So proud,” he added sarcastically, stopping his punches to take big gulps from his water bottle, grimacing at the bitter lemon taste from leaving the citrus in for much too long. “Not friends.” 

“Is that why you ran away from the bar?” Yuta questioned. “Did my presence annoy you so much that you couldn’t stay any longer?” The man’s expression was calm, somewhat tired and fed up even. He truly was like a saint, dealing with Ten’s bullshit ever since they met at the bar not so long ago. If it were anyone else putting up with Ten they would have left already, not deeming the man worth all the hassle and migraines which he brought onto the people around him. Yet Yuta didn’t leave, but it was probably a matter of time before he did. Ten had a habit of driving people away which came naturally with his unbearable attitude and his distrust to every new person he meets. “Do you hate me that much? Or actually- do you hate yourself that much?” 

Ten’s eyes stuck to Yuta, glaring at him with a fiery rage. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Yuta smirked, tilting his head to the side. “It’s like you want to be constantly miserable,” the man stated. “You avoid anyone who genuinely wants to be friends, you’re constantly angry or annoyed or just in this state of rage that is very much unhealthy. And then you refuse to have fun, and if I had to guess, you probably spend your nights alone drinking your sorrows away.” Yuta fixed the velcro strap on his gloves as he felt the fumes coming from the other man. “You’re just acting like a spoilt brat milking his boyfriend dry.” 

Ten’s blood was boiling, rushing through his veins like lava. His brow twitched and Yuta’s shit eating grin grew, knowing full well he hit bullseye. “You don’t know anything about me,” he spat. 

“Is that so?” Yuta asked, inching closer to the pissed off man. “Then why are you so affected by what I just said? Did I hit a nerve?” He pushed Ten back, riling him up more. “Are you gonna go and wallow in yourself pity after this? Drink yourself stupid and go cry in your Gangnam penthouse? Get a grip.” 

“No, you get a grip!” Ten fired back, pushing Yuta off him. “You have no right to tell me to get a grip! You have no fucking clue what I’m going through you fucking asshole.” 

“Then tell me,” Yuta suggested. “You clearly have _something_ that’s eating at you. So, let it out,” he said, “and not by getting angry and punching anything. Actually say what’s going on. If not to me, then a friend, or a therapist, your plant or even your pet.” 

Ten grit his teeth, staring at the man, steam evaporating from his hot body. “I don’t talk sober,” he stated. 

“Well you’re gonna have to start. So, what do you say, want to grab a coffee and talk?” 

The shorter man folded his arms over his chest, looking at Yuta. He was thinking through Yuta’s proposition, thinking very thoroughly about what going with him would mean. It would mean opening up, being weak in front of someone who he didn’t know. It would bring criticism, probably helpful criticism but criticism nonetheless. Every fibre of Ten wanted to reject, to show Yuta the middle finger after the stunt he had just pulled off, calling Ten out on clearly unhealthy behaviours. Ten needed to get a grip, deep inside he knew that but he would never admit it out loud because that would mean that he was admitting to being the problem. There was a word that described Ten rather well, but he didn’t want to think about it. Sooner or later, Yuta will most likely call him that and Ten will try to defend himself, however his defence will be as shallow as a kiddie pool. 

“I don’t talk in public.” 

Yuta laughed. “Well I was going to offer you come over to my place but I fear being murdered by you. Unless you have a place you’d like to go?” 

Ten sighed. He hated that he even considered what he was about to say. “My place,” he said. 

“Cool,” Yuta said. “I’ll just text my friends in case I go missing.” 

*** 

_13:56_ _Yongie: I know_ _youre_ _probably still mad at me but please_ _tennie, we need to talk_

_13:56_ _Yongie: I hate it when things_ _arent_ _good between us_

_13:56_ _Yongie: text me or call me when you can_

_13:56_ _Yongie: I love you ten, more than you can even imagine_

_13:56_ _Yongie: so, so_ _SO_ _much_

_13:56_ _Yongie:_ _ill_ _see you soon baby_

_***_

Moon greeted Ten as he walked into the apartment, Yuta trailing after him holding a paper bag containing two beers that Ten convinced Yuta into buying on the way over. Yuta agreed, but so that Ten couldn’t escape talking thing out by getting drunk, he made sure to buy the weakest, cheapest, beer he could possibly find in the shop. Yuta could feel Ten shooting daggers at him with his eyes as Yuta picked out the beverages, crossing his arms in annoyance. No matter how much Ten protested, Yuta fought off the shorter man so that he would just forget the alcohol. Getting drunk wasn’t going to solve whatever problems Ten was having, and it definitely wasn’t going to be useful at Yuta’s impromptu therapy session. 

The fluffy pet meowed, rubbing herself against Ten’s leg as he walked in, throwing his gym bag down on the floor, leaving it a task for later. He needed to do the washing sometime soon; the amount of dirty clothes piling in the laundry basket was getting concerning and Ten feared it would turn into a sweat drenched monster if he didn’t stop procrastinating doing the washing. After all, all he had to do was throw the clothes in and set the machine on the right program, but even that was a tedious task to do when he’d much rather laze around, maybe drink something as he stared at the flashing tv screen. 

“Evening Moon,” Ten greeted, bending down to scratch the cat behind the ear. “Missed me?” The cat meowed, swelling Ten’s heart with joy. He knew that she was probably just hungry, but he still took the noise as a response to his question, giving him a slight ego boost. “I missed you too baby.” Moon purred, wrapping her tail around the man’s calf before she waddled off, glancing over at the stranger standing in the doorway. “That’s Yuta,” Ten said to the cat, looking up at the taller man with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “You can bite him if you want.” 

“It would be my pleasure,” Yuta declared, closing the doors behind him with a soft click. “Moon, is it?” The man asked, carefully reaching his hand out as he slowly got down to the cat’s level. The small creature warily approached Yuta, her little nose sniffing the extended limb as she neared. She looked at the hand, considering it for a few seconds before she rubbed her head against Yuta. “That’s a good kitty,” Yuta cooed, letting Moon rub against his fingers in whatever way she pleased. “You like me, don’t you? I like you too. What a good kitty,” he continued, placing the bag on the floor so that he could use his other hand to pet the cat. 

Ten huffed, kicking his shoes off before stepping further into the apartment. “Take your time,” he said under his breath as he walked away from Yuta and Moon. A part of him wanted to be mad at Moon for befriending the enemy, but then again, he couldn’t blame her. Yuta may infuriate Ten, but Ten can’t deny that there is something appealing about the man. Ever since their outing to get coffee together, it was clear that Yuta had snaked his way into Ten’s life, and Ten couldn’t find it in him to hate that fact. Yuta was warm, annoying but kind, and also reasonable. He had somehow managed to deal with Ten’s bullshit for longer than any other stranger Ten had become acquainted with over the past few years. He just wondered how much the man could take of Ten. 

The man stopped in the living room, throwing himself on the couch which had endured rather heavy use in its short life. Ten remembered when they bought it and how Taeyong laughed that they’ll never end up using it. The older had said that they’ll either use the bed or the much more comfortable chairs around since the sofa was surprisingly hard. Despite being the one to say that, it seemed to be Taeyong who used this piece of furniture the most, especially when the two men came back after parties or dates. It seemed like this couch has seen more action than their bed ever has. Ten smiled softly as he imagined his boyfriend pulling him down on the couch, whining that he couldn’t wait, that the bedroom was too far. Ten always gave in, loving the way Taeyong’s lips curved in satisfaction as he got it his way. 

Over the past two months it became Ten’s duty to use the couch the way it was intended to be used. He maybe took it to an extreme, barely moving off it on his lazy days, but he was working on fixing the nasty habit by going to the gym in the morning instead of binging yet another show on one of the many online services he had access too. Sometimes he would look on Taeyong’s Netflix account to check what the man has been watching whilst he’s away. Of course, Taeyong’s history consisted of cheesy romantic comedies or dramas with the occasional documentary sprinkled here and there. All the movies they promised to watch together were left untouched, awaiting the day Taeyong and Ten would be reunited again. 

Moon jumped up and sat next to Ten on the sofa, balling herself up against the man, seeking the heat the human was radiating. She must have gotten tired of Yuta already, or vice versa; however, it was the former that seemed more plausible. Ten gently stroked Moon’s soft fur, hearing the faint purr from her. “Are you coming or not?” Ten asked, raising his voice so that Yuta could hear him from across the large apartment. “Did you get lost? I assure you the way into the living room isn’t complicated.” 

“I’m fine,” Yuta called back. “I’m just looking around,” he explained, his voice growing softer with each word. “I’ve never been in a place as nice as this. It’s so big! So fancy!” 

“Stop getting hard over the architecture,” Ten yelled back, he shivered, “it’s weird.” 

“Woah!” Yuta seemed to find something worthy of wonder and amazement. Ten, not wanting to wait around as a not quite friend walked around his house, stood up and walked over to the entrance to the apartment where he assumed Yuta was. 

He was right. Yuta had brought his attention to a framed photograph on the cabinet propped up against one of the walls in the foyer. It was one of the many pictures Taeyong had adorned the house with over the years. Ten remembered the thick envelopes that had arrived on one autumn morning and the way Taeyong sprinted to the door when he heard the mail had come in on that day. Ten stood confused in the kitchen, waiting as the water for their morning cup of tea boiled. Taeyong was so elated as he carefully placed the multiple brown envelopes, all of differing sizes, down on the counter in front of Ten. The younger asked about them, only to have Taeyong open them up, spilling out dozens upon dozens of prints down on the marble surface. _“That’s us,”_ the older had said happily, images of their years together on full display. Up until that point, the two of them never had a photo album; all they had were the pictures on their old shitty camera and phones, all stored on the hard drive of their shared computer. Now they had physical, tangible copies they could trace with their fingers, feeling the memories entrapped in the glossy card. 

Ten picked out a few of his favourites as so did Taeyong, deciding on which ones they should scatter around their apartment to make it feel like home. They both were very fond of one image in particular: the one they decided to place at the entrance of their home. They deemed it to be the photograph that was sure to make them smile any time they walked into the apartment, no matter how terrible their day. It was a rather blurry photograph, taken at a late hour of the day when the sky had lost its light colour in favour of being scattered in beautiful orbs of white light. Taeyong and Ten were holding each other tightly, shielding themselves from the harsh January wind, their coats comically thin for the weather. Ten was sat on Taeyong’s lap, his arm slung over Taeyong’s neck, a bottle of beer in hand. The older was laughing hysterically as he shivered, making Ten jump up and down on his lap from his jittering. Ten’s face was red from the alcohol, the cold, and from his laughter. It was New Year’s Day – or eve, the specifics were a bit hazy in Ten’s mind – so everyone was having fun. The two men had been together for about half a year at that point so their relationship was in the honeymoon stage, and the picture captured that very well. 

Ten remembered the person behind the camera no matter how hard he tried to forget; the knowledge that someone who hurt him was the one who had brought this beautiful picture into the world was rather bittersweet, but it didn’t take away from the joy that young Ten and Taeyong felt. 

“You’re dating Lee Taeyong?” Yuta asked, looking at the image closely. “Now that’s a big fish,” he said to himself under his breath. “How long?” The man stood upright, turning to Ten with a polite smile. 

“Dating? Going to be seven years at the end of August,” he answered. “We’ve known each other since our university days.” 

“That’s a long time then,” Yuta pointed out. “Any thoughts of popping the big question?” 

Ten shrugged. “Dunno...” The man looked down, eyes gazing at the framed photo. He wondered if that dream would become a reality any time soon. He would love to know Taeyong was in this for life – not that he acted like he wasn’t, after all they spent nearly a decade together. It’s just... Ten wanted the comfort of being sure that this was forever, that they’ve got each other ‘til death do them apart. It was all the sense of security Ten craved. Security which he feared might waver with Taeyong’s new deal with Choi Corp. Would things stay stable when Taeyong sells off a quarter of his company? The uncertainty was what killed Ten on the inside. “It would be nice,” he added. “He said he would, when we’re _good._ Whatever that means.” 

“Living good?” Yuta suggested. “Happy? Well off? Not evil? If it’s the last one then you have quite the way to go.” The taller man grinned, seemingly thriving of Ten’s annoyance. Ten huffed, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure it’ll happen soon,” Yuta added, noticing the glimmer of doubt in Ten’s eyes. He didn’t seem to believe that, despite everything, Taeyong would end up proposing, as if he feared the man would inevitably leave him. Of course, with any relationship there is always a sense of uncertainty to the longevity of a union, however after seven years of being together you’d think there shouldn’t be a reason to worry, at that point both parties are in it for the long run, or at least they should be. 

Ten shrugged, turning on his heel and walking back into the living room, sitting back on the couch next to Moon who was sprawled over the cushion, her tail softly swaying. Yuta joined the two, placing the small plastic bag containing their beverages on the coffee table before sitting by himself in one of the armchairs. The two men didn’t say anything at first, merely stealing glances when the other didn’t seem to be looking. Who knew things would have turned so awkward this quickly? 

“Anyway,” Yuta uttered, finally breaking the silence which had enveloped them. His eyes scanned the surroundings, the cogs in his head turning as he wondered how he should start talking to Ten. They both knew why they were here: to talk. Yuta felt like he was going to end up somewhat of a therapist to Ten today, so he got ready to play his role well, and that began with starting off strong. But you may be thinking to yourself: why is Yuta even trying to help Ten in the first place? Ten has been nothing but rude, arrogant and cold when it came to Yuta, which was true, however Yuta couldn’t just stand by idly and watch as a person with so much potential was slowly poisoning themselves. Ten was toxic, in a way that didn’t hurt the others around him per se – though that doesn’t mean he hasn’t done so – but in a way that did more damage to himself. Ten loved to play the victim and Yuta knew that that mentality wouldn’t get him anywhere. His _woe is me_ attitude would end up coming to bite him in the ass sooner or later. 

But that didn’t mean there wasn’t any hope for him. There was always hope, but that hope will only do any good if Ten was willing to realise that it’s not everyone around him that’s the problem, but that it’s him. Everyone has their own problems, but the moment they start only seeing the bad things around them is when things turn for the worse, and it seems Ten has been living like that for a while now from the look of things. 

“How you doing?” Yuta asked, earning himself a scoff from Ten. It was obvious Ten was trying his hardest to evade the question, not wanting to answer Yuta. The man started to stroke the curled-up Moon next to him, a clear sign he was seeking comfort. It was about time Ten opened up to someone, and the first step was about to take place. “Like, overall. Have you been happy? Stressed? Anything?” 

Ten sucked in his bottom lip, observing the bag on the table. “I don’t know,” he replied in a monotone voice, void of all emotions. “What am I supposed to say?” 

“Exactly what I asked,” Yuta said, crossing his leg over his lap. “How are you?” 

“This is stupid,” Ten muttered, running his fingers through Moon’s fur, the movements faster. “You’re not my therapist, you’re not even my friend. Why did I even agree to this?” 

“Because you need to talk,” Yuta stated matter of factly. “And I’m willing to listen. So, answer the question. How are you?” 

Ten’s cold eyes met with Yuta. The man was unrelenting, like a stain that you can never wash out. Yuta won’t stop pestering Ten until he feels accomplished, acting like he’s some sort of hero for saving Ten in his spiral into misery and alcoholism perpetuated by his bitter loneliness and distrust to others around him. Ten knew exactly the type of person Yuta was, which is exactly why Ten refused to open up, but if he didn’t then Yuta would just _never_ leave him be. He was torn. On one hand, Ten had no reason to have Yuta in his house, sitting in the seat which wasn’t his, acting like he would singlehandedly bring salvation to Ten. But on the other hand, Ten invited Yuta over. 

Ten was addicted to the attention. He needed to be someone’s centre of the world or else he would go crazy, and it just so happened that Yuta became Ten’s fixation. It was wrong to use the man like this, treating him like a quick high until Taeyong came back, but then again it seemed as if Yuta also needed something to do to keep himself entertained. It was a symbiotic relationship – a toxic one at that. Despite his unwillingness to share, another part of Ten craved to be listened to; he wanted to be cared for and Yuta was here for that. Besides, Ten might as well entertain Yuta for the time being, what, with how the man wanted to act like his saving grace. 

“Apart from wanting to stay in bed every day with a bottle of wine for company? It’s not that bad- well, that’s debatable, but it could be worse I guess.” 

Yuta hummed, thinking that he was finally getting somewhere, unaware of the way Ten was using him for his own personal gain. 

They played their little game for quite some time, the weak beverage Yuta had bought poured down the drain, being replaced by one of the wines in Ten’s stash. The apartment had a storage room dedicated just for wine, and Yuta had learned that Taeyong had it put in place just for Ten, knowing full well how his boyfriend loved a good wine. 

Time had completely slipped by them, the sun setting below the horizon, filling the sky with the darkness of the night with only speckles of stars lighting up the night. Their conversation had shifted over the course of the night at a few instances; however, it was fairly consistent and managed to stay relatively on track. With two bottles of red wine finished between the two men, Yuta had finally reached what would turn out to be the end of their exchange. The topic had turned in favour of discussing Ten’s love life, because, as Yuta has come to figure out from listening to Ten talk, nearly everything led back to Ten and his relationship with Taeyong. There was also another individual that came up over and over, yet when questioned about it Ten refused to answer. 

“It used to be better,” Ten declared. “Everything was just easier. He was there, and so was I, and I’d always know he was with me. I didn’t feel lonely.” Yuta laughed, surprising Ten with his outburst. “What are you laughing at?” Ten asked, voice rising in defence. “Is something funny to you?” 

“Kinda,” Yuta replied, placing his empty wine glass down. “It’s just, is your memory that bad? Because I swear that like half an hour ago you kept complaining how you’d feel so alone and cry yourself to sleep when Taeyong kept working through the night. Oh! Or how you barely spent time together because of all the work you both had to do to survive. Are you sure the wine isn’t getting to your head?” 

Ten, offended, scoffed. “I didn’t say that.” 

“Yes, you did,” Yuta argued. “Very clearly. Do you remember or should I help you out? It was right after you told me about one of your Christmas gifts from Taeyong. You know which one? The ring.” Yuta had become somewhat baffled, utterly taken aback by what he was listening to. He wasn’t sure if Ten was a: playing with him, or b: if he was this drunk and all his memories were muddled up, or even worse: he believed what he was saying to Yuta. If it was the latter then Ten... it wasn’t good. “Have you forgotten already?” 

The man in question looked confused. “You’re making shit up.” 

Yuta scoffed. “Maybe I am,” he said, deciding to go along with Ten was telling him. “Just, please remind me of one thing: do you prefer things how they are now to how they used to be?” 

Ten shook his head no. 

“Right, okay.” 

Yuta concluded one thing over this night: Ten was a walking, talking contradiction. One minute he’d say how he and Taeyong would fight over their finances, how they’d work multiple shifts to pay for their overpriced apartment and to pay off a multitude of loans, and the next minute he’d complain about how Taeyong is spoiling him with gifts because he’s _trying to buy_ Ten’s love. It was absolutely absurd the way he flipped his narratives so quickly. 

To everyone else in the world it would be crystal clear that Ten’s past was by far worse than what he had now. For crying out loud, Ten had a loving boyfriend who did _everything_ for Ten. Taeyong treated Ten so well, spoiling Ten with anything he could ever wish for, and then there was Ten who could only whine that _he’s not here so he doesn’t love me,_ which was ridiculously far from the truth. If anything, it just showed how much the older loved Ten, that he was willing to spend days upon days at work just to ensure a good life for Ten. 

Ten was – for a lack of better words – ungrateful. It’s as if he has forgotten the harsh reality of living with little, struggling to make ends meet. He had everything served to him on a silver platter, yet he still had the audacity to complain. He was shameless, bringing up a story of how Taeyong surprised him with a ring that the older had saved up for because he wanted to treat his boyfriend to something he deserved, only for Ten to confess to Yuta that he thought the jewellery wasn’t even that pretty. 

“Have you ever considered that maybe the reason behind you feeling this _miserable,_ is you?” 

“Me?” Ten questioned, baffled by Yuta’s suggestion. “Are you saying that I’m my own problem?” Yuta nodded in response, only furthering Ten’s irritation. “Me? The problem? I’m sorry, but do you even hear yourself?” 

“Think about it!” Yuta exclaimed, sighing in frustration. “All you do is complain about your life, taking about how the past was better despite the fact that it _wasn’t._ You keep looking through rose-tinted glasses, blinding yourself to the point you believe that you’d be happier off living like you used to. You’re too focused on the past to realise that what you have now is far better; you have a boyfriend who would literally do anything for you, yet you still act like he doesn’t love you because _god forbid_ he works for the both of you.” The man locked eyes with Ten, hoping he could get through to him. “Stop living in your distorted fantasy and get a grip on reality.” 

“I’m not living in a fantasy!” Ten quarrelled. “And I am _not_ romanticising my past, it was shit-” Suddenly realising his Freudian slip, Ten paused. _Oh no._ Maybe he shouldn’t have drank anything when he decided to talk to Yuta. 

Yuta smirked, having finally forced Ten to admit his hypocrisy. “Was it now?” He asked smugly. “What happened to you saying it was better? Huh?” 

“I- I never said that,” Ten argued, but it was a lost cause. He had lost to Yuta, his subconscious having revealed its truth amidst a few drinks. It wasn’t like Ten could defend himself anymore, because Yuta had seen the truth behind the façade. 

“You just did!” Yuta pointed out. “I asked you and you said so yourself! You can’t lie to yourself forever. Just admit that the glamourized past you have is a sham. You’re only gonna hurt yourself like this.” 

“Who are you to speak? You’re just some guy with a saviour complex, using me as your little experiment to make yourself feel better because your own life is lackluster and unfulfilling!” Ten may have given up on fighting Yuta on his contradicting lies, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t sink his claws in and fight Yuta, giving him a piece of his own medicine. “You cling onto me despite me clearly treating you like shit because all you see in me is a way to satisfy the empty void in yourself. I’m not your test subject, and you’re not a hero, get that through your fucking thick skull.” 

“I don’t want to be a hero,” Yuta interrupted, his face filling with a new shade of red. “I just wanted to be your friend.” Ten wanted to laugh at that. _Friend._ He’s heard that plenty of times before, but never were those words genuine, not since he lost what he considered to be his best friend. People don’t really want to be friends when you’re rich; all that they can see is ways of manipulating you and sucking you dry, acting in just the right ways to get their way. To Ten, friends were a sham, and he barely held onto the few he had left. 

“Well you’re going about it the wrong way,” Ten explained. “So far you’ve acted more like a therapist than a friend.” 

“Because I want to help you!” 

“I don’t need your help!” Ten exclaimed, standing up from his seat, startling the sleeping bundle of fur beside him. “You can’t help everyone, Yuta! It’s not your job, so stop trying and start acting without ulterior motives.” 

“You make it hard,” Yuta stated. “You’re so miserable and pathetic that all I can think about is helping you. Sorry that I _care,_ even if to you I’m nothing more than a nuisance. I can’t stand idly watching someone destroy themselves the way you do, it’s against my human nature!” 

Ten groaned. “I’m so fucking tired of this,” he uttered. “I’m done,” he continued, walking to the exit to the apartment. “I’m going!” He stopped when he was at the door, his hand wrapped around the door handle. He cursed at himself. _Perfect, way to make yourself like an idiot._ “This is my house. _You_ leave!” Promptly, he spun on his heel, looking to Yuta, watching as the man heaved himself up from his seat. Ten opened the door to his apartment, holding it open for Yuta as the man slipped his shoes on and grabbed his belongings. “Go,” Ten ordered harshly. “I shouldn’t have agreed to this in the first place.” 

Yuta looked downtrodden as he was ready to head out. Ten ushered him out, staring at him until he moved. But, before Yuta could leave, he stopped, looking up from the floor to stare into Ten’s fiery eyes. “I genuinely wish you the best, Ten. Let’s meet again.” He offered the shorter man a smile, stepping outside only to have heavy doors slammed behind him. 

Now alone, Ten sighed, staring blankly at the ceiling, his eyes burning as tears swelled. Ten didn’t need help, he didn’t need help. He didn’t. He was fine. He wasn’t lying to himself. He wasn’t. Not at all. 

But he was. Ten knew it well. There were aspects of his life that Ten refused to acknowledge, mostly because he built up his lie too high, and letting it crumble down and shatter would mean he had to face the fact that he indeed was the reason behind his own suffering. 

Ten waddled over to the living room, Moon having moved from the couch to scratch her post. The sound of tearing string filled the room, and Ten felt it was somewhat fitting to how he felt. He stared at the glass of wine he had yet to empty, but the sight of it made his stomach churn. He couldn’t stomach it. Ten didn’t know what to think. He knew that there was some truth to Yuta’s words, but the defences he had put up for himself were making it difficult to admit it fully. Ten didn’t want to call himself a hypocrite; he didn’t want to admit that all he’s done over the past years is wallow in self-pity when he had no reason to. Admitting that meant that he was his own problem, and that meant that Ten needed help. 

Help was the last thing he wanted right now. 

_***_

_21:12_ _Yongie:_ _tennie, I don’t know if_ _youre_ _sleeping or if_ _youre_ _busy of_ _youre_ _just_ _gonna_ _ignore me_

_21:12_ _Yongie: but I just_ _wanna_ _say sorry_

_21:12_ _Yongie:_ _youre_ _right, I shouldn’t have excluded you from this decision_

_21:12_ _Yongie: but please trust me with this, I did it all for us baby_

_21:12_ _Yongie: I also have some more news that I hope will make you happy_

_21:13_ _Yongie: I have a flight booked home in 2 days_

_21:13_ _Yongie: in 2 days I'll be all yours_ _tennie_

_21:13_ _Yongie:_ _actually_ _just a day and a bit_

_21:12_ _Yongie: and this time I_ _wont_ _leave your side until you get tired of me_

_21:12_ _Yongie: I love you_

_21:12_ _Yongie: with all my heart_

_21:12_ _Yongie: sleep well angel_

_***_

Ten stared at himself in the full-length mirror spread across the entire wall. The man had decided to come to his dance studio in the dead of night. He grabbed his keys and rushed over, only to have the studio open, a few young individuals with burning passion dancing and practicing through the night. Ten recognised one of the boys; when Ten first opened the studio, the boy was still a young boy, even a freshman in high school, but now he had matured and grown into the boy – man – he was now. A part of Ten felt saddened when he saw the boy. Due to his own reluctance and died out passion, Ten was unable to see the growth. But maybe he could find that passion once more. 

The man relaxed his shoulders, rolling them to ease the pent-up tension. He was so stiff, so unlike his old self. This body didn’t feel like his own, not in this state at least. What even was the point of going to the gym practically every day if it did nothing to crush the blockade standing in his way. 

It’s been over a year now since Ten had last danced with the same joy and love he used to. He was still unsure to the main catalyst behind the abrupt stop. There were a few things which had happened that year, so it made it difficult to pin point just one reason. But, if Ten had to guess, it would be the accumulation of stress and self-doubt that brought his dreams falling down. 

At that time, there was just too much going on. Taeyong was busy and so was Ten. They both had things going on, and it got to Ten because it felt like it _used to._ It was too familiar and the fear of things going back to normal kicked in. Taeyong was going to spend his days worrying over his business and Ten would worry about his too, and even with the money they had it wouldn’t be enough. Something bad would happen, yet another loan would exhaust them and their funds, and everything would crash and burn. That was Ten’s fate. 

Those months were extremely difficult on Ten; the man would skip meals and work harder than ever, pushing himself to the limits until he couldn’t go anymore. He was bedridden for two weeks, but after that period had come to an end he never came back to the studio. Taeyong worried about him, and he took care of his boyfriend as well as he could, holding him tight as Ten cried in his sleep, ensuring that he didn’t have to worry about anything ever again. It was somewhere amidst this chaos that Ten had forced himself to believe he was better off in the past despite it being clearly false. It made no reason as to why he would even think that, but to him it made sense. He found comfort in the past, because back then they had nothing to lose, and now they had everything. 

Ten shut his eyes, wrapping his hand around his neck, extending his other arm up high as if he was reaching for something, his fingertips barely missing his goal. 

_***_

_23:05 Tennie: I love you too_

_23:05 Tennie:_ _im_ _sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten angry_

_23:05 Tennie:_ _im_ _just scared_

_23:06 Me: oh baby,_ _theres_ _nothing to be scared of_

_23:06 Me: you know_ _I'll_ _always keep you safe and happy_

_23:06 Tennie: I know_

_23:06 Me: do you want to talk about it?_

_23:06 Tennie:_ _its_ _pretty late,_ _youre_ _probably tired_

_23:06 Me:_ _youre_ _my number 1 priority baby_

_23:07 Me: who needs sleep, its_ _overrated_ _anyway_

_23:07 Tennie: I feel... like shit_

_23:07 Tennie:_ _im_ _so pathetic_

_23:07 Tennie: all I do is fuck things up, be it friendships or just my life in general_

_23:07 Tennie: why do you even love me_

_23:07 Me: oh ten... my precious ten_

_23:08 Me:_ _theres_ _no many reasons I love you that you wouldn’t even believe me_

_23:08 Me: I love everything about you, down to every freckle and hair on your body_

_23:08 Me: you make me feel alive and at home, you give me comfort and a reason to smile_

_23:08 Me: I don’t know where I would be without you, and I don’t want to even consider not being with you because_ _youre_ _my everything, my sun, moon and stars_

_23:08 Tennie: but_ _im_ _a terrible person_

_23:08 Me: now that’s an outright lie babe_

_23:09 Tennie: but it’s true,_ _im_ _just a hypocrite with trust issues, unable to open up to anyone_

_23:09 Me: that doesn’t make you a terrible person_ _tennie, especially since you know your flaws_

_23:09 Me: it just means you have plenty of room for improvement_

_23:09 Tennie: but can I improve?_

_23:09 Me:_ _of course_ _you can_ _tennie,_ _theres_ _absolutely nothing you_ _cant_ _do_

_23:09 Me: id know,_ _ive_ _been with you for long enough to see_

_23:09 Me: I love you the most in the universe, never forget that baby, and never doubt y love for you, or yourself for that matter_

_23:09 Tennie: I love you too_

_23:10 Tennie: come back home soon_

_23:10 Me: 2 days and_ _im_ _all yours_

_23:09 Me: just 2 days and_ _ill_ _be home with you_

_***_

The next morning, Ten woke up earlier than usual, dressing in his gym clothes. He had breakfast, once more stealing some of Moon’s milk to pour into his cereal. The man made some effort though, scavenging for whatever fruit he had laying around; he did manage to find a container of blueberries and three strawberries that looked edible. He added those to his meal, feeling energised for today. 

Last night Ten had a lot of time to think, to work through things by himself. He stayed at the dance studio for hours upon hours, only getting back home after three. Considering that, he probably should have stayed in bed for a bit longer since he slept for no more than four hours. Still, Ten couldn’t stay in bed. It was like the man had gone through a revelation in the dance studio, his body moving by itself to a song that didn’t exist. One of the reasons Ten fell in love with dance in the first place was because he could express himself without words, his body doing all the work. And that’s what had happened in the late hours of the night. 

Ten’s body ached, especially his knees after doing a lot more floor work that he was used to in the past. He struggled at times, but that only added to the overall story behind his dance. He was stiff, trapped and out of his comfort zone. He was stuck in the world he had created for himself, and now he had to break free of the constraints he had put on himself. It was a battle, a battle with himself. One side knew the truth, and the other wanted to hold onto the fantasy he had crafted because that’s all he knew, it was the only way he could cope with his own problems. If he could blame everything on everyone but himself then he wouldn’t have to look within himself, to understand that all he had to do was admit his own faults. 

He was the reason everyone left him. He was the reason behind his own misery. He was the one who made life difficult. It wasn’t everyone that was the problem, it was just him. _Friends._ Friends aren’t a sham, they’re the opposite. Friends are people who care for you and you care for. You find comfort and joy in each other’s presence. People want to have friends without ulterior motives, and Ten had to understand that because the sooner he did, the sooner he’d stop feeling alone in this world. 

It had taken him far too long to realise that. And, as Ten started at himself in the mirror last night, panting and drenched in sweat, Ten really wanted to be with a friend. He wanted to spill his guts out to someone, and when he had the chance to, he fucked it up. The man cried, curling up in a ball on the cold floor, feeling completely lost. 

Instead of going to the gym today, Ten planned on going to his dance studio, wanting to find his purpose. Once, when he was young, he wanted to be a teacher because he wanted to shape the youth, to give them hope and let them dream of a bright and promising future. When that didn’t work out as planned, he and Taeyong bought the studio. Maybe Ten wouldn't teach the kids about literacy or algebra, but at least he’d help them work towards their goal, whatever it may be. There was a sense of commitment Ten felt towards the kids coming into his studio, and the year of inactivity had firstly built up into shame, yet now it grew to determination to just _do something._ Ten was set on running a lesson today, or at least observing a class in session. 

So, with his mind set on his task, Ten left to his studio. If he was going to fix his life, then he’d have to take it step by step. 

_***_

_08:45 Me: [image attached]_

_08:45 Me: look at them_

_08:45_ _Yongie:_ _youre_ _at the dance studio?_

_08:45 Me: yup! I want to teach the kids but_ _im_ _still too stiff and rusty_

_08:45 Me: give it a month though and_ _ill_ _be back to normal_

_08:45_ _Yongie: that’s great baby! Just, please don’t over work yourself_ _tennie_

_08:45 Me: I_ _wont, trust me_

_08:46 Me: I know we never properly talked about what happened back then_

_08:46 Me: but_ _im_ _better now, or at least I think I am_

_08:46 Me: back then I was_ _thinking_ _too much of all the bad possibilities, but now_ _im_ _better_

_08:46_ _Yongie: that’s great to hear_ _tennie_

_08:46_ _Yongie: in that case, I_ _cant_ _wait to see the best dancer in the world back in action_

_08:46 Me: ugh so dramatic_

_08:46_ _Yongie:_ _ill_ _be back tomorrow at 10am so you better take me to the studio_

_08:46 Me: …..._ _youre_ _lucky I love you_

_***_

After a long day, Ten headed back home, his smile never faltering. He stayed for quite some time, helping out with some paper work in the office and also joining in on actual dance lessons. To say that he missed this would be an understatement. Ten _needed_ this. He needed to dance and to see the overjoyed grins on his student’s faces as Ten made them feel like stars. 

One thing Ten took pride in when it came to his dance studio was the method of teaching offered; nagging and pointing out flaws was one thing, and whilst it did work, it would often demoralise a person, which is why Ten ensured that for each comment on something that wasn’t going quite well, he’d include something that was good. Instead of bombarding his students with an onslaught of: _you’re_ _off beat, don’t slouch, wrong footing, too slow_ and _too stiff,_ Ten included plenty of _look how you improved_ and so on. There was nothing more magical that seeing a student take the praise to heart, putting in all their effort to ensure they can hear more praise. 

The staff at Ten’s dance studio were also happy to see their boss, treating him like an old friend, asking how he’s been and if he missed them all. The man couldn’t contain his grin as Seulgi – the first dance teacher he hired – threw he arms over the man’s shoulder, pulling him close, teasing the man like no time has passed between the last time they saw each other. Ten felt warm, safe. He was surrounded by people who, despite not really talking much over his year of absence, he would consider... friends. It was weird. Absolutely weird to think about it. Ten, the man who didn’t believe in friendships, who opposed getting to know people, had friends he had forgotten about due to his self-pity and hatred of the world. They were here all along, and Ten was too scared to admit it. 

Throughout the day, Ten doted on the one student that had made his heart swell. He looked so different to how he did when Ten last saw him. Park Jisung was a prodigy, Ten knew it the first moment he laid eyes on him. Jisung had his own unique style, his vibrant colour that would definitely outshine everyone the moment he got up on stage. Ten came to the boy over the course of the day, giving him tips and talking to the boy, seeing his younger self in the boy. He was filled with passion, a fire burning brightly within him, a spark in his lively eyes. It was an absolute pleasure to teach the boy, and Ten couldn’t wait to see the boy achieve his dreams. 

Ten threw his bags on the floor, stripping out of his clothes in the hallway as he walked to the bathroom, desperately in need of a shower. He felt icky and his limbs ached, a satisfying burn which let him know of everything he did today. It by far beat the ache his body felt when he did nothing but lazed around the apartment, only moving to grab snacks when his ass became numb from sitting for too long. 

Quickly, Ten grabbed his shampoo and lathered his hair in the bubbles which smelled of lavender and mint. He always loved the fresh aroma, picking his toiletries simply based on smell, nothing else. He massaged his scalp, letting out a sigh of relief as tension escaped his frame from the hot water. Taeyong could never comprehend Ten’s showering habits; the younger always either showered in water which felt like he had just boiled it in the kettle and poured it all over himself, or he rinsed himself in water so cold it would give the water at the North Pole a run for its money. The older refused to take showers with Ten if it meant stepping into either hell or the arctic tundra, so shower sex wasn’t that common for them unless Taeyong was the first one in. 

As Ten scrubbed the suds into his hair, he stared at the tile in front of him, focusing far too intently. He let his mind wander, the water washing over him, cleansing him of everything. There was still the elephant in the room: Yuta. Ten had been harsh on the man, but a part of him thought he had the right to. Yuta cared too deeply about Ten’s private life for it to be normal; the man bordered on obsessive, prying into things he didn’t need to, and Ten felt like maybe he shouldn’t have been so easy to give into Yuta’s pleas. 

Now Yuta knew where Ten lived, who he was dating, and other random facts about him, and when compared to what Ten knew about Yuta it felt wrong. It was disproportional. But surely, Yuta couldn’t be _bad._ Too involved? Yes. But a truly bad person? Ten couldn’t imagine that, no matter how much easier it would be for him if it was true. 

Ten sighed. He was too mean to the man. If Ten wanted to move past everything and lessen the heaviness he felt, he had to apologise to Yuta. He only meant well, even if he went about it in rather questionable ways. There were a few issues though. Ten didn’t really have a way to communicate with Yuta, having refused to give out his phone number to the over friendly man. Though... that didn’t mean that Yuta didn’t give Ten his number. He must have slipped in a note or something, unless he actually respected Ten and his boundaries. 

“Why is this so difficult?” Ten groaned, pressing his forehead to the steamed-up tile. “Does the universe just hate me?” Probably. But Ten wasn’t going to just give up like that. He was somewhat in the wrong, and if he was going to become a better person then he needed to make things right. But how could he find Yuta? Would he show up to the gym tomorrow, or would he not? Was he going to avoid Ten or was he different? So many questions, so many uncertainties. 

Ten could just let them all go and worry about them tomorrow, but he had other plans for tomorrow. If he doesn’t fix things now, then he will most likely push them to the side, forgetting his problem until it is covered in dust and cobwebs, left to its own devices. Of course, forgetting about everything was much easier than actually putting in the effort to mend a cracked relationship – if you could even call it that – but Ten would end up hating himself even more if he didn’t at least _try_ to do something. And so, the man scrubbed his hair harder, groaning as he hurried to get himself clean. 

Now showered, Ten dried himself off, getting dressed into whatever he pulled out first. It was surprisingly easy to create an outfit that either looked atrocious – the state of high-end fashion was an absolute mess these days – or something that cost way too much to leave the house in for a simple stroll. Luckily Ten managed to grab something simple, throwing the loose, almost silk like, button up shirt on. He squeezed his legs into a pair of black jeans, and he completed his look by adding a few jewels and styling his hair. Yes, he had no actual plan as to what he was doing, but he could at the very least look good as he wondered the streets in search of a man he knew close to nothing about. 

There were a few places he could look around in hope of finding Yuta, and it may have been a long shot, but Ten swears he heard Yuta rambling about meeting with his friends for a drink. Did he catch _when_ he was supposed to meet his friends? No. But... it was worth a shot. Ten called himself a lift, not taking his car because he had a feeling he might end up drunk and he’d much rather not have to deal with the whole car fiasco. 

So, what was Ten going to do? Well, if he doesn’t end up finding Yuta tonight then he will most likely never look for him again. As much as Ten would like to fool himself into believing that he’s changed and that he is different, the reality of the situation is that Ten will give up the moment he has an excuse to. Of course, it would be great if he didn’t have to give up, because then that would mean that he can act like he’s a changed man, actively going out of his way to apologise and to be the better person. But was he really? Well, that is highly questionable and up to you to decide. However, in this moment, Ten thinks he’s doing the right thing, and that’s the only thing that keeps him going. If not now, then most likely never. 

With his course set on the nightlife district, Ten checked his phone during the drive, watching as minutes ticked by on the clock. In less than a day – fourteen hours and fifty-seven minutes to be exact – Taeyong would be back, and with him a consistent routine. When Taeyong comes back, it’ll be like a weight has been lifted off from Ten’s shoulders; the younger will finally have his boyfriend back and he’ll be back to normal, hopefully a better normal. 

Sure, there was the lack of communication they had experienced, but they can go through that. After all, Taeyong has already apologised, and so has Ten. That was a good step. Nothing they can’t get through. Was Taeyong not telling Ten about the deal a shitty thing to do? Yes. Could they move past it? Yes. Money has, and most likely will always be a sensitive subject for the two, even with all the money they had amongst themselves. Considering their past, Taeyong most likely didn’t want to burden Ten with anything, which whilst a nice and considerate gesture, was also a bad move on Taeyong’s behalf. But as stated earlier: it’s nothing they can’t talk through. 

Soon enough, Ten found himself standing outside, looking at flashing neon lights down a lively street of Seoul. Where should he start? 

*** 

Taeyong grinned, packing the last of his bags. Mark had helped him out before he went to grab both of them something to eat, though his help was rather unhelpful. Mark was great at many things which is why he was Taeyong’s personal assistant, but folding clothes in an organised manner wasn’t one of his strong points. Taeyong had teased the man, but that only resulted in Mark becoming extra focused on his folding, and that just wasn’t fun to look at, which is why Taeyong sent the man out to look for something they could both enjoy. 

In less than a day, Taeyong will finally find himself besides his boyfriend. That’s honestly all he could dream of. Taeyong couldn’t wait to finally throw his arms over his boyfriend, embracing him until the younger couldn’t breathe. He wanted to smother Ten in all his love, making up for all the touches and kisses they have missed over Taeyong’s absence. 

This will hopefully be the last one of his long, draining trips. Now that Taeyong can sleep well at night, fully reassured by the fact he has found a trustworthy investor, everything was going to be so much easier. Now, Taeyong will be able to keep all his promises to Ten. And yes, getting to this point involved doing something Taeyong really didn’t want to do: lying. However, it had to be done. Ten would be mad for a while, but after a while he’ll come to realise that Taeyong meant only the best. 

Besides, it’s not like Taeyong isn’t going to try his hardest to make it right with Ten, through any means it takes. Fingers crossed, the trip to Paris on their anniversary may do wonders for them and their relationship. Taeyong wondered if he should take the dive and buy the engagement ring he’s had his eyes on for a while. Was now the right time? After all, the only reason Taeyong had held back in the first place was because he wasn’t a hundred percent sure that his business was going to last for the long run, but now, with the deal secured... maybe he was sure. 

So many years, filled with loses and triumphs. Surely, it would be fitting to propose now. They could get married abroad, have a grand celebration with their friends and family. They could celebrate everything they’ve been through. Of course, a wedding takes time to plan, but Taeyong has the right to fantasise now. He can’t even begin to imagine a life without Ten. But imagining a new chapter with the love of his life, the light of his universe, the apple of his eye? Now that was something beautiful. Taeyong will find the best wedding planner on the face of the planet because that’s exactly what Ten deserved: the best. 

The man grinned, neatly folding his shirt and placing it down into his suitcase. He couldn't wait to have his daydreams become reality. 

*** 

Quite frankly, Ten was tired. The number of bars and clubs he visited was ridiculous, and Ten just about had it. After this one, Ten was done. If he can’t find Yuta now, oh well. If Yuta doesn’t show up at the gym from now on? Great. And if he does, the Ten likes to imagine he’ll apologise then, but that will most likely never happen. He’ll apologise whilst everything is fresh in his mind, but the moment he doesn’t have the fire to be better and to change in him, Yuta will be nothing more than a questionable speck in Ten’s past. 

And so, Ten found himself at a familiar bar. 

“Worth a shot,” the man muttered, sighing before he walked inside. The first time he came here was with Kun after the man needed to vent about his job. Then Sicheng tagged alone, and after a while this became their go to place to drink. Majority of the time, Ten was too drunk to take in the surroundings, especially the outside. Actually, this was the place he saw his two friends for the last time. He still hasn’t heard anything from Sicheng, and all he has to go off is a brief call he had with Kun after he got stood up. Whatever _family problem_ Sicheng had, it seemed like it was more serious than Ten and Kun were led on to believe. Whenever the man was ready though, his friends were there for him. 

The inside of the bar was pretty decent, having its own distinct charm. However, it lacked one thing that Ten was after. And that one thing was none other than an annoying man called Yuta. 

This was it. This was the end of Ten’s adventure. He tried, and nobody can tell him that he didn’t. So, admitting defeat, Ten sat by the bar, propping his chin up as his yes lazily scanned the rustic bar. It was obviously new but made to look old, something akin to the traditional pubs in Great Britain, the ones with stupid names like _The Drunken Duck_ or something ridiculous. But it did have an inviting atmosphere. Ten wouldn’t mind a drink right about now. He’s had a long day after all. 

And that’s when it hit him. 

On that fateful night, after Ten had rushed out of this very bar, he met Yuta. Where exactly? Just a few buildings down, in a nightclub Ten has yet to step foot in. Would he be there? The chances weren’t really high considering the number of clubs scattered around the city, but it was worth a shot. After all, Ten has seen Yuta come out of the nightclub in question, so he may have gone there again. It was worth a shot. His last attempt. He should just get it done and over with, even if he doesn’t find Yuta amongst the throngs of people swaying from side to side, mind numbing music blaring from the numerous speakers. 

Ten pushed himself up, rushing out of the bar. He headed over to the nightclub, pausing to take in the entrance of the building. “I don’t discriminate,” Ten muttered to himself, a faint chuckle coming out too. Well, Ten didn’t expect Yuta to frequent a predominately gay club, but here he was. The neon sign was bright, the red light illuminating the building, soaking Ten in the deep florescent colour. The man took in a deep breath, the summer night air filling him up. Here goes nothing. 

He was about to enter, however he paused. All of a sudden, he felt... weird? A part of him wanted to go in, but another part was screaming at him to leave, a sense of dread nestling itself in the pit of his stomach. He was uneasy. For one reason or another, something was stopping him from entering. It’s not like Ten could see the future, but there was just _something_ that didn’t feel right to him. He wanted to turn back, but the moment he does that, all hope he has of trying again vanishes. The whole situation – Ten's decision to do better and change – was nothing but a flash in the pan; the outcome was going to be disappointing, no matter how much of a show Ten was going to put on to make himself believe he has the willpower to improve. 

Still, he had to try. And so, Ten made his way inside, passing the bouncer with ease. The club was rather packed, dozens upon dozens of bodies dancing and drinking and doing everything in between. To say that Ten hasn’t been to a place like this in a while would be an understatement. Usually, Ten prefers a simple drink with his friends, though back in the day he would have considered himself a party animal, especially before he settled down with Taeyong. The two men did go out from time to time, but after a while the urge to for such outings had slowly died down. Though, it was rather fun to make Taeyong jealous by acting clueless whenever someone flirted with Ten; at least that way Ten knew Taeyong still cared and wanted him. 

It was loud, music thumping through the sound system, the vibrations felt clearly in Ten’s body. The man wasn’t sure how he used to be able to stand such noise, a headache beginning to make itself known. Was he just too old or was the tiredness of all he’s done today finally kicking in? Either way, Ten wanted out as soon as possible. Preferably after finding Yuta and talking to him – hopefully outside, because Ten wasn’t looking forward to talking over the music. 

Ten manoeuvred himself through the horde of club goers, keeping his eyes on the lookout for a handsome but rather annoying man. He shouldn’t be so hard to find. 

Or at least that’s what Ten thought at first. Who knew searching a rather packed club for just one man by one man would end up being so tricky? Not only did Ten have to walk around and lookout for Yuta, he also had to deal with a multitude of men coming up to him, trying to hit on him, treating the man as if he was a fresh piece of meat ready to be devoured. Little did they know that Ten wasn’t the little helpless lamb they painted him to be. It did get annoying though, so Ten took one of his rings off and slid it onto his ring finger, simply lifting it up whenever anyone approached him. He was _not_ in the mood, and without Taeyong it just wasn’t fun. 

Ten had done about two laps of the club by the time he decided that Yuta just wasn’t here. He groaned, throwing his head back in annoyance. Looks like he really just wasted time running in circles, searching for a man that he wasn’t even sure was present. 

Still, Ten tried, and that’s what counted to him. And so, having done his job, Ten decided on a small drink to cheer himself up. He walked over to the bar, sitting himself down by a group of men chatting away. Overall, there were three of three of them. They seemed to be having fun, and Ten wondered if he should ask his friends out sometime – maybe not to a club, but just out in general. He could ask Kun and Sicheng, maybe the people from his dance studio too. Add if he was feeling masochistic, he could invite Doyoung and Jaehyun. The latter of the two was great; he and Ten were rather close, but they didn’t spend much time. Doyoung on the other hand was just... something else. Of course, the two were friends, but they did bicker quite a lot. Ten wasn’t sure if they ever even spent time alone. Someone was always with them, be it Kun or Taeyong, mostly out of the fear that the two men may end up killing one another if left alone for long enough. But they were still friends despite all that. 

Ten ordered himself a drink. He settled on something mild and fruity, not wanting to be hungover tomorrow. After all, Taeyong will be coming back and Ten didn’t want to be a walking corpse upon his boyfriend’s arrival. He received his drink soon after, taking a few sips as he pulled his phone out. He considered texting Taeyong, but stopped himself. Whilst he wanted to talk to the older man, he knew that they wouldn’t get anywhere. Taeyong was either packing or sleeping and Ten didn’t want to disrupt, especially since he had nothing to say. And, when he had nothing to say, their conversations through text would either die out or turn into something which should be kept in the confines of a private space. 

The man sighed, pocketing his phone before taking another sip of his drink. Maybe he should stop drinking. He drank too much as it is, and now that he’s back to dancing it would be a good idea to take care of his body in more ways than just working out. His diet as a whole was rathe terrible, and with the addition of alcohol his insides must be close to death. Luckily Taeyong was good at managing such things, cooking delicious meals for the both of them. Once he’s back, Ten is sure he’ll be back on track nutrition wise. 

“Where’s Woo?” A familiar voice asked, appearing out of seemingly nowhere. Ten whipped his head right round, finding himself looking at Yuta. The man’s hands seemed wet and Ten cursed at himself for not even thinking of checking the toilets. “And Hyuck?” 

“Hyuck felt sick,” one of the men answered. He was a large man, his build muscular. He was attractive – very much so – with his small face and prominent philtrum, his lips plump. “Woo drove him home,” he explained, making Yuta hum and nod. “He didn’t even drink that much so I hope Hyuck is fine.” 

“He’ll live,” another man stated. He looked younger than everyone else from what Ten could see of him. “He’s lived through three food poisonings in one month so he’ll get through this just fine.” 

“Let’s not forget who’s fault the food poisonings were,” the last man I the group said, looking at the previous man. He seemed the smallest out of the group of four, though he looked the most mature, his features distinct and strong. “Once I understand, but you managed to poison him _three_ times, Renjun.” 

“That was an honest mistake,” Renjun defended himself. “Besides, I haven’t cooked anything since then. Taeil, trust me, I don’t wanna kill anyone. At least not now.” 

The men continued their conversation and Ten observed, unsure as to how he should approach Yuta. Should he act like it was an accident, or should he say he’s been looking for him? Would that be weird though? Ten didn’t want to seem obsessed or like a stalker. If he pretended their meeting was a coincidence then that surely would be fine too. After all, the first time they met it was also a coincidence, so why shouldn’t it be one now? 

Ten zoned out, deep in thought. However, he was snapped back into reality when he heard Yuta calling his name. The two men locked eyes. Yuta looked pleasantly surprised at Ten’s presence, the corners of his mouth twitching up. Yuta hoped that Ten would find him; he wanted to believe that he was able to help Ten, and Ten’s arrival meant that he managed to do it. 

“What are you doing here?” Yuta asked, causing his friends to look at Ten, scanning the lonely man where he sat. 

“Just drinking,” Ten replied calmly, pretending he didn’t spend the past hour or so searching for Yuta. “You?” He asked, trying to keep the conversation going until he managed to bring himself to the point where he was able to apologise to Yuta. 

“Hanging out with friends,” Yuta replied. 

Ten nodded, looking down at his drink, thinking of what the fuck he should do. This was different t how he imagined it. He pictured this scene differently; he thought that he’d pull Yuta out and talk about what happened when Yuta came over. He was going to apologise for what he said and how he acted and hopefully Yuta would also realise that he had made some mistakes. However, right now it didn’t look like he was getting anywhere. 

“Say,” Yuta continued, tilting his head to the side, “would you like to join us?” He awaited an answer, eyes somewhat pleading Ten to say yes. 

It was worth a shot. And so, Ten forced a smile, moving himself over to one of the empty seats, sitting by the tall handsome man from before. 

Yuta introduced his friends to Ten, seemingly happy that he was finally able to comfortably spend time with Ten who, over the brief period in which they have known each other, has never wanted to do anything with Yuta out of his own free will. Now, Ten was sat with Yuta and his group, opening himself up to strangers. 

Yuta’s friends consisted of Johnny, an accountant at a fairly known company. Then there was the eldest of the group: Taeil, a high school teacher. Ten grew a liking to Taeil over their short time talking together, finding the man hilarious in his own way. And then there was Renjun, the youngest of the bunch. From what it seemed, the boy was still in university. Ten didn’t quite understand what the boy was studying but he nodded and pretended he understood the words coming out from Renjun’s mouth. 

The men were likeable and they welcomed Ten without hesitation, including him in their own conversations. It was a rather peculiar feeling having people who were complete strangers to you treat you like a friend not even minutes after meeting for the first time. Ten wondered if anyone else would be so warm towards him if he decided to open himself up more often. Was it really the case that not everybody was as bad at Ten made them out to be? Maybe people weren’t so cruel after all. 

Ten had managed to down his entire drink in a matter of minutes, the company speeding up the process significantly. Now, with one drink down, it only made sense to have another one. Just one more wouldn’t kill him, Ten knew his limits and so he told himself _only one more._

Of course, the drink Ten had gotten himself was smaller compared to his first one, meaning that he had gone through it rather quickly. The man stared at his glass, watching the condensation trail down the glass, pooling at the bottom, forming a circle around the circumference of the glass. He barely felt intoxicated; he could probably be able to still drive since he was still so sober. _No!_ Ten was clearly overstepping the line he drew out for himself. It was supposed to be one and _only_ one drink, yet here he was, two drinks down and still contemplating more. To make it worse, he was trying to lie to himself, kid himself into believing he was absolutely fine. 

“You done?” Taeil asked, noticing the way Ten was clutching onto his empty glass. There was tenderness in his eyes, speaking softly as to not bring attention to Ten. The older man’s cheeks were tinted pink, the results of his own alcohol consumption being made obvious. 

“You offering to buy me one?” Ten asked jokingly, though he was awaiting a reply, hopefully a yes – _Ten, no!_

“No,” Taeil replied, causing Ten to tilt his head in confusion, surprised by the abrupt and firm response. “I heard you muttering,” he stated, still not making much sense to Ten. “One more,” Taeil elaborated. “You said only one more, and I’m not really one to enable.” 

“I’m not an alcoholic,” Ten defended himself, getting overly defensive over the matter. 

“I never said you were,” Taeil replied, aiming to calm the younger down. “I just don’t want you to regret anything, you know? Last thing I want is someone – in this case you’re the someone – ending up hating themselves in the morning because they went overboard. Trust me, I have to deal with his shit practically every time we go out drinking and it is _not_ fun.” Taeil pointed over to Johnny, the said man in the middle of taking a shot. 

Okay, so Taeil was by far Ten’s favourite. Yuta couldn’t even compete. 

Ten looked down at his glass again, forcing up a smile. Taeil was right; he shouldn’t do things he would regret in the morning. And so, the man decided on simply spinning his glass around, the ice cubes clinking against one another. Ten could feel Taeil’s eyes were still on him, and for some odd reason that made him comfortable He wasn’t looking at Ten like he was a mess, nor just another hunk of meat like so many others around. Taeil felt like... a friend. 

“You married?” Taeil asked suddenly, spotting the ring adorning Ten’s slender finger. The man in question abruptly looked up at Taeil and then back at his own hand, only now realising he never took the finger off and put it back onto the correct finger. Ten quickly pulled the band off, putting it where it belonged. “Sorry,” Taeil apologised, surprising Taeil. “I didn’t mean to pry.” 

“You’re not,” Ten assured, finding his own response a shock. But it was true; Taeil wasn’t prying, he was just simply curious. The question wasn’t an attack, it held no malice. It was just a simple question coming from a place of genuine curiosity. “And no, I’m not. Yet. But he might propose. I don’t know.” The man looked down, the ghost of a smile appearing on his face. 

Taeil grinned, leaning on the bar to look at Ten as if he was awaiting the whole story. “So there’s someone?” Ten hummed, a smile creeping up on him, and once it appeared it didn’t vanish. “Of course you are! Someone as handsome and sweet as you, it would be a crime if you _were_ single. Do tell! How long have you been together?” 

“Well... seven years soon,” Ten explained. “We met in university, and then we lived together.” 

“That’s so sweet,” Taeil cooed, finding this too adorable, even if he knew close to nothing. “I’ve been with my idiot for a bit longer than that,” Taeil explained, looking over at said idiot. Ten was somewhat surprised to see the man in question was Johnny. Ten would have never guessed judging by the way they looked; Johnny was boisterous and hyped up, and Taeil just seemed so reserved. “I know what you’re thinking,” Taeil said, brining Ten’s attention right back to him. “He’s an overgrown puppy when he’s sober.” 

“Sounds cute,” Ten stated, a grin played across his lips. “How long then?” 

“Nine.” 

“Nine years?” Ten exclaimed in awe. “That’s a while.” 

“Yeah, yeah it is,” Taeil agreed softly, smiling as he looked back to Johnny. “I have a ring and all, but I never know when to ask him. Like what’s the perfect moment? And I mean, is there even a point?” 

Ten shrugged. “It’s a promise,” Ten said, putting his two cents in. “Personally, I find security in the idea, you know? Until death do us apart, and all that mumbo jumbo.” Taeil chuckled, nodding along. “And like, even if you’re a thousand miles away, you’ll always have them by your side You have this sign that they’ll come back. At least ideally. You can never be sure, but it does bring comfort. I could have a million rings, but only one would mean something.” 

Taeil beamed. “You should write love poetry,” he joked. 

“I’m far from a poet,” Ten stated. “And honestly, whenever the time feels right will be perfect. You could be just brushing your teeth and pull out the ring.” 

“That’s unique,” Taeil laughed, bringing his own drink to his lips. “But I do prefer it to Yuta’s idea of putting it in his food. He barely pays attention to what he eats as it is, I don’t want him to choke.” 

“A stupid idea,” Ten agreed. “But that much is expected from Yuta.” 

Taeil nodded, finding some truth in Ten’s words. Their short exchange came to an end soon after when Taeil finished his own drink, asking for a refill, cutting the conversation short. 

But speaking of Yuta, there was still one thing Ten needed to do. Said thing was what he set out to do in the first place: talk. Considering how he should go about it, Ten just decided it would be the easiest and fastest if he just asked Yuta to go outside with him for a minute or two. He just wanted to talk, allowing them both to acknowledge their mistakes. He didn’t know why he found it so hard to make the first move, why he felt awkward about it all. He wanted to do the right thing, but when it finally came to actually going through with it Ten struggled. 

The words got stuck in Ten’s throat, unable to come out and form a coherent utterance. Yuta must have noticed Ten’s attempt, his eyebrow raised as he observed the man stumbling over his own tongue. It might have been the alcohol, or it may have been Ten’s inability to fess up to his errors. If there was one thing that Yuta was more than confident about, it was the fact that Ten is physically unable to apologise, at least face to face. Did he know the word _sorry_? Of course, however he has yet to say it properly to Yuta. It’s not like he doesn’t have the capacity for it; it’s simple enough to say, but it’s the genuine intention behind those words which are holding Ten back. Even if he knows he knows, even if he _really_ is sorry, Yuta doubts that Ten can actually express his remorse. 

Yuta tapped Ten on the shoulder, putting the man out of his misery. Ten stumbled, a muffled noise escaping past his lips, eyes looking up to Yuta. “You wanna go outside?” Yuta asked, earning himself a quick response in the form of a nod. “Come on the,” he prompted, standing up from his seat and excusing the both of them to his friends. “We’ll be back in a minute. Ten just needs some fresh air.” 

The other three men made a few noises, letting Yuta know they understood. Johnny winked at Yuta as the man placed his arm around Ten’s waist, guiding him out of the club. Taeil slapped the man’s arm, shaking his head no as to not give Johnny or Yuta any stupid ideas. 

Yuta led Ten out, stopping to stand outside the club. There were still a few people hanging around the entrance, and so Ten decided to pull Yuta down a back alley. It was far from pretty but it had to make do. Ten leaned his back against the wall, however he quickly realised his mistake as he felt tinges of pain on his back from the rough surface. Besides, he didn’t want to dirty his shirt. Yuta was stood directly in front of him, their closeness not the most comfortable to Ten. 

“So,” Yuta started after the deafening silence between them got too much. “What do you want to say? Or am I wasting my time right n-” 

“I’m sorry!” Ten interrupted, his apology abrupt and louder than expected. Once the words were out, Ten looked down at his shoes, kicking at the ground beneath him. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, this time softer. It felt strange. His chest tightened and he didn’t know what to do with his hands. “About what I said, and how I’ve been acting.” 

Yuta, surprised by the sudden outburst, blinked a few times as he processed the fact that Ten actually found it within him to apologise. A thick cloud hung over them, tension almost tangible. There was silence, and with each passing second, Ten was beginning to become clearly agitated. Yuta not saying anything was causing Ten’s heart to pound, hands sweating for whatever reason. Why was it so hot? Was it just Ten or was it hard to breathe right about now? 

The taller of the two men hummed, putting an end to Ten’s suffering. And whilst Ten wasn’t panicking right now, he was peeved. 

_“Really?”_ He asked, annoyed by Yuta’s lackluster response. “Is a hum all you have? Seriously?” 

“What were you expecting?” 

Ten opened his mouth, closing it soon after akin to a trashcan. 

“Thanks for the apology,” Yuta said, taking a slight step forward towards Ten. The other man stepped back until his back was once more pressed against the wall. A million thoughts rushed through his mind; majority of them not good. Ten didn’t like how close Yuta was standing to him, and he didn’t know what Yuta was intending on doing. Yuta inched his face even closer to Ten, the man trapped between him and the wall looking to the side in hope he could avoid any stunt Yuta tried to pull. “But you could do better,” Yuta suddenly added, his hot breath hitting Ten’s ear. “For now I’ll accept it,” he added, stepping away from Ten, giving the man the chance to catch his breath. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ten questioned, voice laced with displeasure at Yuta’s antics. 

Yuta smiled, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s not the strongest apology I’ve heard,” Yuta announced, laughter bubbling as Ten’s face turned into one of disbelief. “You should see yourself right now,” he continued as Ten scowled, arms crossed over his chest. 

“What’s so funny? I apologised!” 

“Congrats,” Yuta said sarcastically. “But a simple sorry isn’t gonna cut it after how you’ve been treating me. But don’t worry, we’ll work on it.” 

Ten huffed, eyes sharp and cold as he stared at Yuta. Even now, Ten didn’t know why he even bothered with the man. Yuta was annoying and an absolute pain in Ten’s ass. Yet still, Ten came back. As Yuta laughed, Ten bit down on the inside of his cheek, unsure of all the emotions bubbling deep within him. 

“Anyway,” Yuta continued, the laughter dying out on his lips. “Should we go back inside? Or are you gonna leave now?” 

Ten considered. What would Yuta want him to do? If he left right now, would he be doing exactly what Yuta be expecting him to do? If so, then Ten would stay because he wasn’t going to be predictable, not when it came to Yuta. The man probably thought he had Ten all figured out, and Ten leaving – doing as Yuta expected him to do – would only satisfy him. So, if he stayed, he’d be doing the opposite of what is expected of him. Unless that’s what Yuta knew was going to happen. In which case, that meant that Yuta had cracked Ten’s psyche, and Ten didn’t want that. 

_How_ on earth has Yuta managed to crawl his way into Ten’s head? Why was he making Ten second guess himself? Just _who_ was he? Who did he think he was? 

“I’ll stay,” Ten announced, trying to read Yuta’s expression, however the man was practically unreadable. Damn him – and this horrendous lighting. “But only for Taeil,” the man added. “Don’t think I’m staying for you.” 

“And here I was thinking you actually wanted to be my friend,” Yuta chuckled, following after the shorter man who had already started to head back in. Ten didn’t say anything to him after that, simply walking back into the club, making a beeline to the bar where he found himself sitting prior. 

There was one issue though. 

“Jungwoo,” Ten said coldly, eyes sharp daggers as they observed the man sat in the same seat he was in before. The man in question looked up, a dumbfounded look written across his face, clearly surprised by the sudden encounter. Kim Jungwoo was not supposed to be here; he wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near Ten, not after what he did to the man. 

Kim Jungwoo was a backstabber, capable of doing anything to get his way, even if it meant hurting the people who loved him. Ten unfortunately learned that the hard way. The two men were friends for a substantial amount of their youths, being what could only be described as best friends. They were there for each other through thick and thin, supporting one another with their goals and aspirations, no matter how absurd or small they might have been. 

Jungwoo was the first person Ten felt comfortable enough to fully be himself, embracing the side of himself that would have had others turning their gazes away, refusing to associate with him. Jungwoo helped Ten with accepting himself, every little bit he may have found completely unlovable. He was the one who told Ten to go for it when his heart was yearning for Taeyong. He was the one who Ten would turn to whenever things turned south between the couple. Jungwoo was Ten’s pillar, and in the blink of an eye that support came crashing down. 

Ten was naïve back then. 

When the person you trust with your life asks for a favour you don’t tend to question it. The trust Ten had for Jungwoo was unbreakable back then, yet Jungwoo took Ten’s kindness for granted. Right as things began to turn for the better in Ten’s life, Jungwoo had to come and ruin it. Taeyong’s start-up had become the primary source of income for the two boyfriends, and at that point Ten felt it was only right to help his friend out when he was struggling. It seemed like the best thing to do at the time; Ten himself had felt the struggle and fear of not being able to make ends meet, and so he told Jungwoo that whenever he needed support, Ten had his back. Maybe that was a mistake. After all, money was enough for someone to stab you in the back, even someone you viewed as a brother. 

“Ten,” Jungwoo said, voice filled with indescribable emotion. His usually light voice felt heavy, trembling at the sight of the man in front of him. It was like he couldn’t breathe, choking up on memories and visions of the past. A past that came to a heart-breaking abrupt end. An end with no goodbye, just tears and harsh words, knives cutting off any attachments that may have ever been between them. “Ten...” the man whispered in disbelief, his face pale and eyes glazing over with a glassy sheen. 

“You know each other?” Johnny asked, the drunk slur to his words making him sound even more confused. “Thas dope,” he added, unaware of the tension. Ten wasn’t sure if the man was incapable of reading the room or if he was just that intoxicated. 

Ten clenched his jaw and fists, feet planted firmly on the ground. This shouldn’t be happening, and definitely not like this. None of what had happened since Taeyong last left him felt like real life, especially the parts he had spent with Yuta. 

Yuta. 

This couldn’t be a mere coincidence. Surely, Yuta was behind this. It all made sense now; everything about Yuta felt off the moment he stumbled out of the club that fateful night. That’s it! He had been planning this all along. He wanted to torment Ten, and what better way than first making Ten let his walls down and then when things were good, he would bring back what was probably the most painful memory of Ten’s life. What had caused Yuta to do this was unknown, but it had to be bad. Maybe they met in the past, or maybe Yuta had history with Taeyong, taking out his anger on Ten. Oh Yuta... how vile could a human get? 

“Yes-” Jungwoo began, getting interrupted by Ten’s sharp “unfortunately”. 

The men sat at the bar became silent; even Johnny got the clue on what was happening. At this point it wasn’t difficult to tell the hostility between them, all of it coming from Ten. Jungwoo, unlike Ten, looked oddly hopeful, his features lighter than Ten’s tensed up body, an untouchable aura around him. 

“Ten...” Jungwoo called softly, the words airy. He was on a sinking ship, calling out for help, grasping onto his lifeline no matter how futile it may seem. The man still had hope and not even Ten’s foul attitude could stop him from trying. “Please Ten, can we-” 

“No,” Ten replied sternly, shooting daggers at the man pleading for as little as a moment free from anger. “You had your chance and you wasted it.” 

“You never let me finish!” Jungwoo exclaimed in despair. “You never gave me a chance to explain anything, Ten! You didn’t listen!” 

Now that Jungwoo was slowly letting go of his composed self, his friends looked at him with wide eyes, shocked by this change. Ten used to be like them too; he too used to think that Jungwoo was incapable of raising his voice, that he was incapable of getting mad. Yet Jungwoo was capable of that and far more. 

Ten smirked, biting down on his bottom lip, arms folded over his chest. “Did I not? Why would I ever listen to nonsensical lies?” He asked, his voice laced with venom. He took a small step forward, an attempt at provoking Jungwoo. Seeing this, Yuta felt his stomach churn. Never in the time they’ve spent together, including the meaningless threats did Yuta genuinely feel intimidated – possibly even scared – of Ten. Yuta didn’t even know what Ten was supposed to be feeling; was the man sad or annoyed or filled with indescribable rage? 

“I never lied to you,” Jungwoo argued, placing strong emphasis on his words just to have the slightest chance of convincing Ten he was telling the truth. “You blew everything out of proportion and never gave me a chance to explain! I never stole from you, I never tried to fuck Taeyong, and I definitely didn’t abuse your trust and _kindness.”_

Ten scoffed. It didn’t take a genius to tell Jungwoo was being sarcastic at the last part. _Kindness._

“If you’re trying to convince me, then maybe don’t insult me in the same breath,” Ten advised. "Makes it harder to believe you.” 

Jungwoo locked eyes with Ten, annoyance rising to the top. It was as if riling people up was Ten’s talent. He was capable of cracking even Jungwoo’s typically calm and reserved demeanour, changing him into a completely different person. 

Jungwoo took a step closer to Ten, taking the man head on. “I’m not gonna sugar coat how much of an ass you are,” he spat, glaring at Ten. “You never listen to anyone,” he stated, digging his pointer against Ten’s chest. Ten slapped his hand away, not appreciating the contact. “You have a fucking victim complex,” he continued, “always wanting to be the one who’s been wronged, but you never realise you’re the one wronging others.” 

“You’re wrong,” Ten disagreed. “You’re the one who thinks they’re always right! You stabbed me in the back! I trusted you! Did that mean nothing to you? You just threw it away because you were jealous.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ, _Ten!”_ Jungwoo exclaimed. “Do you not hear yourself? I told you I didn’t do it! It’s not my fault you can’t admit it was your mistake – don't say it!” The man ushered, knowing Ten would surely retort with _my mistake to trust you_ or some other bullshit like that. He was right. That was exactly what Ten was about to say. “You can’t manage your fucking finances and I was the perfect scapegoat for you, isn’t that right? You see a dip in your account and blame the one person you sent a couple won to help pay rent, right? But you couldn’t admit it was your own fault, one of your _investments_ that had milked you dry, and not your best friend. Isn’t that so?” 

“You don’t know a fucking thing!” Ten shot back, yet it was futile. How could Ten possibly fight back when he had no artillery? 

Jungwoo laughed, gripping at his hair. “You’re beyond gone,” he said. “There’s no point trying to get through to you,” he concluded. “You’re so convinced by your twisted view of things that there’s literally no help getting you out. You did this to yourself.” 

Ten gulped, biting so hard on his lip that he was about to draw blood. He began to tap his foot, uncomfortable by the situation he found himself in, the eyes glued to him. He could feel the disappointment in Taeil’s gaze, he was sure the man hated him now. How could he not? He was like everybody else, and Ten shouldn’t have let his guard around him. 

“But you know,” Jungwoo added, “I do kinda feel bad for you. I can’t imagine how sad of a life you must lead; you can’t trust anyone and you can’t listen.” He sighed. “I don’t know how Taeyong has lasted as long as he has-” 

“Jungwoo!” Taeil butted in, scolding his friend. “You’re out of line,” he pointed out. He turned to Ten, his mouth open as he was beginning to form words, yet he was stopped when the man rushed out, leaving everyone without the slightest goodbye. 

The temperature felt harsher now, the air colder than it was the last time Ten had stepped outside. However, his hot tears offered him some comfort as they trailed down his cheeks. He wiped them away with the back of his hand, shooting harsh looks at any strangers looking at him with even the smallest change in expression. Ten wasn’t interested in what they had to think of him, and he’d much rather have them not looking at him as he stormed off, tears pouring one by one with a will of their own. 

He shouldn’t have come in the first place. He should have known that Yuta was trouble the moment he met him. He should have known that nothing good would have come out of this. But to think Yuta would have stooped so low as to do this. Whatever his motives were, Ten couldn’t believe his audacity. However, if Ten was to commend Yuta on one thing, it would be his ability to make Ten trust him that small amount, to believe that he wasn’t actually a bad person. That’s what you call an Oscar worthy performance. 

Ten continued walking in his quick pace, the salty wetness from his eyes creating streaks upon his cheeks. He wanted to get as far away from this place as he could, so much so that he didn’t even bother taking his phone out to call a cab because he had no idea how far he’d go before he deemed the distance far enough. 

Yet he couldn’t get away, no matter how hard he tried. Not when Yuta hadn’t given up yet. 

“Ten!” Yuta called out, running after the man. Ten felt an urge to run to create distance between them, however he decided against it, knowing that he wouldn’t get far before Yuta could catch up to him. Instead, he just picked up his pace, hopefully letting Yuta know he wasn’t interested in talking or hearing anything from him. 

_You can’t listen._ Screw you, Jungwoo! 

“Ten, stop!” Yuta called out again, his voice louder and clearer as he neared Ten. “Please stop! We need to talk!” 

“Do we now?” Ten abruptly stopped, turning on his heels to stare right at Yuta, the man much closer than Ten expected him to be. “What are you gonna say? Are you gonna make up fucking excuses? I don’t want to hear them.” 

“Excuses?” Yuta asked, baffled by what Ten was saying. “For what? I just wanted to apologise on Jungwoo’s behalf. I have no idea what got into him.” 

“As if I’d believe you,” Ten hissed, eyes a thin line as he glared at Yuta. “This is what you wanted. You knew this would happen. Why else would you have ever taken an interest in me in the first place?” 

Yuta blinked, completely lacking the words to form a response. “What?” That was all he could manage to muster up. It was packed with sheer confusion. “I- I don’t get understand. Why the accusatory tone all of a sudden?” 

“Don’t act like you don’t know anything,” Ten uttered, crossing his arms. 

“I- I don’t,” Yuta assured, a tinge of amusement laced to his last word. “I’m sorry but I’m utterly confused. What am I supposed to know?” 

“You did this on purpose. I don’t know _why._ Have I done something to you in the past? Or was it Taeyong?” Ten questioned, trying his hardest to make sense of the situation, because the slightest part of him couldn’t believe what he himself was saying. It’s as if his common sense was fighting against his broken heart and all the negative emotions and outlooks on life he had built up over his life. Though in the end, it was clear which side would win. 

“Ten, I don’t understand,” Yuta admitted. “Are you talking about what just happened?” 

“Don’t act stupid!” 

“I’m not,” the taller defended himself. “I genuinely didn’t know that you and Woo have history! And even if I did, _you_ were the one who came looking for me today. I’m allowed to have friends you know? Believe it or not.” 

Ten didn’t look impressed, his glazed over eyes still perfectly portraying his hatred, but this time it was real. This wasn’t the typical glare Yuta received when he kept talking to annoy Ten – no, this was actual fire. His gaze scorched Yuta’s skin, making the man uncomfortable in his own skin. All of this and no good reason in sight. 

“You’re such a liar,” Ten said coldly, a stark contrast to the flames ragefully dancing behind his eyes. “You got close to me, tried to tell me I’m a terrible person, yet all along you were the one who was hurting me. You’re despicable.” 

“You know what? I’m not gonna stand you slandering me like this.” Yuta had finally snapped. There was just so much he could deal with, but a baseless attack on him was just too much for him. There really was no hope for him. “You know, I really did think you were capable of change. When you apologised, I really thought you were heading down the right path. But now I know that I was wrong. I guess Jungwoo was right.” 

Ten scoffed. “Newsflash, I’m not your fucking patient! I shouldn’t have apologised. You know why? Because everything I said back then was true. You’ve got a serious hero complex.” 

“You’d think that make us compatible,” Yuta added with a sarcastic laugh. “The victim and hero. Yet here we are.” 

“Here we are,” Ten repeated, the atmosphere between them sombre all of a sudden. Like a switch, everything changed; the rage and confusion was gone, replaced with this... this understanding feeling. An understanding that this hasn’t and never will go anywhere. 

“So, I take this is a goodbye.” 

Ten nodded. “Indeed, it is.” 

Yuta smiled, looking down at the concrete beneath the two of them. “I wish you well,” he said with sincerity. “I hope you learn to trust again.” 

“I hope you can learn about personal boundaries,” Ten added, making the other man chuckle. 

Yuta looked up again, his own eyes glossy with tears. “I’ll try. Goodbye Ten.” 

“Goodbye Yuta.” 

*** 

_07:32 Me: in a few hours I'll be all yours baby_

_07:32 Me: you’re probably asleep now so_ _ill_ _leave you be for now_

_07:33 Me: hope you’re well rested when I come_ _back ;_ _)_

_07:33 Me: unless you just want cuddles in which_ _case_ _I am DOWN_

_07:33 Me: are you coming to pick me up at the airport?_

_07:33 Me: wait you’re sleeping! Text me when you’re up_ _tenten_

_07:34 Me: I love you_

_10:29 Me: are you okay_ _baby?_

_10:29 Me: you’re not reading these_

_10:29 Me: I'll be home soon_ _angel_

_***_

Ten thought he was going to cry himself to sleep, yet he couldn’t. The moment he found himself back at home he felt utterly numb, incapable of forcing anymore tears out. That same numb empty feeling stuck with him through the night up until now. He stayed completely still, even when his phone vibrated, most likely with messages from Taeyong. 

What time was it? Ten didn’t know. He had no idea if it was late or early, if Taeyong was just about to board the plane or if he had already landed. Ten should probably check. After all, he did plan on going to pick Taeyong up at the airport. He wanted to see his boyfriend, he wanted to run over to him and embrace him like they do in the movies, yet the weight of everything was keeping him trapped under his bedsheets. He couldn’t move, he simply lacked the energy and will to do so. 

There were a million thoughts rushing around in his head, so many that they became a dull ache. It was easier to ignore all of them than to actually take the time to process everything going on. If Ten could ignore it all – all that was said and done – then soon enough he would forget it ever happened in the first place. If he could forget and push it all down, then he would never have to think of it all ever again. 

He would simply forget Yuta and anything that had to do with him; Ten would quite literally erase the last few weeks out of his memory, that way he’d never have to think of last night. He could forget Jungwoo, just like he has managed to do for so long already. He could erase the venomous words he spoke, how he dug into Ten and clawed at Ten’s insecurities with no remorse whatsoever. 

How- why has Taeyong put up with Ten? Ten had nothing to give, and that’s been the case for the longest time now. All Ten did was complain, yet Taeyong stuck around. Why, why, _why?_

Moon jumped up on the bed with a soft purr, walking over to Ten, he small paws barely having an impact on the duvet. She looked at her owner with doe eyes, tilting her head to the side, seeming very human in the moment. Ten forced a smile, stroking the fur. 

“Am I a terrible person?” Ten asked, voice quiet and thick with sleep. Moon simply nuzzled herself against Ten’s hand, searching for attention. Ten did as ordered, pampering the loveable cat just like he knew she liked. Moon became a distraction to the multitude of thoughts swimming around Ten’s mind, even the grimmest of them all. “You’re such a cutie,” he added with a faint chuckle as Moon laid herself on her back, holding Ten’s hand in between her paws, body curved and eyes wide with the want to play. “Daddy’s coming home today, he’ll play with you when he gets back.” 

Speaking of Taeyong, Ten could swear he heard the front doors open amidst Moon’s purrs. It was a faint noise, yet it’s a sound so familiar, so unique that it had to be it. It’s been so long, too long, since Ten had the pleasure of hearing the soft click of the front doors as they opened and closed, announcing the arrival of the man he loved the most in the universe. It was Ten’s favourite song; it reminded him of what it felt to be home, the security and warmth that came knowing that Taeyong was home. 

_Taeyong_ _was finally home._

That felt so strange to say after so long, yet it definitely awakened something within Ten. He may have not been energetic and bouncing off the walls, but a weight had lifted from his heart. For the first time in weeks, Ten wasn’t as heavy, however he still wasn’t weightless. There was still plenty of things standing in his way, stopping him from truly being free, things he fought to repress and forget. Would he ever let them go? Would he ever possibly experience what freedom truly felt like? Those questions probably would go unanswered for a while, but one day they will have to be addressed, because there’s only so long you can fight with yourself. 

The bed dipped behind Ten, a familiar arm wrapping around his middle, holding him tight with all the love in the world. Ten shut his eyes, simply taking in this moment. It was something so small and normal, and it was exactly what Ten had missed the most. Despite feeling like he couldn’t cry last night, it seemed that tears were threatening to spill out any moment now. All it took was the steady rise and fall of Taeyong’s chest against his back, the way the older held onto Ten’s hand, the way he placed the softest kiss to the back of Ten’s neck. 

“Morning sleepy head,” Taeyong whispered, his hot breath meeting Ten’s sensitive skin, sending shivers down the younger man’s body. “Did you dream of me?” He asked, kissing Ten’s shoulder. Ten smiled softly, raising their joined hands up to his lips, pressing gentle kisses along Taeyong’s knuckles. “I’ll take that as a no,” Taeyong joked, the sweetest of laughs escaping past his lips. 

“I missed you,” Ten stated quietly, voice becoming strained with the fear of Ten erupting into cries. He was teetering on the verge of bursting into uncontrollable tears for one reason or another, and Taeyong’s presence was proving to be too much. Soon he wouldn’t be able to hide the monsoon of conflicting emotions bubbling up within him. Today was supposed to be a happy day, but all Ten would end up doing was sobbing in front of his clueless boyfriend. 

Taeyong didn’t know everything. He didn’t know the details surrounding Jungwoo. He didn’t know what happened when he was away. He didn’t know everything that had taken place last night or who on earth Yuta was. Taeyong was pretty much out of the loop, and the moment Ten would begin to try to explain anything he’d only be met with confused yet concerned eyes. 

“I missed you too,” Taeyong confessed, running his thumb over Ten’s hand in a comforting manner. “But I’m all yours now, for as long as you want me. And I mean this for real this time,” he promised. “You’re stuck with me now, for better or for worse.” 

Ten chuckled, nodding his head. Ten wanted to believe Taeyong; he wanted to believe that from now on he’ll never be lonely and that Taeyong would be by his side whenever he needed him there, and even when he didn’t. He just wanted Taeyong beside him. And as everyone knows by now, Ten doesn’t really have the best track record when it comes to trust, but it was different with Taeyong. The older always told what he thought was the truth; if he ever made a promise it was because he truly believed that he could keep the promise, and as painful as it was when he had to break his word, it was much better than never even trying to keep his word because, maybe one day, his promise would become reality. 

“Are you okay, baby?” Taeyong questioned, shuffling closer to Ten’s body, practically becoming one considering their proximity. “I was hoping you’d come pick me up today- not that you had to if you’re feeling unwell. Tennie? Speak to me?” 

Ten inhaled and then exhaled a shaky breath, clinging onto Taeyong’s hand like it was his sole lifeline. “I’m just tired,” he explained which wasn’t a lie really. He was tired, in many ways. He was tired of a multitude of things; one such thing was himself. He was tired of feeling the same everyday with no change at all. No matter how tried to lie to himself that he was heading in the right direction by somewhat admitting his flaws and faults, it was clear that he couldn't go far until he sought out genuine help. For now, he would simply end up walking in circles, his mind and soul stuck in an eternal tired state. “That’s all,” he added, twisting his head around, facing the ceiling, the corner of his eye catching a glimpse of Taeyong. 

“Should we stay like this then?” Taeyong suggested. “Should we have a lie in for the next week? We could just laze around in bed without a single care in the world. Together. How about that?” 

“I’d love that,” Ten admitted with the faintest of smiles. 

“That’s a plan then,” Taeyong confirmed happily, leaning in to kiss Ten’s rosy cheek. “Just you, me, Moon and the bed. There’s absolutely nothing else in the entire cosmos that I need other than this,” he stated, his words smooth like a river of honey, utterly sweet and tender. 

Ten struggled to flip himself over, finally face to face with Taeyong. He was as beautiful – if not more – as the last time Ten had seen him. His hair a mop of brown curls, long and perfect for running fingers through. It was most definitely a pleasant change from his shorter haircuts, but knowing Taeyong it won’t last long and soon enough he’ll get a trim, but he’ll still look absolutely breath taking. There was no doubt about that. The older looked at Ten with those large gentle eyes of his, completely in awe of the younger even though his own eyes contained all the constellations in the night sky. 

_But why?_

Ten buried his face against Taeyong’s chest, hiding from the tenderness of his eyes. He bit down on his nail, all whilst Taeyong aimlessly traced patters on Ten’s back with his long slender fingers. The older placed his chin atop Ten’s head, stray strands of hair tickling his nose, but he didn’t find that a nuisance. 

“W- why do you put up with me?” Ten asked, his voice pained by the severity of the question. Taeyong didn’t answer for a while, his hand still running up and down Ten’s spine, letting the younger know that he was there. He was always there for him. 

“Why do you put up with me?” Taeyong repeated Ten’s question, directing it at the man he held in his loving embrace. 

“Because I love you,” Ten replied in a heartbeat, baffled by the fact Taeyong would ever ask such a thing. Taeyong was Ten’s home, he was the one. Ten would lay his life down for Taeyong, he’d travel the world and walk through the gates of hell if it meant he’d have Taeyong by him for the end of time. 

“Well you just answered your own question,” Taeyong pointed out, placing a delicate kiss on Ten’s head, his arms tightening around the man. “It’s because I love you. Simple as that.” 

“But why?” Ten continued. “I’m just- I'm a mess.” 

“You’re much more than you think you are. You just don’t give yourself the credit for the good things.” 

Ten let out a pained sob, the sound breaking Taeyong’s heart the instant he heard it. The older pulled away to get a better look at Ten, moving down the bed to be able to look at Ten’s face which he had hid from him. Ten’s cheeks were shining with tears, tears which Taeyong knew nothing of until now. Ten’s sobs continued, his hands covering his face despite all of Taeyong’s attempts to get a good look at him. 

“Ten, baby,” Taeyong called out in a panicked manner. “Please Ten, _please_ look at me. Baby please, please tell me what’s wrong. Let me help you, Ten.” The younger sobbed again and Taeyong sat himself upright, pulling Ten up with him. The two sat on the bed, Ten’s head hung low. Taeyong reached out for Ten, holding the man’s face as Ten dropped his hands away. “Please...” Taeyong pleaded, his heart twisting in indescribable pain. 

“I... I don’t know what- what to do with myself,” Ten finally spoke up, unable to find better words for how he was feeling. But it was true. Ten had absolutely no idea what he should do with himself, how to cope with the crushing weight of everything. “I’m lost.” 

“Oh Ten,” the older exhaled, carefully pulling Ten closer, wrapping his arms around the man’s middle as Ten threw his own arms over Taeyong’s neck. “It’s okay. It’s okay, trust me baby. It’s okay to feel lost; you don’t have to know everything right now, okay? I’m with you, so please don’t be scared. Let me help you.” 

Ten clutched desperately onto Taeyong’s shirt, afraid that he could vanish any second. Ten could only cry, his hot tears dripping down and wetting his boyfriend’s clean white shirt. He needed Taeyong and he needed to trust everything he said, because without Taeyong, Ten would be completely adrift. Without Taeyong, Ten would truly lose himself – the last good part of himself. 

“Don’t leave me,” Ten begged. 

“I could never,” Taeyong assured. “You have my heart – all of me. Understood? I’m not going anywhere, okay? We’re in this together, forever.” 

“Promise?” 

“Cross my heart and hope to die. You’re the only one, Ten. You’re the only one for me.” The man kissed the nook of Ten’s neck, he kissed his collarbone and jaw, peppering loving kisses upon his face until Ten finally moved back, showing himself to Taeyong. Finally, for the first time in what felt like forever, Taeyong leaned in and joined their lips in the most tender of kisses. It was packed full of raw emotion, so heavy and dark on Ten’s side. However, Taeyong was there to take on some of the burden on his own shoulders. He would take away all the pain he had to so that Ten could smile with the force and brightness of a million suns once more. 

Taeyong cupped Ten’s cheek with one of his hands, the other holding his waist steady. The younger completely surrendered himself to Taeyong. Ten trusted Taeyong with his whole life. Maybe he lacked the ability to trust, but with Taeyong it was different. Everything was different with Taeyong. 

“I love you, so much,” Taeyong said against Ten’s lips, their dark eyes locked. Ten saw his future in those eyes, and maybe it wasn’t going to be so grim, not if he had Taeyong with him. “Every single little thing about you.” 

Ten wanted to trust those words. 

**Author's Note:**

> This has been a long ride. I started this back in June(?) and I've been struggling to finish it until now. This took a turn to the original idea which was supposed to be much nicer than this, however thanks to Nat, this turned out this way. So, I'd like to dedicate this to Nat who's been here with me on this journey. If it wasn't for you I've never been able to finish this.
> 
> I'm not gonna lie, this was extremely hard and somewhat painful to write. The internal conflict, contradictions and overall mess that Ten is in this fic was difficult to write without draining myself in the process. It's kind of funny how my first taeten fic on ao3 is angst, aka the thing I said I can't write/stand. Yet here we are. 
> 
> In terms of the ending, I guess it's up to you to choose if Ten get's a happy end or not. 
> 
> If you're interested in reading anything else I wrote, do check my other works out as well as my twitter where I post au's. I have some taeten au's which are much happier than this if you feel like you need to make up for all the angst with fluff and cheesy tropes.
> 
> My [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/teniljohnyong) Also, you can leave a comment on my [ CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/yoongaygl)
> 
> Thank you all for reading. I love you all.


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